tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36799934307519467952024-02-19T05:31:08.156-08:00THE POPPED POD!Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-92186262136330503012015-07-24T17:25:00.001-07:002015-07-25T11:54:07.973-07:00ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM<br />
Plaintiff, <b>LHORENZHO</b><br />
SUPERIOR COURT OF GULMOROGOD<br />
CBD station<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Susan Derpantsoff Attorney-at-Law</span></b><br />
<br />
Lhorenzho, Hamul Jinn, et. al. (to include other as yet unnamed John Does that may request joinder via Class Action suit)<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Plaintiff<br />
<br />
vs.<br />
<br />
MIURA BULL, Neo-Bushido<br />
<br />
Case No: unassigned<br />
<b>NOTICE OF MOTION AND MOTION FOR PRELIMINARY INJUNCTION - ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM</b><br />
<br />
Plaintiff Lhorenzho and named (Hamul Jinn) and unnamed co plaintiffs move for the issuance of a preliminary injunction pending the outcome of trial in this action, enjoining defendant <b>MIURA BULL </b>and his employees, agents, and persons acting with him or on his behalf, from creating this Mentorship Program.<br />
This motion is based upon the memorandum in support and declaration set forth below, and the complaint in this action.<br />
<br />
List of materials and exhibits:<br />
exhibit: 2A-24D<br />
<a href="http://www.miurabull.com/alliance-mentorship-program">http://www.miurabull.com/alliance-mentorship-program</a><br />
<br />
exhibit: 2A-24E<br />
<a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/272345350/EVE-Online-PVP-Ranking">http://www.scribd.com/doc/272345350/EVE-Online-PVP-Ranking</a><br />
<br />
<b>GENERAL COMMENTS:</b><br />
There is an old adage that states simply...<b>"STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT".</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
This ancient catchphrase has been the motivation for many a charlatan to move actively and resolutely on his unbridled impulses to swindle, con, cheat, scam, hoodwink, connive, fleece, bilk, hustle and rip-off his unsuspecting targets.<br />
<br />
The recent publication of what has been described as a <b>"WHITE PAPER</b>" <b> </b>(exhibit 2A-24E) ostensibly compiled, collated, synthesized and summarized by NEW EDEN statistical data crunchers and collectors was the apparent catalyst that inspired defendant MIURA BULL to establish his latest instrument of deceit and chicanery, <b>THE ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM. </b>(exhibit 2A-24D)<br />
<br />
The only adjective to describe this program is OUTRAGEOUS.<br />
<br />
As an aside and relating to the WHITE PAPER, where is the legendary math error correcting <b>BEAN COUNTER</b> <b><i>Kaeda Maxwell </i></b>when you need him to proof read an important paper being used by a twisted leader for nefarious ends?<br />
Now more than ever your alliance needs you!<br />
Step forward and expose the mathematical shortcomings of Da Bull's source of inspiration.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>POINTS AND AUTHORITIES:</b><br />
<br />
As a bit of background I provide the following short paragraphs.<br />
<br />
Our legal firm has a long history of acrimonious interactions with MIURA BULL.<br />
<br />
I would direct the court to have the clerk pull all documents filed by us in the last 5 years as they will clearly demonstrate the contentious nature of our contact.<br />
<br />
I have never met MIURA BULL personally but have had, as the record will show, innumerable contacts of one form or another stemming from his continual malfeasance in conducting his affairs.<br />
<br />
Generally, I would not waste a moment worrying about the activities of a known criminal, but when his actions bring him into conflict with my employer, a powerful man in his own right, I am forced to act with impunity.<br />
<br />
As the current and long standing legal representative of LHORENZHO, we have had to confront "DA BULL", as he is affectionately called by his minions, almost daily either by way of communication device warnings, restraining orders or actual legal filings as we attempted to quell his penchant for odiously outrageous schemes generally meant to missappropriate funds from various individuals and corporate entities.<br />
<br />
I will not try the courts patience by detailing the scurrilous marketing schemes he has orchestrated over the years in his efforts to scam honest hard working pilots out of their hard earned ISK by selling brazenly bogus items such as "<b>a box of hope</b>".<br />
<br />
The actions speak for themselves.<br />
Res Ipsa Loquitor!<br />
<br />
With a track record like that is it any wonder that he has now been emboldened to sell "<b>FUN".</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
FUN is the last thing his underlings would use as a descriptor to characterize their existence under his heinous reign.<br />
<br />
Its no secret that corporations under his tutelage have over the years suffered from an inordinate number of maladies and unfortunate incidents to include but certainly not limited to bio-massings, hooliganistic brawls after hours injuring innocent hard working strippers (they desperately need to unionize), widespread alcohol and drug abuse, human, animal and clone trafficking, creating and exploiting bio-mechanical devices (SGU's and PMU's), countless child labor law violations, and the unmitigated production and selling of subpar equipment and modules, many to his own pilots.<br />
<br />
The list is endless.<br />
<br />
I might add that he exerts tremendous pressure on his own membership to purchase ALL of their supplies from his "suppliers" which according to our investigative efforts appear to be agents operating in shadow corporations fully owned and operated by MIURA BULL.<br />
<br />
Lest the court view this filing as a mere litany of anecdotal complaints compiled by me personally as Lhorenzho's legal counsel, let it be known that at trial we intend to parade an array of witnesses before the court that will establish clearly the need for some form of governmental, administrative and/or judicial management of this out of control and diabolical "force of nature" that is MIURA BULL.<br />
<br />
He must be stopped before he embellishes further his devilish legacy.<br />
As the bard said...."<b>The evil that men do lives after them: the good is oft interred with their bones."</b><br />
<br />
While we intend at this juncture to deal only with stopping the implementation of the <b>ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM</b>, our hope is that ultimately our success here will act as a template of sorts to guide others as they attempt to curb and corral further transgressions and peccadillos that may be fermenting in Mr. BULL's twisted mind.<br />
I recall a line from the great Doors singer that stated..."HIS MIND IS SQUIRMING LIKE A TOAD!" Dare I say Mr. Bull resembles that remark?<br />
Like a precociously naughty child he must be put on a permanent "TIME OUT".<br />
<br />
Although this has been noted above as an exhibit, it is linked here again for the courts convenience.<br />
<a href="http://www.miurabull.com/alliance-mentorship-program">http://www.miurabull.com/alliance-mentorship-program</a><br />
<br />
I plan on referring to this document only briefly as I conclude this filing but the court is advised that we will be dissecting this memorandum in great detail at trial as well as the PVP "white paper" which Miura Bull has suggested gives him some form of authority to push forward with his plans.<br />
<br />
<br />
I must stress that the <b>ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM </b>while touted by its developer as being "voluntary" is nothing but and that Miura Bull as is his custom will find a means to coerce the membership into enrolling either by direct pressure or through pressure exerted by his mechanical overseers, <b>SEMI AUTONOMOUS GUARD UNIT (SGU)</b> and the <b>PROTOTYPE MOTIVATIONAL UNIT (PMU).</b><br />
<br />
Separate filings asking the court to issue an order that these units be sent to a Junk Crushing Yard for recycling is pending and will be filed shortly. These two contraptions would best serve the public interest functioning as lamp stands.<br />
We again ask that the court render an expedited order on this issue as well.<br />
<br />
<b>HAMUL JINN:</b><br />
More specifically, the court is now also asked to supersede Miura Bull's corporate authority at this point in time and summarily authorize Lhorenzho to accept the application for admission filed by Hamul Jinn. We pray the court will issue an immediate order on this pivotal issue.<br />
<br />
Miura Bull has made it clear to my client LHORENZHO that Hamul Jinn is to be considered for admission ONLY if he accepts the condition that he enter the prohibitively costly "MENTORSHIP PROGRAM".<br />
<br />
It is rare for Lhorenzho to "<b>VOUCH</b>" for an applicant, but he was singularily impressed by Mr. Jinn's presentation, demeanor, and combat record, in particular the <b>CRAKE GATERAU </b>Kill mail that is the crown jewel on Mr. Jinn's resume.<br />
The court must NOT allow Miura Bull to deligitimize, devalue and render worthless a Lhorenzho "VOUCH".<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>FUN as a product to be sold: </b><br />
<br />
The law describes an AMBIGUOUS term as one.....<b><i>"open to more than one interpretation; having a double meaning, Unclear or inexact, of doubtful or uncertain nature..."</i></b><br />
There are other more technical definitions but the above should suffice for the layman and the "pirate types" that may stumble on this filing.<br />
We certainly do not want to confuse their already combat addled brains further.<br />
<br />
There can be no dispute that to sell FUN is an activity best left to carnival barkers and bordello operators.<br />
To make the sale of "FUN" the centerpiece of a NEW EDEN wide marketing campaign whose intent is to rake in billions and trillions of ISK while hawking a nebulous and amorphously murky concept is at best questionable and at most acutely criminal, especially considering that the first likely victims will be those most incapable of absorbing the financial burden this program will impose upon them, namely his own alliance brothers.<br />
<br />
What is FUN? One man's fun is another man's torture.<br />
Can FUN be put in a BOX OF HOPE?<br />
<br />
Our legal firm has employed a small army of junior partners to pore over the WHITE PAPER and the <b>ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM</b> in excruciating detail.<br />
<br />
They have found preliminarily a plethora of collective bargaining violations (coercing members into performing non union classified jobs categorized as FUN AGENTS), abject misrepresentations (e.g. claiming Miura Bull is a featured fun expert on channels and shows), and a host of other potentially criminal and civil crimes that will be exposed at trial.<br />
<br />
While Miura Bull claims the sole right to expand and grow the Neo Bushido Alliance he is nevertheless required to confer with his own created "<b>Council of leadears</b>" when his actions may result in a sudden and exponential growth in membership. Any first year business student at Caldari U knows that uncontrolled growth in an enterprise is never a good thing.<br />
The unofficial leadership cadre, this quasi mysterious Council of Leaders must still be given the opportunity to address this issue.<br />
Fittingly, Lhorenzho is the leader of that council.<br />
<br />
Miura Bull has stubbornly refused to convene this body of wise men and this omission must also be addressed.<br />
<br />
The entire corporate ethos at SKRMR and Neo Bushido revolves around small gang warfare operating from within the confines of a small elite and very proud core of pilots.<br />
<br />
To entertain this fanciful <b>ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM</b> is madness and its clear manifestations will undoubtedly be to destroy the Neo Bushido way of life.<br />
<br />
This selling of "FUN" is clearly meant to induce an ill advised recruiting rush and indeed his own materials boast that the mentorship program will facilitate the rapid recruiting of entire alliances into the fold.<br />
This will be the death knell of NEO-BUSHIDO and Skrmr.<br />
<br />
What a chaotic atmosphere he has fomented.<br />
<br />
On one hand singlehandedly standing at the doorway impeding the admission of one Hamul Jinn and on the other hand actively selling and recruiting to a potential pool of thousands.<br />
<br />
The contradictions are astounding.<br />
<br />
The damage that will be done to the existing alliance structure and lifestyle may turn out to be incalculable.<br />
<br />
Susan Derpantsoff Esquire.<br />
Gulmorogod CBD station. suite 105ALhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-70464422659681864032014-08-11T13:00:00.001-07:002014-08-11T13:00:19.426-07:00Housekeeping IssuesI want to apologize for the inordinate number of posts listed for the month of august.<br />
<br />
They are merely reposting's of blog entries previously issued.<br />
<br />
Sadly, in a hysterical, emotion filled state of lunacy, I recently deleted all blog entries as I prepared to "RAGE QUIT" this game.<br />
<br />
The game had literally broken me and I wanted out.<br />
<br />
As is often the case, I reconsidered and well, here I am back again.<br />
<br />
I did lament the loss of the postings and struggled with various methods in trying to recoup the material.<br />
<br />
Thankfully, a wonderful utility called THE WAYBACK MACHINE, facilitated my efforts to reclaim the posts which I though were lost forever.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://archive.org/">https://archive.org/</a><br />
<br />
I realize that there is nothing of great value recorded herein but in a moment of reflection it dawned on me that perhaps there may be a reason someday down the road where I might want to share these crazy scribblings with a trusted loved family member. (once they are of age of course)<br />
<br />
This game has too much to offer by way of content and wonderful company to leave on a sudden impulse. <br />
I realize that now.<br />
<br />
<br />
Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-36315528814085002962014-08-11T12:47:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:47:31.052-07:00A WARRIOR'S DEATH!<br />
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<b>THE NEWSPAPER NOTICE:</b><br />
<br />
RENOWNED HAYABUSA PILOT COMMITS SUICIDE!<br />
<br />
<i>New Eden authorities open investigative inquiries.</i><br />
<i>Miura Bull questioned.</i><br />
<br />
Bex Bixley - UPI correspondent.<br />
SPECIAL REPORT.<br />
<br />
Local authorities, responding to a tip from an unknown female were summoned to the site of an unauthorized BIOMASSING yesterday afternoon.<br />
<br />
The distraught woman, who has yet to be identified was taken to the local magistrates office for interrogation and subsequently released.<br />
<br />
"He is dead. He is dead!!" She was heard to wail as she was led away by system officials.<br />
<br />
A concorde spokesperson speaking anonymously has verified that the woman was a member of the custodial crew and discovered the grisly remains in the chamber while cleaning the premises.<br />
<br />
The pilot has been identified through DNA testing as CRAKE GATERAU, a member of the SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR) corporation, a well known and controversial pirate entity led by Miura Bull.<br />
<br />
Gaterau was a celebrated PvP practitioner who had in recent times propelled himself into the top 10 of the BattleClinic rankings.<br />
<br />
The death has been ruled a suicide.<br />
This determination is based on the contents of a blog journal entry that was discovered in Gaterau's quarters, however, questions remain and local law enforcement has indicated that there is a possibility that charges may be brought against several individuals of interest.<br />
<br />
Documentation found at Gatereu's quarters has also raised suspicions of workplace abuses that may have precipitated the unfortunate incident.<br />
<br />
"What we found was disturbing and frankly, Miura Bull has a sordid history of these type of indiscretions and it does not surprise me that his policies have led to this tragedy", said lieutenant Marcos Mendoza Lopez..<br />
<br />
"We have been monitoring the situation in SKRMR for quite some time and I am sorry that this happened before we could bring charges" added Lopez.!<br />
<br />
"This investigation is not over. Not by a long shot.", whispered Lopez as he gingerly collected the remains in a small cup.<br />
Details regarding memorial services for the deceased have not been released.<br />
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<b><i>MY OWN BRIEF COMMENTS:</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b> <br />
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF8a9gHaPG53azCpQ2zvGZInNrpAubnLoR4dGBDCJuElIsTspYa62yu6IEs5TninZkvCnEBJk5oRQPD0p6ISnTjaIUHFx19v_ZWTzMbn2XD96GjWMSqgZxHcjucuf78bSvYGz_bPM-GIE/s1600/92628963_256.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF8a9gHaPG53azCpQ2zvGZInNrpAubnLoR4dGBDCJuElIsTspYa62yu6IEs5TninZkvCnEBJk5oRQPD0p6ISnTjaIUHFx19v_ZWTzMbn2XD96GjWMSqgZxHcjucuf78bSvYGz_bPM-GIE/s1600/92628963_256.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><i><br /></i></b> <br />
The newspaper account of the incident has broken my heart.<br />
I ask your indulgence and patience as you work your way through this emotional and disjointed diatribe.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://lowsecreject.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/elysium-awaits/">http://lowsecreject.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/elysium-awaits/</a><br />
<br />
Well, it has finally happened.<br />
The last posting above, which I have taken the liberty of linking here from his journal speaks for itself.<br />
<br />
As I predicted in an earlier writing, the rigors and unrelenting demands of the SCREAMING HAYABUSA, kill at all cost, we must rule the Battleclinic rankings bloodlust culture, a culture pushed with implacable cruelty to its most tragic consequences by a ruthless CEO who appears woefully oblivious to its manifestations and spirit breaking repercussions, has claimed its first victim.<br />
<br />
I fear there may be more to follow.<br />
<br />
My beloved corpmate, the popular, highly respected rising star and dogfight phenom CRAKE GATERAU, he whose future was by all accounts limitless and filled with hope and driven by dreams of attaining pirating perfection, has committed suicide.<br />
<br />
He has walked into the BIOMASS chamber.<br />
<br />
He is no more.<br />
<br />
That glorious, dazzlingly brilliant, PvP virtuouso has burned out and been reduced to a couple of ounces of BIOMASS debris.<br />
<br />
Our dear CG is gone forever.<br />
<br />
We, his adoring corpmates are devastated.<br />
<br />
He took his own life when it appeared it was at the apex of its brilliance.<br />
<br />
The young, kind, generous kid, who would on an almost daily basis surprise me with contracts of wine, spirit, smokes, and hookers is gone.<br />
He was always worried about my spirit and how I was holding up.<br />
<br />
SKRMR is in turmoil over these developments, and well it should be.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
As the venerable Thomas Hobbes clone #234-A32 once uttered, the life of the solo pirate in the brutally unforgiving vastness of NEW EDEN is certain to be nasty, brutish, and short.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Despite this immutable truth, we cannot lose hope that our innate goodness as a species will ultimately win out and temper the intrinsic evil that so perniciously permeates our existence as it is shaped by NEW EDEN.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
CG was cognizant of this maxim and insisted on his pursuit of PVP excellence despite the deadly milieu in which he had to operate and ply his deadly trade.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
He was a gentle soul and he was a warrior's warrior.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
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He understood that there was no incongruity in these seemingly contradictory stances.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
A brutal universe did not mean an abandonment of our humanity.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
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He was also a hard working brave young soul.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Now he is gone.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
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We, the ones left behind cannot lose hope.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
His memory mandates that we not give up.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
While untold numbers of young capsuleers toil in virtual obscurity and desolate loneliness on a daily basis in the thousands and thousands of star systems of NEW EDEN, there is still the earnest belief prevalent I firmly believe, that basic human tenets of respect, kindness, and comfort will be given consideration and will hold sway and will not wane and vanish in the smoke of autocannon fire.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Gratuitous fiendish savagery and rancor are not required to be a warrior.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
We will NEVER surrender to our barbaric nature. We must not.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
CG was a warrior who understood this.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
You can be a magnificent warrior and retain all those properties and virtues that make HUMAN KIND such an admirable life form.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Yet, there is a harsh reality that cannot be avoided.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
New Eden fights us hard everyday!</div>
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It wants us reduced to our lowest common denominator.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
There is NO room for idealism or altruistic sentiments in the existence known as NEW EDEN. </div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Not if she has her way.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
We have all learned over time to live and accept that fact.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Do not misunderstand me.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
They exist and can be embraced privately and in secret but we are discouraged from openly acknowledging them as virtues to be practiced or perfected.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Unfortunately, in some circles, individuals of depraved, unscrupulous and iniquitous nature take this fact and use it as a template to heap even more pain, agony, and cruelty upon their minions.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
This was and is especially true in that ghastly enclave known as THE SCREAMING HAYABUSAS.</div>
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Imagine the inherent brutality of NEW EDEN writ small and much more concentrated.</div>
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That was and is SKRMR.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
The leadership of MIURA BULL would never permit any stasis other than complete surrender to our most base primitive urges and compulsions.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
This is why the fingers of accusation are ALL pointed at the SKRMR CEO.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
We know WHO to blame.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
The overriding question is of course WHY?<br />
Some will still ask why despite the framework I have provided above.<br />
<br />
What could have prompted someone,who apparently had so much to live for in NEW EDEN to take such a radical step?<br />
<br />
In scenarios like this, there is of course a preliminary period of grieving, followed by necessary inquiry and questioning, and ending ultimately in finger pointing.<br />
<br />
Without question, as I have already alluded to above, ALL fingers are pointing at the CEO of the Screaming Hayabusa.<br />
<br />
Yes, we are looking at you Miura Bull!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Life, even in the warriors reality is still to be honored and treasured and is not to be frittered away or wasted, especially to serve the needs of certain megalomaniacal personas.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
The unmitigated desire for personal aggrandizement found in many of NEW EDEN's ruling corporate elite must be quelled.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
People cannot and should not be subordinated to this narcissistic objective.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Sadly, this admonition was ignored in the Hayabusa corporation.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
WHERE WAS OUR LEADER WHEN CG WAS SUFFERING? Why was he oblivious to his condition?</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
Our young friend and corpmate had for some time now been clearly on the brink.<br />
<br />
It was obvious even to the most obtuse of pirate dunderheads in the SKRMR collective that he was becoming increasingly disenchanted and disillusioned with his life in SKRMR.<br />
<br />
He was being pushed too hard and for too long.<br />
<br />
Frankly, many of us were.<br />
He was not alone in that mindset.<br />
Still, we are haunted by that doleful question.<br />
<br />
What could we have done to prevent this?<br />
<br />
Multiple times in recent weeks, our young friend made overtures to us and in his own way reached out to us and asked for our help but we did not respond.<br />
He was ashamed to be forthright with us and reticent to clearly articulate the depths of his concerns and worries to us lest he be judged.<br />
<br />
He was, as many of us in SKRMR have been conditioned to be, ashamed to show weakness and vulnerability because to do so would violate an unwritten rule of the HAYABUSA cult!<br />
We are tough and we kill.<br />
<br />
Instead he only hinted about his personal adversity and rapidly failing coping mechanisms and hoped for a helping hand and then when no help was forthcoming, continued on with the execution of his life sapping orders.<br />
<br />
Orders from MIURA BULL.<br />
<br />
Orders that were conceived with only one purpose in mind, the preservation of the MIURA BULL mystique.<br />
This could only be achieved by maintaining a lofty position on the corporate rankings.<br />
The order was clear and was to be strived for at ALL costs in both material and personnel.<br />
No collateral damage was too great.<br />
No price too heavy to pay.<br />
<br />
You did not complain EVER.<br />
You just undocked.<br />
You KILLED and then KILLED some more.<br />
<br />
<b>KEEP US AT THE TOP OF THE KILLBOARD</b> and <b>BEAT YOUR CORPMATES</b> for the SKRMR in house championship!!<br />
<br />
That message droned down to us daily from the ivory tower where our corporate leadership resided.<br />
It is a leadership cadre of ONE.<br />
<br />
The pressure that kid must have felt.<br />
We ALL felt the pressure, but CG felt it more acutely than anyone else.<br />
<br />
<br />
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Recently, I commented on the toxic nature of this corporate competition and on the dangers of a prolonged drive to maintain KB dominance.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
I warned of its possible ramifications.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Now CG, our guiding PVP light has been extinguished.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
Many times I advised him to slow down and take time off.<br />
<br />
He refused and appeared compelled by some unholy forces to continue his campaign to make MIURA BULL proud of him.<br />
He had drunk the koolaid and was lost to us.<br />
<br />
Like a puppet on a string, he pressed forward and did the obligatory rueful dance, putting on a brave face, and venturing forth every day to "<b>FEED BEBBY!"</b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">FEED BEBBY!</span></b>.<br />
<br />
How we have grown to hate that exhortation!!!<br />
<br />
That <b>"FEED BEBBY</b>" mantra was the cry that was expected from every pilot in SKRMR before undocking and it was the precursor, the condition precedent, to this young mans early and most untimely death.<br />
<br />
And yet, our own sense of despair as we watched his inexorable deterioration and unrestrained downward spiral to his ultimate death, was not enough to motivate us to act.<br />
<br />
We could not commiserate with him or share in his torment because that would be acknowledging our own weaknesses.<br />
We were ensnared in the same vile despicable web!<br />
<br />
To show weakness and vulnerability in SKRMR was, according to MIURA BULL, to invite capitulation and submission and abnegation.<br />
<br />
It was a renunciation of the SKRMR creed and a welcoming of all things lily-livered and chickenhearted and timorous and weak-kneed.<br />
<br />
You were a yellow belly, a spineless, cowering, fainthearted sissy!<br />
<br />
You pushed ON and never looked back!<br />
<br />
THE KILLBOARD. ALWAYS THE KILLBOARD!!<br />
<br />
That was ALL that mattered.<br />
<br />
The HAYABUSA chief will of course accuse me of "SPINNING" this scenario in order to put him in the worst possible light.<br />
<br />
No spin is necessary as the facts are self evident.<br />
<br />
The Hayabusa culture and corporate ethos, powered by the vainglorious self absorption of its leader, is solely to blame for the loss of our dear friend.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-warriors-death.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2014-05-13T20:25:00-07:00">8:25 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="reaction-buttons"></span> <span class="star-ratings"></span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-warriors-death.html#comment-form"> 8 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-backlinks post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-warriors-death.html#links">Links to this post</a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=3804722099589298372" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1703096760"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=3804722099589298372&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="18" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117im_/http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> <br />
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-27799959946897234772014-08-11T12:47:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:47:01.052-07:00SKRMR champions, Tanya Harding, Round Bellies, a challenge to R1FTA, and other stuff<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Sunday, May 4, 2014</h2>
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEybBQNE1EbNOCRXxA_0GaKf91tz5-2dnWVnmRQvypkG1SanyIVgl2KWnxFa8Ofh-8WyhyEcIzbSYLpXSHWlMChM35okbsE8TMmrOkQ7GoplMmYq6sGWWMJUq5InfFNoLPuINwyPC5sjk/s1600/ASPBATON.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEybBQNE1EbNOCRXxA_0GaKf91tz5-2dnWVnmRQvypkG1SanyIVgl2KWnxFa8Ofh-8WyhyEcIzbSYLpXSHWlMChM35okbsE8TMmrOkQ7GoplMmYq6sGWWMJUq5InfFNoLPuINwyPC5sjk/s1600/ASPBATON.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
First, I ask you to take a gander at the implement pictured above.<br />
<br />
It is officially called an ASP Baton, and it was the East L.A. homeboys tool of choice for making sure the old lady was "<b>always in the mood",</b> that is until that foolish Jeff Gilooly, ex husband of notorious bad girl skater, Tanya Harding, hired some dim wit to use one to whack Nancy Kerrigan in the knee.<br />
<br />
In the barrio, we never heard the words, "<b>Not Tonight Viejo, I have a headache!</b>".<br />
No gleam killer for us.<br />
This baton was better than any aspirin.<br />
You merely pointed to the tool in the corner of the room and you would soon as Shakespeare so aptly stated be the recipient of.... <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> ‘profit’s yet to come ‘tween me and you’</span></b><br />
<br />
"COSITAS BUENAS" as that great salsa song used to say<br />
<br />
Also, as an ergonomic aside, it possessed a symmetry and balance that made it a joy to "wield".<br />
A random non-sequitor I know but an important point to make.<br />
<br />
Now, thanks to that foolish shortsighted Gillooly, this marvelous magic wand has been forever stigmatized as a tool for nefarious actions, throwing it into the heap along with brass knuckles, the Tucker telephone, and the Cat o nine tails. (you will have to research those yourself).<br />
<br />
We will come back to this BATON in a few minutes.<br />
<br />
I have other quick issues to cover.<br />
<br />
Lets press on.<br />
<br />
Recently, <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Miura Bull,</span></b> the chief of the Screaming Hayabusa (SKRMR), published a blog post that has, as I so astutely predicted after first reading it, created havoc within the membership of SKRMR and may ultimately spell the demise of that great organzation.<br />
<br />
Yes this knee jerk policy and proposal could topple the HAYABUSAS!<br />
<br />
Here is the blog post:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/2014/05/skrmr-world-champions.html">http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/2014/05/skrmr-world-champions.html</a><br />
<br />
When he first published the blog, I penned a strongly worded cautionary post on our forums, hoping to convince Da BULL that he should table this whole idea.<br />
<br />
Predictably, as is his custom, he ignored my admonitions and set the corp upon itself, forcing us to battle night and day, for the purposes of being named SKRMR champion.<br />
<br />
<b>SKRMR CHAMPION!</b><br />
<br />
There isn't even a fucking belt!<br />
<br />
Many who have read this blog in the past are keenly aware of the ongoing battle I have had with this CEO.<br />
<br />
Frankly, he could care less if his entire corporation to the man/woman toppled over from sheer exhaustion.<br />
<br />
He is, I am afraid, a misanthropist of the first order.<br />
<br />
This blog post of mine is being penned on the 5th of May and already I have seen the deleterious effects this policy has promulgated.<br />
<br />
Every active member of the corporation is undocked and scrambling for their lives, killing everything that moves or even doesn't move but at a heavy cost.<br />
<br />
Day old noobs, cyno ships, and celestial objects of all types are being destroyed and at record numbers.<br />
This is saying something as the HAYABUSA, are the top ranked PvP corporation by BC standards.<br />
<br />
Many have already complained that they just cannot go on.<br />
<br />
I have become the unofficial ample "shoulder to cry on".<br />
But what can I do?<br />
<br />
I pat them on the head, wipe their little tears, give them a shot of whiskey and push them off the undock.<br />
My hands are tied!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>SEX DISCRIMINATION!!</b><br />
Now, I must address the sexism I have encountered and at this juncture we reconnect to to the BATON discussion noted above.<br />
<br />
At the beginning of the month, one of our newest members and a former chief of R1FTA, <b>Arianne Stone</b>, stormed out of the gates and took a quick lead on the KillBoard.<br />
She was a sight to behold. A femme fatale indeed.<br />
<br />
While chatting casually with the BOSS, he intimated that having a girl at the top could be problematic from a public relations point of view.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I of course did not agree.</span></i></b><br />
<br />
Now I am not up on all the "emoticon" language and am fuzzy on what inferences those little characters may convey when served up in a chat.<br />
But what I saw next troubled me.<br />
<img align="middle" alt="" border="0" class="th" height="90" name="imgthumb2" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" style="margin: 0px;" title="http://www.clker.com/clipart-4273.html" width="84" /><br />
<br />
I saw what looked like a winking eye pop up and a comment from Da Bull about someone doing a "KERRIGAN" on Arianne!!<br />
<br />
Say What!!!<br />
I have taken the liberty of ordering my dear ARI the following industrial strength knee pads.<br />
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig4ZhguRuH9hi5mZUSQZgeI0Y0KzNEcmwjdQGh_ZhWh9otuiT4mKWlwOmASOOWdm093ZJyZy7EBjniZXCLRa-w9wiv-dq7xGEF3u_qgmhilbdZf2hIYCLCMqfakhnNYGCW_1d1MhOOC8s/s1600/knee+pads.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig4ZhguRuH9hi5mZUSQZgeI0Y0KzNEcmwjdQGh_ZhWh9otuiT4mKWlwOmASOOWdm093ZJyZy7EBjniZXCLRa-w9wiv-dq7xGEF3u_qgmhilbdZf2hIYCLCMqfakhnNYGCW_1d1MhOOC8s/s1600/knee+pads.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I will let that sexist 15th century mindset sit in your gullet for a spell as I move on to yet another major concern of mine, since this has turned into a generalized complaint session.<br />
<br />
<b>AGE DISCRIMINATION! </b><br />
Rampant age discrimination.<br />
<br />
Late last night, while consoling another harried, distressed, young corpmate, I was stunned to hear words I had never hoped to hear in my tenure as pilot with SKRMR.<br />
<br />
The young pilot, no doubt, overwhelmed with gratitude at my comforting words, looked up and with a smile called me "<b>SENIOR SKRMR CHAMPION!"</b><br />
<br />
Evidently in private, it is being bandied about that I should be competing in a separate division, a division for older players, a division that golfer Lee Trevino used to refer to as the "ROUND BELLIES", when speaking about the senior PGA.<br />
<br />
Yes I have a big round belly and an unflattering panniculus.<br />
But surgery can remedy that dammit!!<br />
My piloting skills are still excellent and I use my hands and my wits not my gut!!<br />
<br />
I am thought incapable of competing on a level footing with these young punks.<br />
<br />
I am certain that DA BULL both initiated and fueled the flames of that vicious rumor!<br />
<br />
Well, I present the following for your perusal:<br />
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I am writing this blog post during a short respite, before I undock again.<br />
<br />
The "EURO's" have gone to bed and I will soon be out and about looking for targets.<br />
<br />
As Will Varner told his son in THE LONG HOT SUMMER when referring to the rival Ben Quick....<b>"He will be awake when you are asleep and he will be where you ain't!"</b><br />
<b><br /></b> I am out there young whippersnappers and I am killing shit!!!<br />
<br />
I will log tonite and hit the sack sitting comfortably at the top of the KILLBOARD!!<br />
<br />
How do you like them apples?<br />
<br />
I apologize for the resentment and indignation that may be permeating this post but I am at my wits end.<br />
<br />
Though I disagree with the whole SKRMR champion concept, I am going to teach those young punks a thing or two.<br />
<br />
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This goes for <b>R1FTA</b> as well. </div>
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Watch yourselves young REBELS!!</div>
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This month and only this month I will put my feeling aside and push for that TITLE!!<br />
<br />
You have awakened a sleeping sexagenarian!!!!!<br />
<br />
Watch your six punks!!!!<br />
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-14326713243504684882014-08-11T12:46:00.002-07:002014-08-11T12:46:41.314-07:00DRAMA UNFOLDING IN GULMO!!!!!<br />
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Sunday, March 2, 2014</h2>
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<br />
Authorities have responded to the GULMO CBD storage station in HEIMATAR region, where a despondent and possibly mentally deranged pirate identified as "LHORENZHO" has taken two hostages and has sequestered himself in a locked BIOMASS chamber in the station.<br />
<br />
According to local unnamed spokespersons, LHORENZHO went berserk after losing a workers compensation claim against his employer, THE SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR), an outfit led by notorious pirate MIURA BULL.<br />
Subsequent to the decision being issued the suspect was seen to calmly grab his side arm and requested his personal valet be summoned.<br />
Experts have noted that it is not uncommon for those who have decided to take their own lives to exhibit an almost serene demeanor once the decision has been made and internalized.<br />
<br />
The hostages identified as Strhyke Cantaso and Bhane Celesto, are presumably associates of the perpetrator and are said to be in relatively good health.<br />
When brought to the CHAMBER window by Lhorenzho they appeared understandably haggard and tired. Both also appeared to have been subjected to some physical abuse.<br />
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Of major concern to security forces on the scene at the moment is the BIOMASS chamber timer which has been activated by the kidnapper.<br />
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Local authorities have verified that the 10 hour timer is running and although the specific timer for LHORENZHO was not shown, it is believed he has activated it as well.<br />
(The photos above were provided by NEW EDEN authorities and close inspection reveals the timers have been activated)<br />
<br />
The crime appears to have been pre-planned as the coding for the chamber has been altered and there appears to be no way to deactivate it without the assistance of the BIOMASS chamber developer who has not been located.<br />
The men are locked in and nothing short of an explosion that would severely injure the participants could open the chamber.<br />
New Eden workers compensation officials believe one of Lhorenzho's many contacts in the industry may have tipped him off as to the decision allowing him time to plan his final vendetta.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Lhorenzho has also indicated that an envelope containing a letter is to be opened and read upon his demise, further proof that he has undoubtedly initiated his own timer.<br />
<br />
He has demanded that Ava Starfire, Sindel Pellion, and Sugar Kyle be brought to the chamber.<br />
Several persons close to the suspect have stated that he has had a long running infatuation with the sexy trio.<br />
<br />
He has also demanded that his workers compensation claim be accepted posthumously and that DEATH BENEFITS and other accrued benefits be paid out to named beneficiaries as specified in the letter he has in his possession in the chamber.<br />
<br />
The authorities are working feverishly to meet some of the demands although the busy schedules of the three ladies named apparently makes their appearance virtually impossible.<br />
The decision that ostensibly fomented the eruption in the suspect is provided below.<br />
<br />
Corp members of Lhorenzho interviewed have stated that he has been feuding aggressively with SKRMR management, in particular the mercurial MIURA BULL, over pressure to perform on the KILLBOARD.<br />
<br />
The aging LHORENZHO was said to be struggling as he worked 20 plus hours a day to maintain a respectable position on the dreaded KILLBOARD, especially in light of the spectacular performances of several new young stars hired by the demanding BULL.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>THE DECISION</b><br />
<br />
HEIMATAR REGIONAL WORKERS COMPENSATION APPEALS BOARD<br />
Decision and Order<br />
Case 4587-852L<br />
Re: Lhorenzho Villasana Escalante Del Bosque Pena III<br />
The court finds that Lhorenzho is to <b>"Take Nothing".</b><br />
Of primary utility in the courts decision were a series of Sub-Rosa films provided by the investigative firm CHEATERS, hired by Employer SKRMR (Screaming Hayabusa) to rebut the numerous claims set forth by the complainant.<br />
The undersigned trier of fact reviewed the 8 hours and 23 minutes worth of footage.(some portions of grainy quality were not considered)<br />
Clearly the activities of the claimant as depicted therein call into question his veracity and credibility and his specific and ongoing injury allegations are suspect in toto as a result.<br />
Mr. Villasana was seen in the provided video record, to be participating in a variety of strenuous activities both of a work and recreational nature that render his now clearly preposterous claims for orthopedic and Psychiatric benefits moot and unwarranted.<br />
The court remands the matter back to the district court of jurisdiction for final disposition.<br />
The employer and its insurer are found not liable and are relieved of any liablilty both past, current, and future stemming from claim number 4587-852L as recorded above.<br />
<br />
Claimant has the right to file an appeal within 7 days to the NEW EDEN 18th district court of appeals.<br />
<br />
signed,<br />
Armando Cesar Trinidad Canizales<br />
HRWCAB presiding judge Pro-Tem<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>ADDITIONAL MATERIALS OF INTEREST </b><br />
The following may shed some light on the nature of the dispute as it developed.<br />
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
FUCK YOU!<br />
You have pushed me for the last time BULL.<br />
Unlike some of your new pilots, I will not be taken advantage of by you.<br />
You have something to say to me go through my attorney at least as it pertains to my comp case.<br />
FYI, my doctor has said I cannot be released to return to work for at least a month.<br />
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<strong>THE WORKERS COMPENSATION FILING</strong><br />
(as provided by Lhorenzho's counsel)<br />
<br />
HEIMATAR REGIONAL WORKERS COMPENSATION APPEALS BOARD<br />
APPLICATION FOR ADJUDICATION<br />
<br />
Case no: NO CASE NUMBER ASSIGNED (pending)<br />
SSN- N/A<br />
Venue choice: HEIMATAR<br />
INJURED WORKER (completion of this section is required)<br />
First name: LHORENZHO<br />
Last name: VILLASANA ESCALANTE DEL BOSQUE PENA III<br />
<br />
Address: GULMOROGOD VI - MOON 4- CBD STORAGE<br />
<br />
EMPLOYER INFORMATION<br />
Employer Name: THE SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR)<br />
<br />
Employer address: ISHOMILKEN IX - MOON 4 - CHIEF EXECUTIVE PANEL BUREAU<br />
Insurance carrier information(if known and applicable)<br />
Carrier name: Not provided (possibly illegally uninsured)<br />
<br />
Carrier address: Unknown<br />
<br />
IT IS CLAIMED THAT (complete all relevant information)<br />
1. The injured worker, born 4/12/2007 on Amsen VI - Moon 1 - Science and Trade school, while employed as a(n) PIRATE/GRIEFER/CAPSULEER/ENTREPRENEUR<br />
suffered:<br />
a specific injury on: 2/26/2014 (OLD EARTH CALENDER SYSTEM)<br />
and/or<br />
a cumulative trauma - AND CONTINUING (still employed by SKRMR)<br />
<br />
The injury occurred at: In and around BLACK RISE, THE CITADEL, HEIMATAR, METROPOLIS AND OTHER DUTY AREAS AS SPECIFIED BY SKRMR.<br />
<br />
(STATE WHICH PARTS OF THE BODY WERE INJURED)<br />
Body part 1: BRAIN, NERVOUS SYSTEM, GASTROINTESTINAL<br />
Body part 2: BILATERAL UPPER EXTREMITIES<br />
Body part 3: CERVICAL SPINE, THORACIC SPINE, LUMBAR SPINE, COCCYX<br />
Body part 4: BILATERAL LOWER EXTREMITIES (DISTAL AND PROXIMAL JOINTS)<br />
Other body parts(attach additional sheets if required): LIBIDO AND GENITO URINARY, INCONTINENCE, COPD symptoms.<br />
<br />
THE INJURY OCCURRED AS FOLLOWS:<br />
(Explain what the worker was doing at the time of injury and how the injury occurred)<br />
Employee was working in excess of 100 hours per week.<br />
Corporation ethos created an intense competitive atmosphere where KILLBOARD leaders were lauded and where those lagging statistically were subjected to ridicule and ostracized.<br />
The orthopedic component arose from constant handling and manipulating of space vessel controls and buttons, hangar work, guard duty, cleaning of quarters with toothbrushes, and babysitting the bastard children of Miura Bull.<br />
Stress component is attributed to hostile work environment and exhaustion due to relentless and unmitigated pressure to propel SKRMR to the top of the BATTLECLINIC rankings.<br />
The corporation is currently ranked 4th in all of NEW EDEN and this position is NOT acceptable to the current Screaming Hayabusa management team which has stated publicly that they will reach number 1 or all will die trying!<br />
Numerous CTA's were scheduled with little or no rest periods provided between events.<br />
In particular the "FEED BEBBY" campaign proved particularly damaging to employee.<br />
A stream of young "top gun" types were recruited by Miura Bull to "motivate" the existing membership.<br />
These young hotshots were prone to verbally abusing Lhorenzho and mocking his monthly production.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ACTUAL EARNINGS AT TIME OF INJURY:<br />
Rate of pay$ NOT APPLICABLE:<br />
Pay structure designated as " Piece work" - Pilots were required to be "self sufficient" which translated into you will need to scratch out a living. Membership ostensibly toiled for the glory of MIURA BULL .<br />
(circle one) monthly, weekly, hourly: N/A<br />
<br />
THE INJURY CAUSED DISABILITY AS FOLLOWS:<br />
Last day off work due to injury: 02/27/2014 (Old earth calender designations used)<br />
Period of disability: Employee has NOT been released to return to work.<br />
Physician examinations pending (various specialists as medical condition dictates)<br />
COMPENSATION:<br />
Compensation was paid : Yes____ No: x___<br />
total paid: 0<br />
weekly rate(s) : 0 Date of last payment: N/A<br />
<br />
MEDICAL TREATMENT:<br />
furnished by employer:<br />
yes: no: x<br />
name of medical provider or facility: Not provided by employer<br />
OTHER CASES: Numerous companion cases are pending.<br />
In addition there is a serious and willful component that will be addressed by the venue of jurisdiction.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
THIS APPLICATION IS FILED BECAUSE OF A DISAGREEMENT REGARDING LIABILITY FOR:<br />
Temporary Disability___x_ Permanent disaxbility__x___ Medical expenses___x___<br />
Rehabilitation__x__ Medical treatment___x___<br />
IS THE APPLICANT REPRESENTED: YES___x_ NO ______<br />
LAW FIRM: Derpantsoff, Thompson, Mendoza, Salazar, Chang, & Hill<br />
Law firm bar number: 42578A - 236<br />
Attorney: Susan Derpantsoff<br />
Address: Heild X - Moon 1 - Pator Tech School<br />
<br />
Addendum 1A:<br />
Please note the following: The basis for the Serious and Willful component: Additional documentation will be provided pending discovery.<br />
This is but a single representative sample.<br />
<br />
[18:17:43] Lhorenzho > the carpal tunnel will be added to the work comp case so i wouldnt be too celebratory if i were you<br />
[18:18:01] Miura Bull > ahh<br />
[18:18:06] Miura Bull > I have a special file for those<br />
[18:18:14] Miura Bull > it's called the trash can<br />
[18:18:18] Miura Bull > Tongue<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
Dear Susan,<br />
Here is some additional documentation that may assist you as you prepare my comp case for trial.<br />
There will be a trial no doubt as I do not see the obstinate BULL agreeing to an equitable settlement.<br />
As you can see even his own right hand man SAINT VOODOO acknowledges that he is jeopardizing my health and the health of the membership in general.<br />
You like the way I got Da BULL to date stamp the communication by tricking him into giving the date?<br />
Like stealing candy from a brutish baby...hee hee.<br />
I think we have a slam dunk case don't you.<br />
See you at the mixer tonight?<br />
There are some other issues I need to discuss with you to include the tactics you might want to consider when you depose that weirdo creep SAINT VOODOO.<br />
Later dear.<br />
Appreciate all your legal help.<br />
<br />
sincerely,<br />
Lho<br />
<br />
P.S. Let's go for a minimum of 70% permanent disability ok? Make sure we get the right mix of liberal doctors that will ensure that level of PD. I need a life pension.<br />
P.P.S. - Fuck that "light duty" option too. Make sure my doctors depict me as a rehab candidate who must be retrained to do another line of work other than this CAPSULEER SHIT!!<br />
Git er done SUE!<br />
<br />
cc - transcript<br />
[15:42:33] Lhorenzho > im here for 24 hours straight if need be today. I know thats what you ordered.<br />
<br />
[15:43:08] Saint Voodoo > make sure you take your allotted breaks<br />
[15:44:41] Lhorenzho > fucking kestrel slipped away.<br />
[15:44:47] Lhorenzho > dammit<br />
[15:45:06] Lhorenzho > no time for breaks.<br />
[15:45:42] Lhorenzho > you are only grandstanding for the appeals board that will hear my comp case.........<br />
[15:45:52] Lhorenzho > i warned you i was filing<br />
[15:46:17] Lhorenzho > and now the continuing trauma only enhances my utlimate permanent disability level............you gonna pay boy<br />
[15:46:19] Miura Bull > lol<br />
[15:47:52] Lhorenzho > you are continually egging me on to pass DILIUM...................<br />
[15:47:59] Lhorenzho > the relentless push push push<br />
[15:49:02] Lhorenzho > i should say.......to keep ahead of DIL<br />
[15:49:09] Lhorenzho > as he is still eating my dust..........<br />
[15:49:18] Saint Voodoo > yah<br />
[15:49:27] Lhorenzho > you agree Voodoo?<br />
[15:49:41] Lhorenzho > that i am being pushed unmercifully?<br />
[15:49:46] Saint Voodoo > oh yes<br />
[15:49:56] Lhorenzho > with not regard for my health.<br />
<br />
[15:50:31] Lhorenzho > thank you. I always pegged you as a sharp one. I dont think you are weird and creepy like some of the other fellas always say<br />
[15:51:03] Lhorenzho > the BULL pushes you too............I know<br />
[15:51:19] Lhorenzho > *slips Voodoo card of attorney<br />
[15:51:53] Lhorenzho > whats the date today again?<br />
[15:52:09] Lhorenzho > February has short day amount right?<br />
[15:52:35] Miura Bull > 28th yeah last day<br />
<br />
[15:52:53] Lhorenzho > Voodoo would you be willing to take a deposition?<br />
[15:53:05] Saint Voodoo > hahha<br />
[15:53:10] Lhorenzho > TY for that BULL.<br />
[15:53:18] Lhorenzho > i am being serious son.<br />
[15:53:45] Lhorenzho > the BULL cannot fire you for giving true honest testimony in a work comp case<br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2014/03/drama-unfolding-in-gulmo.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2014-03-02T10:46:00-08:00">10:46 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="reaction-buttons"></span> <span class="star-ratings"></span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2014/03/drama-unfolding-in-gulmo.html#comment-form"> 1 comment: </a> </span> <span class="post-backlinks post-comment-link"></span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=7394882053387275464" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140603195117im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-86376447455211924652014-08-11T12:46:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:46:24.381-07:00SING SINDEL SING!!!!<br />
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Sunday, November 24, 2013</h2>
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Re: Lhorenzho<br />
From: Tambo Reen<br />
Sent: 2013.11.24 19:47<br />
To: Sindel Pellion, <br />
<br />
Dear Ms. Pellion,<br />
Please note the following.<br />
http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/<br />
<br />
It pretty much speaks for itself.<br />
<br />
The context will no doubt paint me as a roque and disloyal employee.<br />
<br />
My ongoing disputes with my long time employer are really of a secondary nature and that scenario will eventually play itself out one way or the other, most likely with me in custody along with certain other co-conspirators.<br />
It is what is is as the saying goes.<br />
<br />
I would hope that you put any feelings of distaste and revulsion aside and finish reading this correspondence.<br />
<br />
Some quick background information.<br />
<br />
You are one of three beauties that my employer LHORENZHO has fixated on at one time or another during his long career.<br />
(Ava Starfire, Sugar Kyle, and yourself)<br />
<br />
You were his delectable trifecta.<br />
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Please do not take offense as he always used it as a term of endearment and always with a smile on his face and a gleam in his eye and sometimes even with some actual tumescence in his member. (he is an old man after all)<br />
<br />
Let me cut to the chase Ms. Pellion as I know you are a busy young woman, what with your singing career and charitable works and pirating activities.<br />
<br />
My employer, who was once a member of the WAFFLES as well (he was purged but on trumped up charges), is nearing the end of his life cycle.<br />
<br />
It has been a gloriously successful career from a business perspective and he has also managed to get himself to -10, an objective which always brought him great pleasure and pride.<br />
He loved playing the pirate although truth be told he was in actuality a business savant and his accounts are a clear testament to his proficiency as a tycoon and industry titan.<br />
<br />
The man does have beaucoup bucks.<br />
<br />
But he has also always been an incorrigible romantic.<br />
He believed as Shakepeare once proclaimed.....<b>"She is woman and therefore to be won".</b><br />
He does love the ladies, especially his elite trinity, in particular his lttle songbird Sindel.<br />
<br />
He has spent many an evening sipping his rare Jovian brandy, smoking his New cuban cigar clones, snorting primo cocaine, and playing your songs over and over on his music device often times falling asleep with your angelic voice resonating throughout his quarters as a sublime bedtime lullaby of sorts.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://soundcloud.com/sindel-pellion">http://soundcloud.com/sindel-pellion</a><br />
<br />
QUE MUSICA TAN LINDA! he would often bellow as he nodded his head and swayed to the tunes of your enchanting songs.<br />
(His first language was actually spanish)<br />
<br />
God how he loved your singing.<br />
<br />
He adored you from afar (well he once made his way to your quarters while inebriated but dropped his lock pick set and aborted his mission)<br />
<br />
I am sorry for slipping up and speaking of him in the past tense but his physicians have told me it is a mere matter of day before he succumbs to his numerous pathology(s).<br />
<br />
Yes I have my issues with him but I also am a diligent employee who is determined to see his last wishes fulfilled.<br />
<br />
<b>Please sing him a song!</b><br />
<br />
It does not have to be at his funeral although that would be nice.<br />
Croon for him my young starling.<br />
Warble till you can warble no more.<br />
<br />
I have no doubt that he would also see fit to leave your Angel Project a sizeable donation.<br />
As I alluded up above, he is very wealthy.<br />
<br />
I know you have recently written about scammers who have seen fit to take advantage of your kind heart and generous spirit but I assure you I am not one inclined to do so nor is my employer Lhorenzho guilty of such proclivities.<br />
<br />
There are many who would vouch for his legitimacy.<br />
Yes he was/is eccentric but are not most unique personas cut from a slightly different cloth?<br />
You can talk to Miura Bull or others in the Black Rebel Rifter club or screaming Hayabusas for more specific references about this gentleman. They will tell you truthfully what he is about.<br />
<br />
<b>Sing for him Sindell!!!</b><br />
<br />
Thats all he asks.<br />
<br />
I await anxiously your response which I am confident will be a resounding YES as he has always been a great judge of people and beautiful women.<br />
His last actual communication to me via a painfully long sequence of morse code transmitted by blinking of his eyes was this.....<br />
<br />
<b>"SINDEL will Sing!"</b><br />
<br />
Cordially,<br />
Tambo Reen - Asset management group - Lhorenzho enterprises <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/11/sing-sindel-sing.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-11-24T12:05:00-08:00">12:05 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/11/sing-sindel-sing.html#comment-form"> No comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=8365706641712295222" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1703096760"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=8365706641712295222&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="18" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911im_/http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> <br />
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-12888107209078650052014-08-11T12:46:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:46:01.440-07:00THE USUAL SUSPECTS or PILLOW TALK<br />
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Saturday, November 23, 2013</h2>
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<b><br /></b> <b><br /></b> <b><br /></b> <b>CONCORDE INVESTIGATIVE FOLIO</b><br />
<b>Case #21354 - A356 - 873</b><br />
<i>Molden Heath sector:</i><br />
<br />
To all officers assigned to this matter: JOHNSON, CASAS, BELL, SMITH.<br />
Attached are several communications that have recently come to light and are the basis and precipitating factors leading to this investigation.<br />
Please read them as soon as possible in order to garner some background information on the case.<br />
This investigation is priority one according to Captain Salinas.<br />
We are also in the process of instituting a series of surveillance operations targeting the individuals involved.<br />
<b>Tambo Reen</b> resides and conducts business in Jita with an occasional presence in Amarr and Dodixie.<br />
This individual is an asset handler and trader of goods and supplies.<br />
<br />
<b>Miura Bull</b> is a space transient of sorts and will have to be located by our agents prior to any specific action being taken.<br />
Both will be brought in for questioning as soon as the investigative groundwork is laid.<br />
Arrest warrants are in the works.<br />
A <b>Vincent R'Lyeh </b>is also under suspicion and a dossier is being compiled on him as well.<br />
The name <b>Kane the Black</b> is also cropping up and detective Casas is researching that suspect.<br />
<br />
We are also in cooperation with the medical facility and are coordinating an increase in security in and around the hospital room where the target is currently convalescing.<br />
<br />
The letters below speak for themselves.<br />
<br />
The target Lhorenzho is currently in an intensive care unit in a quasi vegetative state following an attempt to take his own life subsequent to a devastating loss of a LOKI ship to a little tiny FIRETAIL frigate.<br />
<br />
Here are the incident reports of those losses:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://skrmr.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=20588193">http://skrmr.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=20588193</a><br />
<b><br /></b> <b><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://skrmr.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=20588192">http://skrmr.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=20588192</a></b><br />
<br />
Some kid named Transmaritanus cleaned his clock!! LOL!<br />
<br />
Its been a long time since I have flown a ship in combat myself but even I have to say this was pretty pathetic.<br />
I may have been inclined to slit my own wrists as well if I had been so careless and inept! JK!!<br />
There will be a meeting of the team after lunch today in squad assembly room 118C.<br />
<br />
Lead Detective: Silas Thompson<br />
<br />
cc - Captain William Salinas - precinct chief<br />
cc - Pator Tech Medical center administration<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
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From: Tambo Reen</div>
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Sent: 2013.11.24 00:26</div>
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To: Miura Bull, </div>
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<br />
Bull,<br />
As a post script to my earlier letter please be aware that I personally would not include you in ANY communication loop involving these matters if that decision was left to me.<br />
<br />
I don't like you mister. I never have.<br />
<br />
But, my orders were to spam the "rolodex" so to speak with the news contained in my earlier memorandum involving the breakdown of my employer.<br />
<br />
Your name is on that rolodex and thus you were advised of the developments.<br />
Left to my own devices I would keep your fucking brutor ass in the dark!<br />
<br />
While Lhorenzho is alive and kicking and manages to evade the BIOMASS center I will comply with his wishes, conflicted, crazed, and confused as they may be.<br />
<br />
The consolidation of assets that I referenced in my earlier communication continues.<br />
<br />
He is under a physician's care at the moment, and is said to be "heavily medicated" ostensibly for his own good.<br />
According to his primary care provider he has also been in restraints as he has made two attempts to climb into the BIOMASS chamber. (The mini chamber that was set up in Pator Tech station by Lhorenzho to make his rivals "go away")<br />
<br />
Only the BIOMASS protocols requiring the simultaneous pressing of the "KILL" button by two distinct state agents prevented his crazy wrinkled old ass from being liquidated.<br />
He enlisted the help of someone named <b>"VINNY</b>" who was willing to assist him but the plan was a fiasco and was foiled.<br />
<br />
Clearly his intent is to harm himself.<br />
(update: He is now in a coma after taking an overdose of pills provided by one <b>KANE THE BLACK. </b>)<br />
The hospital staff is playing a running loop of his favorite depressing melancholy tunes to keep his mind engaged in hopes he will snap out of his coma.<br />
Bunch of crap if you ask me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEMLGmQjLRY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEMLGmQjLRY</a></b><br />
<b><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdw7kxD8eUc">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdw7kxD8eUc</a></b><br />
<b><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc_oLZuFwaI">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jc_oLZuFwaI</a></b><br />
<b><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmztcX_BtI">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmztcX_BtI </a></b><br />
<br />
Truth be told I am ambivalent regarding how he goes to meet his maker as he has never been unduly solicitous of my feelings nor has he ever troubled himself to find out what my thoughts and ideas were regarding how he operated his business enterprises.<br />
<br />
I was a mere clerk to him despite my advanced degrees in statistics, finance and business management.<br />
<br />
<br />
Clearly, my own self interests are at play here as I do NOT want to be out in the job market seeking new employment should the old codger manage to eradicate himself and certainly not with empty pockets to show for my efforts and years of service.<br />
<br />
I am told that in his medicated stupor and prior to sinking into a comatose state that he had been screaming out the names of Ava Starfire, Sugar Kyle, and Sindel Pellion. (not necessarily in that order)<br />
<br />
Pellion is presumably also some kind of recording star and he babbled something about having her "sing" at his funeral.<br />
<br />
He has also asked that his attorney be summoned and I suspect that some kind of adjustment to his last will and testament to provide some consideration to one or all of these women may be in the works.<br />
<br />
Pellion also coordinates some form of New Eden NOOB contribution/donation center and I fear he may leave the bulk of his estate to this organization!<br />
<br />
<b><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/https://gate.eveonline.com/Profile/The%20Angel%20Project">https://gate.eveonline.com/Profile/The%20Angel%20Project</a></b><br />
<br />
Lets hope not right BULL?<br />
<br />
Would that he had been so generous with me back when he was still in possession of all his faculties.<br />
<br />
I gave that man too much of my time and energy to walk away from this drama empty handed!!<br />
I aim to get paid!<br />
<br />
You yourself have had to put up with his incessant insubordination as well right?<br />
I know what a thorn in your side he has been.<br />
<br />
<b>Your little "tell him we care" letter below fools no one!</b><br />
I know you despise his ass as much as I do if not more.<br />
<br />
Since you are now in the loop, you are inextricably involved.<br />
<br />
It is not too late to make him pay.<br />
Are you hearing me?<br />
<br />
It is in your best interests to collaborate with me in whatever scheme I may cook up to assure that we are "taken care of" wouldn't you agree?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't you love to walk away from this whole ridiculous self -absorbed sordid breakdown of his with some significant financial gain?<br />
I know I would.<br />
<br />
I will be contacting you again in the very near future with more specifics.<br />
<br />
At this moment our immediate problem is that our potential benefactor may actually improve and survive this latest incident.<br />
We have to walk a fine line here.<br />
We have to keep him incapacitated for a while longer.<br />
<br />
He is quite frail now though and when the time comes, a quick "pillow over the head" maneuver by some enterprising visitor to his hospital suite could prove to be the catalyst to a "windfall" for certain interested parties. No?<br />
I trust that you will be able to handle that chore when the time comes.<br />
<br />
Food for thought.<br />
But, nothing must happen until all the pieces are in place.<br />
NOTHING! You understand?<br />
<br />
You may be in the process of cooking up your own "end game" scenario and I do NOT want our collective objectives to clash.<br />
That is why I risk sending you these notes. Make sure you destroy them. Don't be stupid and careless BULL.<br />
Also, we might want to come up with some contingency plans to deal with R'Lyeh and Kane.<br />
Loose ends you know.<br />
Some Molden Heath flatfoot has already contacted me so we have to act fast.<br />
<br />
We have common interests.<br />
Why not work together?<br />
We could be set for life if we play this out right.<br />
<br />
I have said too much.<br />
We will talk soon BULL.<br />
<br />
Tambo Reen - Asset management group - Lhorenzho Enterprises.<br />
<br />
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
Re: ?<br />
From: Miura Bull<br />
Sent: 2013.11.23 01:10<br />
To: Tambo Reen, <br />
<br />
oh.<br />
<br />
you can tell your boss that is very much appreciated but we hope for his return ingame shortly, with his fortune still in his own pockets!<br />
<br />
please tell him :)<br />
<br />
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
?<br />
From: Tambo Reen<br />
Sent: 2013.11.23 00:26<br />
To: Miura Bull, <br />
<br />
Dear Bull,<br />
I don't know what you did but I am glad you did it.<br />
I assume you had something to do with this turn of events. Perhaps a "mercenary type" hired by you to create turmoil in Lhorenzho's life.<br />
If you were not responsible, then I will just have to thank the space GOD's for this providential turn of events.<br />
<br />
My prayers have been answered in any event and It appears also that my days of suffering for 20 hours a day at the trade console are over.<br />
<br />
My boss has just sent me a cryptic memorandum advising me that I am to cancel all pending trades and consolidate accounts.<br />
<br />
I am to provide a complete inventory of all assets in ALL systems, both physical and otherwise and submit a detailed report to his main office asap.<br />
<br />
I am directed to call the nearest BIO-MASS center and make an immediate appointment for him and I have been advised that his attorney is preparing documents to transfer his entire estate to you BULL.<br />
<br />
I of course am wondering why the hell he would leave one stinking ISK to your fucking ass but evidently you have made some kind of impression on the old fool.<br />
<br />
Preliminarily, the total assets would appear to be in the area of 130 Billion ISK, not counting another 15 Billion still tied up in orders.<br />
There are others in his employ which are completely unknown to you who also have significant portions of his asset basis under their control. I am to contact them as well.<br />
The final asset tally could very well be twice the numbers noted above.<br />
<br />
It is somewhat of a mystery to his staff here as to what may have transpired to cause this sudden bout of melancholy and emotionalism but rumors have it he was recently humiliated in the area of Gulmorogod and that the humiliating incident was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.<br />
The word is that he had his hat handed to him while flying his LOKI by a young capsuleer tooling around in a tiny Firetail.<br />
It figures.<br />
He was never a very good pilot.<br />
Hell we all know he sucked.<br />
<br />
I told him time and time again to stay out of the heavily traversed space lanes and concentrate his efforts on popping CYNO ships and to do so only in sparsely populated systems.<br />
Frankly, we all know thats all that old coot is/was good for but lots of luck getting that megalomaniac to accept that reality.<br />
Did he listen to me.<br />
<br />
Of course not.<br />
Now the BIOMASS center awaits.<br />
<br />
He always was one for grandiose actions that were premised on assumptions about his capabilities that were delusional at best.<br />
He was a crazy old loon for sure but he had his moments.<br />
<br />
I cannot say it was ALL bad.<br />
He could be generous but he was also one bossy motherfucker.<br />
It may be all over now.<br />
I am sending you this only because I have been ordered to do so by one of his other administrative operatives.<br />
We await clarifiying information and will relay it to you once it arrives but things are looking grim.<br />
<br />
The end may be near.<br />
<br />
<br />
Tambo Reen - Asset management group - Lhorenzho enterprises.<br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-usual-suspects-or-pillow-talk.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-11-23T11:47:00-08:00">11:47 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-usual-suspects-or-pillow-talk.html#comment-form"> 4 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=8605043242087344488" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214061911im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-40992980514367112452014-08-11T12:45:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:45:04.215-07:00SOMER BLINK STUFF <h2 class="date-header">
<span>Saturday, November 2, 2013</span></h2>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My fucking wrists!!!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ok.</span></div>
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THIS IS SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT!</div>
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I bought 32 GTC's today from these people for shits and giggles</div>
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This purchase, according to the SOMER BLINK site, also entitled me to 32 billion in some kind of bullshit credit plus an additional 8 billion since I had 8 multiples of 4 GTC's purchased. </div>
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You get an extra billion for every 4 added to the base 1 billion bonus you get with every fucking GTC you buy. </div>
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So in essence I got 64 PLEX and about 40 billion in their credit. </div>
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CHUMP CHANGE! </div>
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But this is only a first test.</div>
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Right now my worthless trading alt is sitting on those first PLEX purchases in some JITA station. </div>
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Lord knows what he will be able to do with it. </div>
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I will worry about that later.</div>
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To anyone who is gonna call me names such as WALLET WARRIOR go ahead.</div>
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I won't deny it.</div>
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I am the consumnate "WALLET WARRIOR". </div>
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I won't do ANY work in NEW EDEN.</div>
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Fuck that shit. </div>
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I had a job in RL and am now retired. </div>
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I will be damned if I am going to grind doing ANYTHING in NEW EDEN.</div>
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I don't grind for anybody! </div>
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Well, maybe the old lady.</div>
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Since I fund my playing with PLEX, I figured I would just use these beleagured SOMER people for my next purchases if only to test them out and see what I have been missing all these years. </div>
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The jury is still out.</div>
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Now its a known fact that some of my corpmates and former corpmates have in the past utilized the whole SOMER BLINK process to fund their accounts. </div>
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Read this blog post from my former REBEL associate, the sometimes brilliant and occasionally clever Kaeda Maxwell. </div>
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http://kaedamaxwell.blogspot.com/</div>
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I have no illusions of doing anything as complex and intricate as his process. </div>
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I just want ISK and I want it fast and as easy as possible. </div>
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I don't have the patience of that damn BEAN COUNTER MAXWELL to see all that stuff through. </div>
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I got better things to do with my time.</div>
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I used the MARKEE DRAGON affiliate link and purchased the GTC's. </div>
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To be honest, even this process, involving out of game actions was irksome.</div>
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Who works out these processes? </div>
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Do you know how long it took me to enter ALL 32 codes into the ETC redemption system in game?</div>
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There has got to be a better way for VOLUME GTC buyers to input their codes.</div>
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This is a fucking MICKEY MOUSE system for sure.</div>
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I always BUY VOLUME!!! </div>
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Easier that way. </div>
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I HATE COMPLEXITIES!</div>
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Even as I write this quick post, I am experiencing ambivalence as to whether or not to go ahead with the next part of my test. </div>
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My intention was to roll out with my real purchase in the next day or so, once this first test was deemed a success.</div>
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I hope to pick up another 148 GTC's (is that divisible by 4?) but If I have to enter EACH AND EVERYONE of those fucking long ass silly codes manually I can almost guarantee my old carpal tunnel syndrome is gonna flare up. </div>
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Another year of arm slings, wrist braces and anti-inflammatories! </div>
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FUCK THAT SHIT!</div>
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Been there done that.</div>
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If anyone has any ideas as to how I can streamline this process please let me know. </div>
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Also, any hints as to how I should handle the BLINK auction process would also be appreciated. </div>
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Should I buy large ships, frigs, cruiser, what? </div>
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I will be trying to use the BUY ALL TICKETS approach if possible.</div>
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Any of you fuckers who have been pathetically addicted to this shit and who are adept at maneuvering around on that BLINK site and can pass me some quick pointers please do so. </div>
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I may put you in my will.</div>
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214035535/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span style="color: #3778cd;"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </span></a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214035535/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/11/somer-blink-stuff.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-11-02T13:05:00-07:00"><span style="color: #3778cd;">1:05 PM</span></abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"></span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214035535/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=6992531536248369236" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214035535im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /><span style="color: #3778cd;"> </span></a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-83865965679156430362014-08-11T12:43:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:43:08.798-07:00WHY I LAWYERED UP! or Blurred Lines<br />
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Sunday, October 27, 2013</h2>
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<br />
Recently, my CEO released for public consumption and without my expressed permission, details regarding a personal squabble we are having over one of his latest pronouncements.<br />
<br />
That release can be found here: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-uniform-rift-part-iii-enter-dragon.html">http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-uniform-rift-part-iii-enter-dragon.html</a><br />
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He also included a letter from my attorney.<br />
He should have left well enough alone.<br />
We could have settled quietly and amicably out of court and out of the public eye. (probably in the 9 figure range)<br />
He will pay for that blunder later.<br />
Trust me on that.<br />
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In any event, as a result of this ill advised action by my CEO, I found myself the target of significant acrimony from fellow capsuleers.<br />
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGwRffy1EpnrmQnLM_qrDXrPM0RMhleYKo_1zOW-yBxBboNxYCvfldrIsO9Dc_vRZhdpmpnB7IZPMe3ouR8vNWL89otvXVOwnRGM7lgViamsfmFS3Q3Iu4Yw8WsBOpN7f7bkfPuQ5MtIw/s1600/mob.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGwRffy1EpnrmQnLM_qrDXrPM0RMhleYKo_1zOW-yBxBboNxYCvfldrIsO9Dc_vRZhdpmpnB7IZPMe3ouR8vNWL89otvXVOwnRGM7lgViamsfmFS3Q3Iu4Yw8WsBOpN7f7bkfPuQ5MtIw/s1600/mob.png" /></a></div>
<br />
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I recieved numerous detailed and somewhat creative death threats (what is a Bolo strangulation device?) and had my favorite Sleipnir "keyed" by some cowardly knave. (It was uninsured as I had a "non op" on the damn thing as I was waiting to reconfigure the fitting due to recent command ship changes!)<br />
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I also recieved several bags of nasty hate mail chastizing me for retaining legal counsel.<br />
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Why Lhorenzho, I was asked, are you so litigious?<br />
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<b>WHY DID I LAWYER UP?</b><br />
Many letters opened with that question.<br />
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WHY?<br />
<br />
I will explain shortly.<br />
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You want to know why I smirk when I hear young pirates talking about their ships?<br />
<br />
Why do I smile and shake my head when they talk about their struggles to "maintain range" or fret anxiously over whether they should be fitting "rails or artillery" or whether its worth it to "switch ammo mid fight" or anguish on the fine points of theory crafting as they go into excruciating detail regarding their EFT sessions as they strive heroically to "optimize" their fits?<br />
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Why do I glaze over when the topics of capacitor warfare or buying implants or augmentations or obtaining jump clones crop up?<br />
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Why am I indifferent to the lamentations and angst riddled diatribes of these young pups as they torment themselves over issues of prop mods or whether they should shield or armor tank or speed tank.<br />
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Why?<br />
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Is it because I am a heartless, uncaring, unfeeling bastard who is immune to the suffering and worries of others?<br />
No. I care deeply about people.<br />
<br />
I maintain this attitude because I know its ALL BULLSHIT!<br />
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<b>WHY DID I LAWYER UP? </b><br />
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Most of the young pilots I deal with on a daily basis haven't a clue where the real power in the Universe resides.<br />
"No tienen bastante mundo" as my favorite uncle Fernando used to say. (They need more real life seasoning in essence)<br />
<br />
Forget the fucking capital ships (you want me to train how long for a titan?) and let slip from memory the "awe inspiring" sight of 4000 ship fleets and forget the off grid boosting and links and all those other trifles.<br />
All show and little substance.<br />
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Time dilation? Who gives a fuck?<br />
Station trading. Planetary interaction?<br />
BORING!!!<br />
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Do it if you want.<br />
I won't look down my nose at you.<br />
But dont tell me they are means to real power in NEW EDEN.<br />
<br />
How about massive aerial fortresses and planetary bombardment?<br />
Is that a source of power in your eyes?<br />
<br />
<b>WHY DID I LAWYER UP?</b> Think about it carefully for a moment.<br />
<br />
WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE DOOMSDAY WEAPON IN NEW EDEN?<br />
That is my question to you.<br />
It's not what you think.<br />
I have already given you plenty of hints young people.<br />
<br />
The answer is simple really.<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">IT IS HAVING A GREAT FUCKING LAWYER ON RETAINER!!!!</span></b><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></b> <br />
That's right! A capable, remorselessly aggressive, and relentlessly dedicated IVY LEAGUE LAWYER is where the real power lies.<br />
MI ABOGADO CABRONES!!! MI LICENCIADO!<br />
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You fuck with me or mine what do you think I'm gonna do?<br />
I won't raise an eyebrow.<br />
I won't use harsh language against you.<br />
There will probably be no discernible outward sign that I am even reacting to your actions.<br />
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I am not going to jump into my rifter or loki or Enyo and go chasing after you like some crazed emotional lunatic?<br />
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Certainly not.<br />
I am a busy man.<br />
I am a man who is measured in his responses.<br />
I am a logical man.<br />
I know whats up and like "The wolf" in PULP FICTION, the facilitator, I know how to get things done.<br />
<br />
No. There will be no histrionics.<br />
What I am going to do in response to your indiscretion(s) is noncholantly pick up my personal communication device and speed dial my highly paid ATTORNEY. (Her short BIO is provided below)<br />
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ONE FUCKING CALL!<br />
I will not work up a sweat prepping a ship for action.<br />
Hell it's hot,muggy and dirty down in those greasy hangars and I have seen big rats down there.<br />
My hands are manicured for crying out loud!<br />
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<br />
<br />
I make one fucking call.<br />
I give my "COUNSELOR" a name and then I go back to sipping my white gold Jeroboam champagne, eating my Alba truffles and nibbling on the ear of my latest love interest as we rest our slipper clad feet on my 600 pound pet siberian tiger clone.<br />
Sometimes we even munch on the dreams of the poor.<br />
Did I say that out loud? I was just kidding.<br />
<br />
But enough prefatory material.<br />
<br />
Let's go into detail as to how conflict with me and my arsenal of attorneys might play out.<br />
<br />
You are easy targets to be frank.<br />
You do not want to be in my legal crosshairs.<br />
<br />
You are like the lumbering elephant in the bush.<br />
Dangerous to the unitiated.<br />
The source of decorative Ivory to the keen and resourceful.<br />
<br />
Most of you have left a trail of chaos as you have gone about your business.<br />
It's in your nature.<br />
Many of you have fathered a snootfull of illegitimate children, have stiffed landlords, friends and retailers, have been involved in public brawls resulting in damaged property, have dealt in the sale and distribution of controlled substances, have embezzled funds, violated probation, committed assaults and rapes, have perpetrated burglaries and other assorted breaking and entering infractions, and most of you have bounties on your heads.<br />
And for good reason.<br />
<br />
You have been very bad bunnies.<br />
You have skeletons in your closets.<br />
You have soft vulnerable underbellies and I have a sharp lawyer.<br />
In essence I can exploit you and I will.<br />
<br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As Dickens said......"If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers".</span></b></i><br />
<br />
Our conflict won't be like any you have ever had.<br />
I warn you now.<br />
<br />
I won't lock you up with my 425's.<br />
I will tie you up in court for years instead.<br />
You think your latest squeeze will stand by until your case is on docket?<br />
I doubt it.<br />
<br />
I will haul you constantly into court to show cause and woe unto you if you "fail to appear".<br />
<br />
Who needs drones?<br />
I will get a swarm of injunctions against you.<br />
<br />
A NOS? Nope. Not needed.<br />
I will get your wages garnished and have your credit cards cancelled.<br />
Now that is leeching.<br />
<br />
Your years of accumulated child support payments in arrears will suddenly become due in toto.<br />
It will be painful like when your market order tanks.<br />
<br />
I will have audits, citations and bench warrants issued.<br />
No CLOAK in the universe can help you hide.<br />
<br />
I will petition the court to order mandatory arbitration hearings on each and every issue extant.<br />
There is not a propulsion mod fabricated that can speed you away from that shit.<br />
<br />
I won't need to put a "web" on your ass.<br />
I will have your assets frozen and impounded.<br />
Talk about financial immobilization.<br />
<br />
Who needs a fucking Neut?<br />
I will have liens filed on your ships, homes, hovels, hangar inventory and personal property.<br />
How's that for starters? Do you feel neutralized?<br />
<br />
I will break you so badly that you will have to ask the court for the right to file response documents to me in "forma pauperis!"<br />
<br />
I will have your tax refunds offset.<br />
Like a skill point hit when you lost a tech III.<br />
Remember how that hurt?<br />
<br />
I will alert the NEW INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE Units to put you on their watch list.<br />
Now that is scanning at its best.<br />
<br />
I will get mutliple default judgements against you and will subject you to painful time consuming depositions and gruelling cross examinations.<br />
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<br />
<br />
No hiding in your captain's quarters!<br />
Court is NOW in session punks!<br />
<br />
I will have my legal beagles ask for forced conservatorships and subject you to court ordered genetic testing.<br />
Here comes another needle!!<br />
<br />
I will have your flight privileges quashed and have your pilot licenses revoked.<br />
Better buy some new walking shoes little one. Better get two pair.<br />
<br />
Once financially broken, you will be subjected to countless debtors examinations and a series of hidden inventory forensic financial audits will be utilized to ensure that no asset has escaped our grasp.<br />
Bend over!<br />
<br />
And that is only the beginning.<br />
You cannot flee from me.<br />
There is no going "off grid" when dealing with my legal sharks.<br />
Have you ever heard the term...."Long arm jurisdiction"?<br />
<br />
You cannot avoid the reach of my legal minions.<br />
They are paid well and are eager to please.<br />
Money can buy such zealotry!<br />
The pen is indeed mightier than the autocannon.<br />
<br />
This is one fucking PvP enounter you will never forget my young friends.<br />
<br />
A GOOD LAWYER.<br />
<br />
NOW THAT IS POWER!<br />
I don't need PYFA to tell me that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Also:<br />
SCREAMING HAYABUSAS<br />
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<br />
One last point. I want to dispel any notion that my criticisms above about pilots in new eden in general apply to my corporate brothers in SKRMR.<br />
Listen, I am proud to be a member of the HAYABUSAS.<br />
Lets not have any misunderstanding about that particular point.<br />
I would put that bunch up against ANY fucking corporation in this sector of our universe any time.<br />
Hell "pound for pound" they are without doubt the baddest collection of pilots around.<br />
New Eden statistics bear out the accuracy of this assertion.<br />
Truth be told I would consider myself to be the weak link in that fearsome chain of killers at least when talking about traditional piloting skills.<br />
<br />
Crake, Nog, DeathtoU, Reciprocat, Tooth, Blacktrax, Ash, Dong,Vinny and even that fucking nemesis of mine, Miura Bull can bring formidable piloting skills to the table.<br />
But, while I may not be blessed with the arsenal of piloting skills that these fellows possess I can certainly bring other virtues that can be equally potent and effective.<br />
The narrative above has already discussed my "other attributes" and I will leave it at that.<br />
<br />
Finally:<br />
A little bit of data on my lead attorney:<br />
Susan Derpantsoff<br />
Bio.<br />
Graduated Magna cum laude Columbia University 23338<br />
Harvard Law School graduated Magna Cum Laude 23341<br />
Editor and president of the law review and voted Gannett house sweetheart.<br />
Clerked for the honorable Judge Sarn (before his disbarrment)<br />
Associate attorney for the firm of Prescott, Floom, Fisher, & Dayne<br />
Senior partner Derpantsoff, Thompson, Mendoza, Salazar, Chang, & Hill<br />
<br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/10/why-i-lawyered-up-or-blurred-lines.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-10-27T13:50:00-07:00">1:50 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/10/why-i-lawyered-up-or-blurred-lines.html#comment-form"> 3 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=4152338713711308188" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-32996451731052573692014-08-11T12:42:00.002-07:002014-08-11T12:42:47.316-07:00Sugar and Spice or "WHERE IS ME POT O GOLD?"<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Tuesday, September 17, 2013</h2>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
Exhibit SK1:<br />
<br />
<br />
A Woman Like this you have Never Seen<br />
From: Sugar Kyle<br />
Sent: 2013.09.17 18:56<br />
To: Lhorenzho, <br />
Sir,<br />
It has come to my attention that you seek communication with me. With this request a host of letters were given to me. I can say but that I was <br />
surprised and a bit puzzled by them and as I leafed through them I placed them to the side. If it were not for the impassioned pleas of common <br />
associates I would not even pen these words.<br />
Lhorenzho, I believe your name is. Lhorenzho is how I know of you. I know of you through your purchases of Enyos and your aptly selected module and <br />
ammunitions selections. I know of you through your presence through local and random whispers. Yet, as I read these words that have been handed to me <br />
that represent some acknowledgment for favor from you to myself I am struck by some things.<br />
Lhorenzho, who is it that you think you are writing to? It is clear to me that you do not know who Sugar Kyle is. In your own words you do not <br />
acknowledge me as the Mistress of Bosena Market. Your speech, while alight with energy and soaring words appears to believe that it can contain the <br />
Pirate Queen of Molden Heath.<br />
What do you think I am, Lhorenzho? A serving wench to be tipped in the corner and given a shiny coin for her time? An ornament for you to admire and <br />
place upon a shelf to wait faithfully for your attention? Do you think that plying the trade of the Bosena Market where I supply you what you do not <br />
have for yourself would draw my attention to you as more than one of the thousands of pilots that pass through my space?<br />
Sir, I am Sugar Kyle, Pirate Queen and Mistress of the Bosena Market. I am a pirate as much as you are. My speech is the rat-tat-tat of autocannons. My <br />
form the ship that I undock in. My mind is the goal that I aim for. I am no man's creature. I am no man's toy.<br />
I believe my words would not be so bold and true if it were not for the fact that in the fevered imaginings of your frantic thoughts you believe that <br />
you can command me. My hair? It is as blue as the day that I was born. My speech? It is of the most pure Minmatar unblemished by the slang that you use. <br />
For, good Sir, I did have to use a translation device to trudge through the incoherent slang that you used.<br />
You do not 'take me' anywhere. You do not command me to change my hair. I will roam the space lanes free. I need not bind myself to one who believes <br />
that with a snap of his fingers I would prostrate myself to the floor while seeking to please him. .<br />
Oh no. You know nothing of me. I hope you like my new hairstyle, Lhorenzho. I call it battle bald. <br />
Game on.<br />
-Sugar Kyle<br />
Pirate Queen<br />
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<br />
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-LAW OFFICE OF SUSAN DERPANTSOFF-<br />
<br />
<br />
SUSAN DERPANTSOFF Esquire<br />
<br />
To: Sugar Kyle - proprietor Bosena Market<br />
<br />
Dear Ms. Kyle,<br />
Please permit me to introduce myself. <br />
My name is Susan Derpantsoff. <br />
I am an attorney representing Mr. Lhorenzho.<br />
Please note that I have a general civil practice whose main office is in Pator Tech station in Heild (please see attached list of satellite offices).<br />
Our practice is focused solely on the numerous business and financial affairs of the man you know as Lhorenzho. <br />
<br />
Yes, in a manner of speaking I am like a mafia Don's consigliere. <br />
<br />
Like Tom Hagen in that great old movie "The Podfather?" (sic), I have but one client. <br />
I need not add that he pays me very well and he commands my utmost loyalty, respect, and allegiance. <br />
<br />
Although my client prefers to keep his diverse, eclectic, and highly profitable activities confidential and discreet, his numerous holdings and considerable affluence and prosperity often bring him to the attention of the New Eden population in general.<br />
<br />
Try as we might, we cannot keep that bright light that is Lhorenzho under a bushel!<br />
<br />
As a quasi successful entrepreneur and small time proprietor in your own right, (I commend you for pushing through the proverbial glass ceiling!) you no doubt are aware that our universe is replete with individuals of questionable character and is also filled with unscrupulously duplicitous corporate entities who would seek to appropriate by whatever means necessary assets that others have acquired by dint of their own industriousness and ingenuity. <br />
<br />
(Mr. Lhorenzho built his empire with his own two hands! Yes, a trust fund was available, but it was a mere springboard.) <br />
<br />
Many of the worst offenders are those who choose to label themselves as "capsuleers" or "pirates" or "PvPers". <br />
Mr. Lhorenzho calls them "punks" and other epithets that decorum does not permit me to repeat on our business letterhead.<br />
.<br />
That the primary motivation of these "flashy reds" for getting up in the morning is to perpetuate nefarious activities cannot be denied. <br />
It is their raison d'etre.<br />
<br />
To the point.<br />
<br />
You may be wondering, Ms. Kyle, why our office is contacting you specifically.<br />
<br />
This memorandum to you was triggered by the filtering system of our proprietary security software. <br />
Please do not be offended but our "GOLDDIGGER ALERT" was tripped when your correspondence (attached below) to Mr. Lhorenzho was processed.<br />
<br />
Yes, your letter has been intercepted. <br />
Various New Eden statutes mandate that we disclose this fact to you.<br />
<br />
It has so been disclosed. <br />
Your acknowledgement under separate cover would be appreciated.<br />
<br />
Your letter raised many troubling issues, but they will not be addressed at this time pending your compliance with more pressing requirements detailed below. <br />
<br />
First things first Ms. Kyle.<br />
<br />
Your "I am woman hear me roar" comments while quaint and strangely aggressive have been heard but are of secondary importance for the moment. <br />
Our office is curious as to who you are and what you are about and what your intentions might be vis-à-vis our client.<br />
<br />
Clearly, you can see Ms. Kyle, that we are vigilant not only with respect to what New Eden's scurrilous pirates might do, but also to the possibility that a member of the fairer sex might also orchestrate an unauthorized "transfer of funds".<br />
<br />
Luckily, we have safeguards in place.<br />
<br />
All communications that are generated by Mr. Lhorenzho either of a business nature or personal are routed through our office for review and action. <br />
<br />
It is left to our discretion to determine exactly how much follow up investigative activity is mandated.<br />
<br />
This very necessary and effective filter applies to incoming as well as outgoing mail. <br />
<br />
In addition to written mail, IM's, sexchats, and holographic mutual gratification sessions are also "monitored". <br />
<br />
Security concerns prohibit me from providing any additional details on how our software and security operatives perform their magic. <br />
<br />
Rest assured they are efficient and leave no stone unturned. <br />
<br />
Needless to say, our office has Mr. Lhorenzho's full confidence and we have been given carte blanche to proceed with any investigative process we feel is warranted.<br />
<br />
In essence, Ms. Kyle, I am a "buffer" of sorts whose primary mission is to protect my client not only from those outside the "circle of trust" so to speak, but also to protect him from his own missteps if need be. <br />
Much has been written about the foibles and follies of men.<br />
<br />
Are not all great men afflicted with a proclivity to "self destruct" at times"?<br />
<br />
As majestic and imposing as he was in his prime, we must sadly acknowledge and recognize that he has slipped a bit in recent years. <br />
<br />
In particular, his inclination for chasing and wooing and soliciting the attentions of attractive women has become an increasing thorn in our side and has made our job more difficult. <br />
<br />
He is a man who in the past has been known to fall quickly under the spell of beautiful women who may seek to beguile him with their charms, many of these seductresses were unmistakably motivated by a desire to further their own means. <br />
<br />
You are not the first Ms. Kyle, although it appears that he has it particularily bad for you. <br />
<br />
As I understand it, you have never met in person.<br />
<br />
His fascination with you troubles our team here in our office. <br />
<br />
Toiling away in his corner office on the top floor of "Lhorenzho Towers", my client, due to his prodigious work load, is unfortunately denied opportunities to socialize with others and this lack of interaction takes its toll on him. <br />
<br />
<br />
He is a titan in his own right but he is starting to falter a bit. <br />
<br />
He had the prescience and brilliant foresight years ago to set up our watchdog apparatus and its purpose was and continues to be to protect him. <br />
<br />
It functions on his behalf even when he is not aware it is doing so. <br />
<br />
It is on autopilot most of the time and we respond when alarms are triggered usually in instances like the one precipitated by your curious letter. <br />
<br />
One that appears to admonish him, yet contains an unmistakable come hither element and tone. <br />
A letter that a perceptive romantic like Lhorenzho would be expected to respond to in one fashion or another. <br />
And now, when nature has finally begun to do to him what countless human rivals and enemies could NEVER do i.e. take him down a notch, we find it imperative to act with resolve to protect him.!<br />
<br />
And now we must do our job.<br />
It may offend you in part, and we offer our apologies, but these feelings of offense you may feel are a necessary collateral damage that is inherent in an investigation of this type.<br />
<br />
Permit me to provide a modicum of background Ms. Kyle, so you do not get the impression that our interests are purely professional and motivated solely by money. <br />
<br />
We have grown to care deeply over the years for my client.<br />
<br />
He is a highly sociable individual who has always had a large circle of friends, business associates and family members nearby. <br />
<br />
As his empire has expanded and flourished he has found himself increasingly isolated from those he most cares about. Long hours and responsibilities that most of us could never bring ourselves to shoulder have diminished the buoyancy of his once vibrant personality. <br />
<br />
<br />
Frankly, he can get quite lonely up there on the 98th floor and he is consequently more susceptible to being victimized by young women who are drawn to his aura of power and wealth like moths to a light bulb. <br />
<br />
Don't get your wings singed Ms. Kyle!<br />
<br />
Add to that the recent death of his favorite aunt Pascualita and you have a scenario where he might be motivated to look for a "diversion". That diversion might very well be you Ms. Kyle, but not before we do our due diligence. <br />
<br />
More on that later.<br />
<br />
I, along with my staff, have read the numerous letters penned by my client and sent to you via registered EVE mail.<br />
<br />
He has also, as you noted in your letter, enlisted the help of mutual acquaintances, in his efforts to get "close to you" as the sad anorexic waif Karen Carpenter used to croon. <br />
<br />
These mutual acquaintances will also need to be vetted. <br />
Anyone who has "vouched" for you to Mr. Lhorenzho or who has passed a "note" to you from my client will have to be interrogated.<br />
<br />
Please have one Naoru Kozan contact our office as soon as possible.<br />
It is likely that one Miura Bull may also be subpoenaed depending on circumstances.<br />
<br />
In closing, and to use the vernacular of the street Ms. Kyle, Lhorenzho has the hots for you. <br />
<br />
As one woman to another, we know how vulnerable a man with his libido aroused can be. <br />
He often is no longer thinking straight.<br />
Even Lhorenzho has fallen prey to this common predilection.<br />
<br />
Even without his chemical enhancements he can be quite the charmer and despite his romantic bravado he is a sweet older gentleman who has often looked for love in all the wrong places. (The press reports stating he was arrested running nude and carousing with Jovian Transvestites while wearing a multi-colored penis sheath were grossly exaggerated!)<br />
<br />
We are his financial caretakers and we take our duties seriously. <br />
<br />
The threat we his loyal security team face on a daily basis is multifaceted.<br />
<br />
It is not necessary for his latest love interest to physically abscond with his money. <br />
There are other ways to impact the fiduciary and financial stability of a giant conglomerate.<br />
<br />
The mere fact that his heart is broken due to continual rejection can trigger serious episodes of depression leading to long bouts of out of control spending, drinking, and drug abuse that can significantly affect the bottom line of Lhorenzho Enterprises.<br />
<br />
He can be flamboyantly lavish with his cash and credit cards when inebriated and/or lovesick.<br />
<br />
It has happened before Ms. Kyle.<br />
<br />
You are hereby advised that should you choose to continue your correspondence with our client you will be required to undergo a full, comprehensive physical examination by a panel of appropriate specialists. They will deal with somatic concerns.<br />
<br />
Also required will be a psychiatric examination by a practitioner of OUR choosing. <br />
We will shortly be sending you a panel list of acceptable physicians. <br />
Please select one on the form by placing an X in the appropriate box.<br />
<br />
You will need to undergo a series of progressively more stringent polygraph examinations and will need to take the most current version of the minnesota multiphasic personality inventory to rule out any multiaxial disassociative disorders.<br />
<br />
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Your penchant for "buying and selling" hints at some possible issues with money so a full financial status report of ALL of your accounts and holdings will be required. <br />
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ALL account numbers and pass codes MUST be divulged to our examiners Ms. Kyle!<br />
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You have our guarantee that your information will be maintained in the strictest of confidence and will be protected by our state of the art encryption process. <br />
It has only failed once to our knowledge.<br />
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Lastly, there was a significant tone of anger, acrimony, and animosity permeating your rather disjointed letter and this aspect will have to be specifically addressed as well.<br />
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Failure to comply with these steps may result in having your access to the charismatic Lhorenzho severely restricted.<br />
That prospect alone has motivated many others in your position to comply willingly with ALL of our requests.<br />
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Please contact our office as expeditiously as possible to arrange suitable dates for the examinations referenced above. <br />
In the interim please refrain from contacting our client in any manner. <br />
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We will invoke any and all injunctive processes should you fail to adhere to our admonitions.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
Sue Derpantsoff Esquire<br />
Derpantsoff and associates LLC<br />
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attachment: Letter from party Kyle to Lhorenzho. The exhibit marked SK1 has not been altered or redacted in any manner.<br />
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(our office is located next to Pator Tech ambulance service should you wish to stop in and say hello) <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/09/sugar-and-spice-or-where-is-me-pot-o.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-09-17T19:26:00-07:00">7:26 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/09/sugar-and-spice-or-where-is-me-pot-o.html#comment-form"> 7 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=681124990255461376" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-41549553789736449402014-08-11T12:42:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:42:20.270-07:00ODE TO SUGAR KYLE or The view from an Arms length away<br />
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Wednesday, July 17, 2013</h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">I was despondent.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"What the fuck Miura! Why won't this doll-face give me the time of day?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I was down in the dumps. I was not eating. I was not bathing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Well, I rarely bathe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">My recent overtures to Sugar Kyle had fallen flat. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">This failure to win her affections had precipitated my drunken whine session.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">But it was true. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Sugar did not know me from Fernando.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">She had not given me as much as a wave whenever I encountered her, which was generally in her home system of Bosena, the locale where she plied her trade as a major business icon.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Why?", I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"What the hell am I doing wrong?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"Sugar acts like she can't stand me man."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"I used to score with the ladies all the time. What happened to me?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">Da Bull just shook his head and motioned me to lean in closer.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Dude. I thought you were smarter than this. Really, I did".</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">His piercing eyes were glaring at me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Don't you remember your campaign to woo Ava Starfire? How many times did you write her on her personal mail? How many publicly posted proclamations of your love for her did you publish?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">I glanced warily at my swarthy CEO.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">His probing and very astute questions suddenly had me thinking.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Well shit boss, I wrote her at least 3 or 4 times privately, and then I put out a couple of those public statements. Why do you ask me that?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Of course I knew why. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Even before the words were completely out of my mouth I was aware of why he asked. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">I tell the kid often that he is wise beyond his years, generally just to blow smoke up his skirt to keep his ass happy and off my back, but I was beginning to believe that maybe the little fucker really was kind of smart. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">He could be on to something. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Sugar was not feeling the love. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Not really. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Dammit, I think I see what you mean MB!" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Look Lhorenzho, you have not brought the CHARM OFFENSIVE to the woman! She sees you putting out a lot of effort to get AVA STARFIRE's attention and then sees you slacking horribly in this campaign of yours to woo her. Of course she is offended dummy! Anything worth having takes work man!"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"The charm offensive!", I slapped my tattooed forehead.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"I NEVER brought the Charm Offensive to bear!"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">How could I have forgotten.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">I took a quick drink of my Coralejo tequila.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"But, MB", I continued.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"This chick is a business woman. How the hell do I REALLY get her attention? Should I apply for a credit card at her store? Will that do the trick? Shall I put something on layaway? Hell I have been buying stuff I don't need like there is no tomorrow lately just so she would notice me. Merlin and Atron shit. Hell, I hate those fucking ships! I have been flying in and out of Bosena 50 times a day. You mean I was wasting my time and dinero?" </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">Da Bull was silent. He let out a short whistle of exasperation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">He reached into his shirt pocket and fished out a cigarrette.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">He lit it with a flourish using his R1FTA 500 kill memorial lighter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">He snapped the lighter shut, slid it gingerly back into his pocket and slowly and with deliberate measure blew smoke in my face.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">I coughed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Write the lady a poem dude. Most cultured chicks dig that shit. I am sure she is never exposed to that stuff. Look who she hangs around with for crying out loud. I mean the Humbleless crew?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">You would be like a wolf in the fold. Bring the charm dude. Bring the Charm."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">I was perplexed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"I don't know MB. A poem? Do I look like Axel Rose? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I can't write shit like that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I slumped further in my chair.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I motioned for the bartender to bring me a double.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"You can do it Lho." He patted me on the shoulder as he got up from his chair.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">He flicked his cigarette butt on the floor and walked away.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">He paused at the doorway to chat with Nogusha. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">They both looked in my direction and laughed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Hell I CAN do it!' I said to no one in particular.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">"Yes, Yes I can." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I was filled with resolve.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I felt my vest pocket. My miniature transcription device was there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;">I downed my double.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: medium;">"Lets get to work!?</span><br />
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At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">ODE TO SUGAR KYLE (Ignis Fatuus)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">by Lhorenzho</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How painful the refrain of your indifference my heavenly SUGAR KYLE,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">which spoil'st and tempers sadly the ardor your embrace to me would bring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Enticing and bewitching the seductive glimmer of your hypnotic smile,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">that triggers unrelenting in my eyes a feverish satyric gleaming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In dire anticipation the torch of unrequited love is borne,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">the boon of passion which I craved I fear has slowly slipped away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lonesome heart calls sorrow, absence, and forlorn,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">while your insouciant apathy, my continued suffering does parlay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Exquisitely alluring, your symmetry and radiance does feed for you my reverence,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">my suffering heart perilously bared to your unfurled disdain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sullen still, it holds illusions yet, that in my life, I shall attain your divine presence,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">knowing well the torturous truth that sentiment for me you merely feign.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Draw in sublime my sweet, lapse not, nor welcome thee the notion to withdraw,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">for wistful murmurings our pillows will absorb at dawns first light.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dare I hope that jovian darkness shades my major flaw,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and that your clever mind shall never dare to call me trite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Romantic languour loves lustre will diminish and quell the cleave of amorous fates,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and mouldering dreams of pleasure will be smote.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Renew my dreams that our two hearts will join before coital urge abates,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and pray that my carress upon you tenderly someday sweetly I may dote.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Aloof be not my tantalizing tart,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">for I grow mad with merely gazing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Let me come to you tonite my vampish sweetheart,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">for Lhorenzho's aging loins are blazing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">I awoke with a start and sat up in my bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I was drenched in sweat.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">The room was dark. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">The hum of station engines and power systems filled the room. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I rubbed my eyes and struggled to focus.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I had experienced "the dream" again.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">A scene from an ancient earth film that captured the essence of my feelings for Sugar.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I was Don Draper and Sugar was my Betty.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Could we someday live this moment exactly as I saw it in my vision. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">Yes. I believe we can.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">I await you at the foot of the stairs my sweet!</span><br />
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24I160HrHaw">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24I160HrHaw</a><br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/07/ode-to-sugar-kyle-or-view-from-arms.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-07-17T18:35:00-07:00">6:35 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/07/ode-to-sugar-kyle-or-view-from-arms.html#comment-form"> 2 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=1363046323448042881" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /></a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-62370201492618233382014-08-11T12:41:00.002-07:002014-08-11T12:41:55.151-07:00I'm so Pretty or WITH THE FIRST PICK in the capsuleer draft "RANSM" selects......<br />
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Monday, July 1, 2013</h2>
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RUSH POST!!! Please excuse typos and grammatical errors.<br />
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Note the following communication relayed to me earlier tonight by one "Mighty Neckbeard" as I made my way back to Evati from Heild. </div>
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[02:32:58] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Oddelulf</div>
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[02:34:00] The Mighty Neckbeard > <url=showinfo:1376//875463717>Lhorenzho</url> RANSM said they're interested in recruiting you</div>
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[02:34:25] Lhorenzho > ransom?</div>
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More on this message later.</div>
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I was on my way back to Evati system in a shield boosted jaguar to avenge the loss of a Merlin to a punk in a firetail fit with long range guns when the cryptic communication referenced above came in.<br />
NO!, I did not bother to look at his guns before engaging!<br />
And yes, I had the wrong ammo loaded and yes I did read Sulei's updated ammo guide.<br />
The problem is in the EXECUTION cabrones not in lack of knowledge!!</div>
<div>
(By the way, the firetail pilot did not even have the decency to offer up a GF.)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yes, the losing streak that I spoke about at length in my last post continues and it is sapping the life energy out of me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For crying out loud why won't somebody orchestrate some kind of fucking intervention? </div>
<div>
I am hurting dammit!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I need help FFS!!!</div>
<div>
Where are my friends?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Where are my corpies?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Where is my CEO?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Why hasn't he invoked the "Employee assistance Plan" that is discussed in the small print of my employment contract with the Screaming Hayabusas? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's there to help corporate members who are having problems coping with issues whether personal or combat related. </div>
<div>
It just so happens that I am embroiled in difficulties in both arenas.</div>
<div>
Its obvious to anyone who cares to look closely enough that I am at my breaking point.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yet, the contact information to my EAP program has been withheld.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That fucking Miura Bull has refused to give me the 800 number! </div>
<div>
(900 numbers he gives out like there is no tomorrow.)<br />
He is too busy being a fucking TRAVEL AGENT to notice my plight!<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/">http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Que Maldito!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Clearly, as I suspected, all the feel good talk of FRATERNITY and BROTHERHOOD that is bandied about at corporate functions, especially after the libations have been flowing for a while, are nothing more than empty platitudes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hollow words and phraseology, whose only purpose is to assuage the feelings of guilt that many of my "mates" are harboring over their unabashed neglect of my dire situation and circumstances. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They know I am on my last leg. </div>
<div>
They know. </div>
<div>
I know they know.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Still, they do nothing.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I AM ALONE IN THIS!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Its a harsh reality, the one that forces a quasi idealist like me to come to terms with such an ugly truth.</div>
<div>
I AM ALONE!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
People just don't give a "flying chili bean fuck", to coin a phrase used by Gus (Michael Douglas' sidekick in BASIC INSTINCT).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
QUE SE VAYA AL DIABLO!!!! </div>
<div>
GO TO HELL LHORENZHO!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That's their attitude. </div>
<div>
So be it!</div>
<div>
From the narrative above it should be clear to the most obtuse why I do what follows.</div>
<div>
I must do what I must do!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Clearly, from the message above, even a blind Gallente could discern that I have become a "coveted recruit".<br />
A hot commodity!</div>
<div>
A "bluechipper" as they used to say in the world of football recruiting on ancient Earth.</div>
<div>
Bigshots in other corporations are now interested in ME!</div>
<div>
(Thank GOD I read the message from Mighty Neckbeard before running that razor across my wrists.)</div>
<div>
Ya hear me BULL?</div>
<div>
I am the belle of the ball now and my dance card is filling up fast mister!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The ball is in my court now!</div>
<div>
I am holding all the cards.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I AM SOMEBODY ESE!!!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have the leverage! </div>
<div>
Archimedes said..."Give me a lever long enough and I will move the world!"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Well, I got the fucking LEVER now BULL!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I want a fucking RAISE!!!</div>
<div>
Pronto!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
R...A...I...S...E!</div>
<div>
Read my lips! </div>
<div>
Dinero punk! At least 4.5%!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I want my quarters upgraded.</div>
<div>
I won't stay in these basement digs near the station sewage processor any longer.</div>
<div>
Only a fool would NOT strike while the iron was hot.</div>
<div>
FUCK THAT!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I want you to arrange a "date" for me with you know who!</div>
<div>
(You will rent me a tuxedo too fucker!)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
ACT FAST DUDE.</div>
<div>
I AM WANTED!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am a projected first round pick. </div>
<div>
FIRST ROUND MONEY BEST MONEY!!!</div>
<div>
Champagne and Hot tubs!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Don't make me jump ship.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
BTW....who is RANSM?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/07/im-so-pretty-or-with-first-pick-in.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-07-01T21:21:00-07:00">9:21 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/07/im-so-pretty-or-with-first-pick-in.html#comment-form"> 10 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=4839271327469302959" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140208013412im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /></a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-14475539737480521742014-08-11T12:41:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:41:30.486-07:00LOSING STREAK!!! or Can a plucked Phoenix rise from the Ashes?<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Saturday, June 29, 2013</h2>
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Carl Sandburg once said, "To be a good loser is to learn how to win"<br />
By this criteria, not only am I not a winner, I am not even a good loser.<br />
<br />
Earlier today, I made a conscious decision to pack my meager belongings in my zippered station issue "velize" and get the "HELL OUTTA DODGE".<br />
<br />
Pator tech station in HEILD, once my beloved home away from home and sometimes revered sanctuary, holds nothing but grim reminders of my collosal failings as a PvPing capsuleer.<br />
<br />
My quarters are littered with reams and reams of computer printouts documenting upgraded clone procedures and insurance payouts for ships lost while performing my duties.<br />
<br />
Did I mention I perform them badly?<br />
<br />
There are copies of letters I have written to loved ones of crew members who have been lost while serving under my tutelage on ships that many mockingly christen "TITANIC" behind my back.<br />
<br />
My invitations to the best parties are being retracted at record pace and are sent registered mail!<br />
<br />
None of my "love interests" will return my calls and local proprietors no longer see fit to wait on me personally, choosing instead to have their associates handle my business.<br />
<br />
The universe does love a winner. Losers, not so much.<br />
<br />
My dwindling supply of ships also pays ready testament to the fact that I am currently behind the proverbial eight ball.<br />
Thank New Eden deities that I am wealthy beyond belief or I would surely be in dire straits.<br />
<br />
My God in Heaven things have been tough.<br />
<br />
I have been pounded harder than my new Invader V3 drum practice pad. (I highly recommend this pad along with the drummers bible "STICK CONTROL", the venerable classic by George Lawrence Stone. A year with this thing and Joe Morello's spirit will be looking over his shoulder.)<br />
<br />
I need to clear my head.<br />
Drink, floozies, designer drugs, cigarettes, and unmarked ISK in canvas bags no longer take my mind off my shortcomings.<br />
A change of scenery is called for as well as an attitude adjustment.<br />
<br />
Who said, To thine own self be true?<br />
<br />
I stink. That is a "true".<br />
<br />
As my deeply disturbed cousin "Tornillo" Torres used to say to me after beating me 30 straight times at the card game "HEARTS" while we waited to be processed at the Juvenile facility for incorrigibles in my birth system, "Lhorenzho, NO SOPLAS para nada vato!".<br />
<br />
YOU SUCK AT EVERYTHING DUDE!<br />
<br />
The MOLDEN HEATH area has not treated me kindly as of late and his fateful words are starting to ring prophetic yet again.<br />
<br />
I hate you PRIMO!!<br />
(He is only my second cousin.)<br />
<br />
Yes, things have turned sour for me here in HEILD.<br />
Who said when life hands you sour lemons you make lemonade?<br />
Fuck that guy! It is not quite that easy now is it?<br />
<br />
When I start to resent MOLDEN HEATH, a place I have always held dear to my heart, its time to make a change.<br />
The HEATH is now replete with bad karma and I do not want to associate HEILD with any feelings of inadequacy and failure.<br />
<br />
The worm will not turn until I make it so.<br />
<br />
I have encountered surly, unaccomadating marketplace proprietors, love interests who either don't know of or purposely choose to remain oblivious to my existence, overly aggressive blobbers and faggoty ECMers, and I have had the misfortune of encountering a series of PvP solo savants that have put such a collective whipping on my ass that it has set my EVE proficiency and development back a year.<br />
<br />
How do I know they were PVP prodigys?<br />
<br />
Well, they were SAVANTS to me and that's all that matters.<br />
Its all relative.<br />
<br />
They comprised my own hellish "murderers row" of opponents. (see 1927 NY Yankees)<br />
In those harrowing encounters, I was the gangly rookie pitcher with a 67 MPH fastball and they, these fucking SOLO Savants, were the sultans of swat, the mighty Babe Ruth.<br />
<br />
Each and everyone of those little fuckers pointed to deep center field and called their shot!<br />
Lhorenzho's pod in the 90 cent bleachers.<br />
WHACK!!!! Hello clone vat!<br />
<br />
BASTARDS!<br />
<br />
To say that I have been going through a rough patch in game would be an understatement.<br />
<br />
As my dear uncle Pierdemucho used to say after a heavy day of gambling losses at the Jai Alai courts in Tijuana..."Que chinga me metieron hoy Lencho!"<br />
<br />
It may be in my genes to lose, but I must play this hand out to be sure.<br />
<br />
I have made one bad decision after another in my PVP encounters and the disheartening results have impacted my psyche much worse than I expected.<br />
<br />
I have generally been very resilient in the past and have always "bounced back" like a champ after a streak of bad luck, but of late, I have noticed a different trend.<br />
<br />
I go down and I stay down, like some badly scarred, cauliflower eared fighter who needs a quick paycheck.<br />
I am Gilbert Glassjaw, sprawled on the canvass, surreptitiously opening one eye and peeking at the referee as he tolls the count.<br />
<br />
Just count to 10 ref and hurry!<br />
I got a bottle of whiskey and an envelope waiting for me.<br />
<br />
No more pride.<br />
<br />
Frankly, my confidence is shot.<br />
I no longer believe I can beat ANYBODY!<br />
<br />
Without a belief in yourself, you are doomed to certain failure as a PVPer in New Eden.<br />
Few will disagree with that conclusion.<br />
How many self help books have been written driving home that very point?<br />
<br />
You have to believe you have a shot at beating the guy or gal in your overview.<br />
<br />
When you spit out your mouthpiece and fall prostrate on the celestial canvas at the sight of the first flashy red then you know you have reached an unappealing watershed period in your pirate life.<br />
<br />
You don't want to be in that place.<br />
<br />
Where are your HUEVOS Cabron??<br />
<br />
The last fight I was in I was so nervous that I know my eyes were wider than MICHAEL SPINK'S eyes were just before the start of round 1 in his clash with the fearsome Mike Tyson in his prime.<br />
<br />
Like with SPINKS, the question was not, would I get popped, but rather how long would I last before my corpse woud be floating in the freezing darkness of space.<br />
<br />
What the fuck happened to me?<br />
Did my penchant for CYNO popping ruin me?<br />
Targets that shoot back on a regular basis are tough!<br />
WTF!<br />
<br />
Could I have suddenly aged to the point that my reflexes are shot?<br />
I am going to be 62 years old in August?<br />
Many athletes suddenly lose it and often with little warning.<br />
We New Eden pirates are a type of "athlete" are we not?<br />
Food for thought?<br />
<br />
Back to my problems.<br />
<br />
A 3 month old noob player in a Catalyst took my Executioner out yesterday because I blundered badly.<br />
I have become a "stepping stone" for young warriors.<br />
I have been patronized a lot lately by corpies and friends but nothing hurt like that Catalyst flying noob making excuses for ME!!<br />
"If we fought 10 times you would win 9", he said to me with pity in his voice!<br />
<br />
Even my normally supportive CEO, Miura Bull, was strangely quiet when I relayed the results of that travesty to him in corp chat.<br />
<br />
He claims he does not care about KILLBOARDS or Efficiency ratings.<br />
His silence at hearing my tale says otherwise.<br />
I am certain my losing streak has him concerned.<br />
<br />
Dammit, my hands are tied.<br />
I gotta leave town!<br />
I cannot look anyone in the eye anymore.<br />
<br />
I have to go somewhere and rehabilitate my combat style and abilities.<br />
Mental imagery, positive reinforcement, mega-doses of vitamins, high colonics, and clone cleansings are mandated.<br />
It's the only way.<br />
<br />
Only when I can make a triumphant re-entry will I return to MOLDEN HEATH.<br />
I must be like the great general MacArthur! I shall return!!<br />
(If I owe you money you might want to collect as I could be gone a long time)<br />
<br />
Sounds like a good plan. NO?<br />
Yes, I think so.<br />
<br />
I have put my plan into action.<br />
I am proud of myself for initiating the healing process.<br />
<br />
I have recently JC'd out of Heild and made my way back to Placid and set up operations, at least temporarily, out of the Pelille system, a locale once utilized by a former CORP of mine.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, I did not have a clone in Pelille intself to jump into, so I elected to JC to AMAMAKE.<br />
The dangerous and deadly AMAMAKE!<br />
The last place you would expect to find the "COWARD OF THE COUNTY!"<br />
(I still owe you and your buddies one KATE MOSH you punk!)<br />
I fought my inner demons and fears and went to AMA.<br />
<br />
The plan was to use AMAMAKE as a springboard to make the remaining 27 or so gate jumps ending at the Duvolle station in Pelille.<br />
<br />
I am already feeling better about myself.<br />
Having made the decision to "help myself" and forego expensive therapy has proven palliative.<br />
<br />
After I JC'd from Heild to Ama, I settled into a comfortable rifter I keep in AMA for occasions just like this one, and made the trek to Placid.<br />
It was a good trip and I was in a contemplative mood and state the whole way.<br />
<br />
It was only a start. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step right?<br />
<br />
I wish I could tell you that I experienced a transformative eye opening epiphany on my journey to Pelille.<br />
I cannot.<br />
Was this my "ROAD TO DAMASCUS"?<br />
NO!<br />
<br />
No thunderbolt out of the heavens suddenly put me at the top of the BATTLECLINIC rankings.<br />
There was only the hum of my rifters engine.<br />
I passed the time reading Dr. Phil's latest and scrutinizing the SCREAMING HAYABUSA Killboard.<br />
Somewhere in that mass of numbers was the answer to my problem.<br />
<br />
Row after Row of cyno noobship kills were listed for one Lhorenzho.<br />
A lead? Maybe.<br />
<br />
I did not have the stomach to review the LOSSES column!<br />
<br />
Clearly, I have a long row to hoe.<br />
Wish me luck dear friends.<br />
<br />
We will see how it turns out.<br />
<br />
One last quick narrative before I close, because it touches at least peripherally on the discussion above.<br />
<br />
On that last leg from AMA to Pelille, I did make a stop in OYONATA system for supplies and to stretch my legs a little more comfortably than is permitted by my Rifter.<br />
<br />
While doing some minor reconnaisance prior to docking at the top station, I encountered a young pirate named VALATIE, who was tooling around in a scary little Tristan.<br />
Needless to say in my current state, the last thing I wanted to do was lock horns with this fellow. Yes, my fucking eyes were wide!!!<br />
<br />
At one point, I ran into him in a system acceleration gate and while dawdling was suddenly set upon by what seemed like an army of drones.<br />
Does a Tristan hold 50 drones?<br />
It certainly seemed so to me.<br />
Perhaps the bending of time and space created a visual distortion?<br />
<br />
In any event, I tucked tail and beat a hasty retreat and once safed up, I did what many of us do in game, especially after a fright, I opened up his BIO and read.<br />
<br />
I followed some of his links and soon found myself watching a string of Videos he had posted.<br />
Apparently, the kid is some kind of PVP Savant!<br />
Another FUCKING SAVANT!<br />
(I told you my luck is rotten!!!)<br />
<br />
Several of the titles listed caught my eye.<br />
One in particular made me stop in my tracks.<br />
He had a video on maximizing the efficiency of your UI!!<br />
Caramba, just what I needed.<br />
Well, one of the things on my long list anyway.<br />
(I also have a 12 step process I have to adhere to, but that is another story.)<br />
<br />
I watched the video 5 times and then applied its sage advice and tips to my own UI.<br />
<br />
I know this UI change will set me back even further for a spell.<br />
As most of you know, having an instantaneous reaction time in New Eden combat is pivotal and often this reaction time depends on how quickly you respond to combat stimuli without having to think about your actions.<br />
<br />
Your moves and reactions must invariably be instinctive and second nature.<br />
<br />
This ability to react is of course aided by muscle memory and training.<br />
<br />
Changing my UI will undermine my reactions and procedures in the short term, but I am hopeful that in the long run my ability to deal with an opponent will be greatly enhanced by these changes.<br />
<br />
The young SAVANT was congenial and very approachable and did not hesitate to impart any of his hard won knowledge.<br />
<br />
Most PVP virtuosity is paid for in blood as most of you know.<br />
<br />
Often times MY fucking blood!<br />
<br />
I thank you young VALATIE!<br />
<br />
Finally, a shout out to my good buddy Ronen Marin.<br />
Sorry I haven't had the chance to talk to you lately buddy but I intend to rectify that soon.<br />
Remember, you are not in KANSAS anymore! <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/06/losing-streak-or-can-plucked-phoenix.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-06-29T18:09:00-07:00">6:09 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/06/losing-streak-or-can-plucked-phoenix.html#comment-form"> 1 comment: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=3233741597746735933" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-76303834689286112782014-08-11T12:41:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:41:05.047-07:00Blue Light Special or BE MY DULCINEA!<br />
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Monday, June 17, 2013</h2>
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<br />
<br />
Can a man love too much?<br />
Is it possible that men in general can NEVER cleave to only one woman? <br />
Is monogamy a myth?<br />
These questions are important to both the individual man as he goes about his daily business, and on a larger philosophical level to mankind in general.<br />
<br />
Frankly,I am almost embarrassed to discuss this in public yet again.<br />
Aw fuck it. Here goes.<br />
<br />
Not long ago, many of you may recall, I professed publicly my undying love for AVA STARFIRE.<br />
<br />
Before that, I detailed my efforts to win the affections of Lady Shaniqua. <br />
<br />
Also, I made some quasi subtle overtures to Laedy, one of the grand dames of NEW EDEN.<br />
I thought my LAEDY infatuation might lead to something, but ultimately I grew weary of her incessant need to involve the authorities and the numerous cease and desist letters from her lawyers that poured in, not to mention the restraining orders and bench warrants. <br />
I almost got my third strike!!<br />
<br />
Interlaced amongst these activities, was an overt flirtation with the Dragon Tattoo's in house hottie, Luna Lafisque. <br />
Luna, however, kept me at arms length.<br />
<br />
I know this looks bad.<br />
At the very least, these activities paint me as somewhat "flighty".<br />
<br />
Some have gone so far as to refer to me as a "serial buttocks fondler!"<br />
<br />
I am not.<br />
<br />
I am just a poor struggling capsuleer looking for love in all the wrong places.<br />
Ava was tantalizing to say the least, but courting her was dangerous.<br />
<br />
I was not unlike the male blackwidow spider or its Australian variant, who with one misstep during a mating dance generally ends up as dinner for his potential mate.<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojDCmlhBhxw">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojDCmlhBhxw</a><br />
AVA could kill me without blinking an eye. <br />
I dared not pursue that deadly damsel. <br />
I backed off. <br />
<br />
You can see, things were not going well for me on the romance front.<br />
<br />
My repeated failures to secure a bride and insure the continuation of the Lhorenzho bloodline has proven to be a source of constant irritation.<br />
<br />
Also, my intrusive, overbearing MAMA is growing impatient. <br />
She has made it clear that she wants "muchos nietos y nietas!"<br />
Grandkids!!<br />
<br />
I don't relish bringing people into my boudoir, at least not fully conscious, but its time for old Lho to make some legitimate heirs.<br />
<br />
Yes, I could try Pirate Mingle or some other electronic based dating service, but I have never been convinced that these sources could succeed in doing what my latino homeboy good looks and convincing make them drop their panties rap could not.<br />
<br />
My killer rap has just been directed at the wrong targets. <br />
The problemo could never be me. Right?<br />
In any event, the recent lull in my love life has put me down in the dumps. <br />
I won't deny that. <br />
<br />
I was hitting the tequila hard and smoking mucha "marijuana". <br />
<br />
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<br />
But then, a miracle.<br />
A miracle, promulgated by a fateful shopping trip.<br />
<br />
Isn't it amazing how one innocent action can be a life changer?<br />
<br />
While taking inventory in HEILD station a week ago, I noted that I was completely out of my current favorite ship. <br />
<br />
My CYNO popping ENYO's. <br />
<br />
(BTW, these little fuckers are primo CYNO poppers. Take my word for it. They pack a wallop, are nimble with great GTFO attributes, sport reppers, and are in my eyes even better than my old Ruppys for these type of duties. You don't have to be fucking Azual Skoll to see this shit!)<br />
<br />
Both the digital computer inventory and a walk through the hangar for an actual visual count confirmed my worst fears. <br />
<br />
NO MORE ENYO's. <br />
NO MAS! <br />
<br />
Those of you fuckers who can read a map know that Heild is next door to BOSENA. <br />
Bosena is the HQ of a store front named SARDMART. <br />
<br />
Now, I am not going to provide free advertising for this place, and I will leave it to you lazy fuckers to research the history of this establishment, but at the very least you should know that for pirates operating out of the MOLDEN HEATH region, this "tienda" is pretty convenient, especially when you are perpetually at -10. I am a bad boy most of the time and am ALWAYS at or near -10. (I hear the chicks love the bad boys!)<br />
<br />
And, it just so happened that on the day I discovered my ENYO shortages, Sard Caid, was minding the register at SARDMART. <br />
<br />
I quickly struck up a convo with the "proprietor" and told him what I needed. <br />
That is both good news and bad news. <br />
<br />
Bad news because in short order he managed to muck up my order and could not locate on his own shelfs half the shit I was looking for, in particular some rigs that are pivotal to the CYNO popping capabilities of my beloved ENYOS! <br />
<br />
Come on VATO get your shit together!!!!<br />
<br />
Luckily for Caid and for yours truly, a RETAIL ANGEL was present that day. The good news!!<br />
An angel who had heretofore flown "UNDER THE RADAR" so to speak of the Lhorenzho BABE LOCATOR antenna!<br />
<br />
Her name was SUGAR KYLE!!<br />
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<br />
<br />
AY que azucar tan dulce!!!!!!<br />
<br />
And it was clear from our first introduction that she was in to me and in to me big time!!!<br />
\o/<br />
My intuition is never wrong fuckers! Take it to the bank!<br />
<br />
What a resourceful CHICK, this gal is! <br />
Am I the only one who finds resourceful women a real turn on?<br />
<br />
Caid, you are lucky ese that she was around that day to correct your blunders, because I was on the verge of abandoning that shopping cart brimming with modules and ammo and traipse down to your nearest competitor. That fucking Neo Wal-Mart place with the freshly cloned produce and discounted modules from Placid.<br />
<br />
I ain't lying vato! <br />
Sugar saved your ass dude.<br />
<br />
Let me tell you, in no time flat, she was able to get me every single item I needed to fully fit my ENYO fleet, including the rigs that confounded Sard Caid. <br />
<br />
You should have seen the virtuosity as she worked the keys on the register. (I was not there but could hear the feverish clicking of the Point of Sale device.<br />
The aplomb with which she collated, verified, and confirmed every single item on my order sheet was nothing short of miraculous.<br />
<br />
(BTW, Mr. Caid, have you ever considered just working with your hands?)<br />
<br />
She even chastized him a bit for his failings. <br />
You know a little friendly Tsk Tsk that still sends a message. I hope he was paying attention.<br />
<br />
What kind of entrepreneur are you dude?<br />
<br />
But enought of that shit. <br />
<br />
Some of you may be asking, how do you know Lhorenzho, that sweet SUGAR KYLE is realy into you?<br />
<br />
Simple my concrete thinking friends. <br />
She gave me a 30% discount on the rigs. <br />
Nothing says I love you like a hefty discount.<br />
<br />
Also, she called me by my first name when addressing me AND she did not ask for my ID when I paid with my Caldari Issue American Express card! <br />
(don't leave home without it MOFO's!)<br />
<br />
I know our transaction was done remotely but still, even separated by space, I could feel the "sexual tension" between us, me and this SUGAR babe.<br />
<br />
Lets cut to the chase.<br />
I do have a bit of a dilemna to be sure. <br />
I don't know what kind of relationshop exists between this Caid dude and my Shoogah! <br />
I tried to pump that fucking Miura Bull for info but he wasn't talking.<br />
<br />
I felt like I was back in Jr. High in THE CITADEL, passing notes back and forth asking if Bobbi Sue has a boyfriend!<br />
<br />
Hey BULL, that dude ain't your boss no more! Spill the beans!<br />
<br />
If they are an item, I am gonna have to elbow my way in.<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7lR3YDzKCA">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7lR3YDzKCA</a><br />
<br />
But,I digress.<br />
<br />
What is she doing working for or with him?<br />
<br />
Is she merely his sexy model draped over the hood of some ship he is trying to sell to some poor sap, or is she the brains and better half of some retailing team that I am not aware of? <br />
A platonic collaboration where she is carrying his ass and keeping him in the black!<br />
<br />
I have a hydroponic garden in my CQ and all my 5 leaf clovers end with "SHE LOVES ME".<br />
It is fate I believe.<br />
<br />
Those of you who know me are aware that I wont be troubled by this little road bump name SARD CAID too long. <br />
<br />
If 3 is a crowd, I will figure a way to get that number to 2 real quick if you catch my drift.<br />
<br />
I got some homies that will pay you a visit Caid.<br />
Ay pobrecito when they finish with you cabron!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-GkLWKl94Q">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-GkLWKl94Q</a><br />
<br />
You know, I was thinking recently about life and its vagaries and challenges.<br />
It is incredible to me that despite the dazzling technology that permeates our NEW EDEN, we humanoids are still left to wrestle with lifes lowest common denominators, not the least of which is the primordial urge to procreate. <br />
<br />
The primitive fire in the loins that brings men and women together must be served.<br />
I am ready to settle down now.<br />
<br />
I need a "VIEJA" I can call my own.<br />
<br />
SUGAR KYLE, I am convinced is the ONE!<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVRTCKTJU5Q">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVRTCKTJU5Q</a><br />
<br />
I want to take you home to meet my MAMA Sugar.<br />
<br />
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I know you two will be great friends!<br />
Before I do, we need to get some things straight baby doll.<br />
<br />
I don't sign pre-nups. <br />
Forget that shit. <br />
If that is how you roll I may have to don my old "wifebeater" T-shirt and do some "indoctrination".<br />
<br />
Your shit will be mine. Okay? <br />
Me entiendes? <br />
<br />
Also, in case you don't know, I prefer Blondes so you might want to consider making a quick run for some blonde in a bottle formula. Ya Follow?<br />
<br />
I prefer longer hair as well? <br />
I have attached a picture you can use as a guide.<br />
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<br />
Get yourself ready honey. Your life is about to change.<br />
<br />
<br />
BTW, you gonna love New Cali Sugar!! East LA is freaking paradise!<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ1a_fUZYBo">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ1a_fUZYBo</a> <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/06/blue-light-special-or-be-my-dulcinea.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-06-17T15:14:00-07:00">3:14 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/06/blue-light-special-or-be-my-dulcinea.html#comment-form"> 5 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=2596521391956325896" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214034733im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /></a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-21195595501014360292014-08-11T12:40:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:40:37.161-07:00"Splendor in the Crass" OR "Stop regurgitating Gordon Wood!<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Saturday, May 25, 2013</h2>
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<br />
<br />
Carcel numero 478.<br />
Cell 95. (toilet not functioning)<br />
Pelille system.<br />
Station designation omitted for security purposes.<br />
Suspect has been granted spanish interpreter and has been given permission to conduct limited communications with "Jailhouse lawyer"<br />
Armando "cinco dedos" Tantoso.<br />
Three sheets of paper and writing implements provided in lieu of meal priveleges.<br />
Statement of LHORENZHO:<br />
(document redacted as necessary)<br />
<br />
TO: Honorable Judge Percy Ponzi<br />
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Dear Judge Ponzi,<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: medium;">An oven that is stopped, or river stayed,<br />Burneth more hotly, swelleth with more rage</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></strong><br />
What does the above quote portend or preface?<br />
Hell if I fucking know, but I sense it says something about my current feelings and it is an interesting segue into the topic I want to broach in this document. <br />
<br />
Also, it is my custom to invoke my beloved Bard when I can if for no other reason than to maintain some semblance of humanity and culture in this horrific wasteland.<br />
<br />
My dear judge, I am currently in custody, awaiting trial for insubordination and conduct unbecoming.<br />
<br />
I have been put in this cramped, damp, unheated cell by my nemesis.<br />
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<br />
<br />
We all have our white whales. <br />
Our Everests. <br />
Miura Bull is my eternal foil.<br />
That malicious fellow has been my adversary for years. <br />
<br />
Once again, due to his machinations,I have been forced to listen to the soul sapping clank of an iron door as it closes on yet another chapter in my tumultuous and chaotic life as a pirate in New Eden. <br />
<br />
Why didn't I stay in school? Forgive me NANA!!<br />
<br />
I must beg your forgiveness for any rambling or for any incoherence that may work itself into this paper. <br />
I must write briskly. <br />
The clock is ticking. <br />
<br />
Isolated confinement is generally not a pleasant experience, but in this case it serves me well, as I can gather my thoughts more readily and speak my mind and help that fool Armando prepare my defense.<br />
It will not be easy.<br />
My hands are shaking and cramping as I write. <br />
I am feverish and am coughing up blood tinged sputum.<br />
<br />
I am forced to scribble these few lines as quickly as possible under threat of torture should I exceed the 30 minute allotment of time provided.<br />
<br />
It was only an hour ago that the crippling Minmitar style handcuffs were removed.<br />
<br />
I was provided only a stub pencil, having been relieved of my classic Mont Blanc fountain Pen (A gift from my loyal aide Doroteo) by a sadistic female jailer known as Stinky Kate, a known paramour and appointed civil servant of Da Bulls.<br />
<br />
Sadly, the congenial and ever loyal Doroteo is unaccounted for and is presumed to have fallen victim to foul play of some sort.<br />
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<br />
<br />
I have been purposely deprived of replenishing sleep (I am subjected to loud recordings of the BULL's speeches 24/7), concubine visitations (not even discounted Amarr hookers?), toilet priveleges, and food and drink. <br />
<br />
My clothes are embarrassingly soiled and I reek of feces and urine. <br />
<br />
The cell corner is adorned with the malodorous remnants of my last good meal which these inhumane conditions have caused me to convulsively wretch forth. <br />
<br />
Yet there is a ray of sunlight in this dark nightmarish scenario.<br />
<br />
Yes,I have been effectively dehumanized by BULL's operatives in this facility. <br />
Yes, I have been denied access to adequate counsel, save for that shyster Armando, and yes I have been virtually incommunicado since my arrest.<br />
<br />
Yet, my Caldari spirit remains unbroken. <br />
<br />
It is intact. <br />
In fact is soars on wings of righteousness!<br />
<br />
If you will indulge me your HONOR, I will attempt to explain the circumstances that precipitated this sorry state of affairs.<br />
<br />
First, I want to make it clear that this memorandum is meant to give my version of what happened in the last 72 hours or so in the event Da Bull decides to proceed with disciplinary action, or more ominously for my future prospects of liberation, a full summary court martial. <br />
<br />
He has sworn to finish me once and for all, and I take him at his word.<br />
<br />
In essence, this memo will serve to function as my defacto deposition statement. <br />
My saving interrogatory. Please read it carefully sir.<br />
<br />
I must say my piece now.<br />
<br />
Whether it is ever disseminated to my designated recipients remains to be seen. <br />
I pray it does your honor. <br />
One can only hope that some vestige of judicial oversight and review of criminal matters is still available in this hinterland.<br />
<br />
I hope to find myself in your wise court and sooner rather than later dear Judge.<br />
<br />
On to the narrative. <br />
<br />
Three days ago, during a quick mandatory meeting of SKRMR personnel in conference room 213 A, I chose, perhaps unwisely, to confront our leader, the mercurial, and inimitable Miura Bull, regarding his steadfast, bullheaded insistence that we, each and every member of the Screaming Hayabusa's, conform without question or contemplation to his newly revised corporate MISSION STATEMENT!<br />
<br />
Yes, you heard right dear Judge. <br />
<br />
A fucking MISSION STATEMENT! <br />
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<br />
<br />
Something unheard of in our times and only referenced or written about, at least to my knowledge, in musty old museuem copies of the HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW! <br />
<br />
Pirates and Mission statements! <br />
The consumnate ODD COUPLE wouldn't you say dear judge.<br />
My thoughts exactly. <br />
<br />
My suspicions were raised the moment I first caught wind Bull was considering this tactic.<br />
<br />
Let me tell you the first iteration of that bullshit document was bad enough. <br />
The REVISED MISSSON STATEMENT was simply unpalatable.<br />
<br />
The anti-thesis of every majestic document ever produced by man in this or any other universe.<br />
I had every reason, dear magistrate, to take issue with its contents.<br />
<br />
Yet, Da Bull, for some inexplicable reason, was proud of this piece and was resistant to any suggestion that he table his intentions to use it as our corporate compass.<br />
<br />
Frankly, your honor, it was a fucking litany of points and clauses, and <br />
sub-standard legalese that any numbskull could see was intended to direct, control, manipulate, and beguile his impressionable corp members. (Again I ask your indulgence for the expletives as I tend to slip into the vulgar vernacular of the street when stressed)<br />
<br />
I know what a traditional mission statement is judge. They served their purpose those many eons ago.<br />
<br />
This document, however, was a means to ends that I could already see were not in our best interests.<br />
<br />
There is a reason Miura Bull "left" the Black Rebel Rifter club and the Devil's Tattoo alliance.<br />
<br />
His control over the corporation was dissipating quickly and had frankly been significantly and wisely diluted by the saintly and benevolent Peri Simone and others who saw fit to sieze that entity away from a man who was clearly no longer fit to lead due to his increasingly depraved nature.<br />
<br />
I was familiar with his many frailties and shortcomings. <br />
<br />
Yet, I am forced to wrestle with an incongruity that many feel compelled to point out to me.<br />
<br />
Why, they ask and so might you dear learned judge, did I, knowing what I know about this fellow, choose to follow him to Pelille, and more importantly, why did I choose to join his Screaming Hayabusas?<br />
<br />
In hindsight, it was one of the collosal blunders of my life.<br />
QUE BARBARIDAD!!<br />
<br />
I know. <br />
One must come to court with clean hands and my affiliation with this ruffian has certainly dirtied mine. <br />
<br />
Do not hold that fact against me. <br />
Decide on the merits of the case your honor. I implore you.<br />
I do not mean to insult you sir but rumors circulate that you recieve a "stipend" from a notorious scoundrel and I am a bit concerned.<br />
He has laughed in my presence when your name is mentioned and I heard him say something about "so many nickels and dimes".<br />
<br />
Most of my current beloved corpmates, are unfortunately easily swayed by fancy starched dress uniforms (especially that fucking VINNY) and a puffed out chest arrayed with rows of shiny medals.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I, on the other hand am not inclined to genuflect at the sight of some military decorations. <br />
<br />
I am an avowed iconoclast. <br />
I am NOT a hero worshipper. <br />
<br />
Leaders can be seriously flawed.<br />
<br />
But, I am a realist as well.<br />
<br />
Unlike others, I do not push my personal code of conduct on others.<br />
<br />
I believe in following the righteous path while resisting the urge to embrace silly puritanical notions of behavior.<br />
<br />
Yes, by all means say I, drink, carouse, fornicate, smoke, cheat, lie and decieve, abuse drugs, practice gluttony, sadism, masochism, and Murder. <br />
<br />
Those are the ten commandments of piracy.<br />
<br />
But do them in a NOBLE fashion.<br />
ANYTHING can be done with class! <br />
There is elegance in all things if one knows where to look.<br />
<br />
I have lived my life, dear judge, by this credo.<br />
I am no angel by any stretch of the imagination, but right is right.<br />
<br />
I took this mindset and this philosophy into that fateful meeting in room 213A and I spoke up because it was the honorable thing to do.<br />
<br />
What we all HATE, however, and I am sure you would agree sir, is being CONTROLLED.<br />
<br />
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<br />
A pirates essence, his embodiment, his alpha and his omega, his personification if you will, is his INDEPENDENCE!<br />
<br />
Who dares to wrestle that quintessential attribute away from a pirate?<br />
MIURA fucking BULL. That is who.<br />
Thus this conflict and these unfortunate developments!<br />
But I digress sir.<br />
<br />
Back to the meeting in 213A.<br />
It was obvious from the collective body language of those corpies present that they were NEVER going to oppose the BULL on ANY issue, despite the fact that some had in confidence, expressed to me their dismay at the revised MISSION statement. <br />
<br />
Hell, they were stunned and surprised to see the first version!!<br />
<br />
Nogusha, Vincent, Luna, Logan, and all the rest of the numbered membership had (the Bull has removed the use of names as designators) at one point or another bitterly complained to me in private about this MISSION STATEMENT!<br />
<br />
Yet, in the BULL's presence, they fell mute. <br />
<br />
Cowed, no doubt, by his reputation for intemperate Nubian Ferocity.<br />
<br />
The dude IS scary your honor.<br />
<br />
Yet, people are drawn to him and choose to be his minions.<br />
<br />
I would not be too smug BULL for history has shown that even the most depraved iniquitous killers have garnered their followers (Think Richard Ramirez and Jeffrey Dahmer both of who recieved numerous marriage proposals and in Dahmers case even exchanged recipes for "exotic" delights with or without Fava beans)<br />
<br />
During the meeting it was obvious the group was still uncomfortable with the new dictates.<br />
Their eyes were downcast. <br />
They were shuffling from one foot to the other. Nerves were frayed. <br />
<br />
Our delicious Luna's succulent breasts heaved, her breathing quickened, as her internal strife grew.<br />
Her ambivalence was palpable.<br />
She was clearly torn. <br />
I could see it and believe me I looked closely at those breasts! <br />
They heaved mightily.<br />
I even looked a second time and still they heaved.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Nogusha held the latest copy of that fucking document in his hand but refused to read it. <br />
A trifling splinter of a protest at least but not nearly enough.<br />
<br />
Vinny, well, he was off in the corner looking for a buff cloth to polish up the BULL's hardware!!<br />
Damn you R'lyeh!<br />
<br />
SPEAK UP CABRONES I wanted to yell!!<br />
<br />
I have NEVER been one to hold my tongue (especially after imbibing a case of my favorite processed imitation Mexican Cerveza).<br />
<br />
I could no longer curb my anger.<br />
These poor creatures! <br />
<br />
I had to speak! <br />
<br />
I didn't even raise my hand as the BULL requires and has demanded in the past we do before addressing him.<br />
Arrogant fucker!<br />
<br />
Filled with a righteous rage, adrenalin, and combat boosters (I have a prescription but have misplaced it judge), I jumped on the nearest chair and with raised arms screamed out...."BASTA!!!!" <br />
<br />
"ENOUGH!!"<br />
<br />
NORMA RAE, the ancient Earth union activist would have been proud! <br />
<br />
Dear Judicial tribune, can I really be held accountable for such an inspired reaction to injustice? <br />
<br />
CONTROL FREAKISM must be stopped!<br />
"Vato you are wrong ese!!", I yelled. <br />
"Esto es pura pinche mierda Cabron!"<br />
(Loosely translated as.."This is bullshit" your honor)<br />
<br />
I made it clear,through my outburst dear judge, that I considered his unwavering and wholly inflexible position that we take each and every clause in that document to heart and practice its precepts with mindless monastic devotion as unacceptable.<br />
We are pirates for crying out loud, not interns at some entrepreneurial Caldari startup!<br />
<br />
A fucking MISSION STATEMENT Bull? <br />
Really? We know its all about control.<br />
Thats how I truly felt. He has always forged ahead with policies meant to stifle independent thought. <br />
<br />
Standing there in the conference room, I had decided to make one final grandiose unequivocal and unambiguous statement for the benefit of my beleagured corpies.<br />
Your honor, THIS WAS THE HILL I WAS PREPARED TO DIE ON!!! <br />
FUCK IT! Firing squad or not. Jail time or not. Severed limbs or not. <br />
<br />
"Dammit NO!" I continued.<br />
Yes, I raised my voice to our CEO.<br />
The record will show that I was drunk.<br />
I do not deny that.<br />
We were drinking shots of cheap tequila dear judge and I was unfortunately inebriated.<br />
It emboldened me to do something impulsive. <br />
Honorable in its intent but impulsive and dangerous nevertheless.<br />
<br />
But do not be mistaken. I WOULD HAVE DONE WHAT I DID drunk or not.<br />
<br />
I crumpled that piece of paper, that outrageous MISSION STATEMENT and threw it like SANDY KOUFAX (an ancient earth athlete renown for the velocity of his hurled spheres) in Da Bull's direction!<br />
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<br />
<br />
Yes, with any luck, I might have taken one of his beady eyes out!<br />
<br />
Testimony will clearly show that I also yelled, "Ay te va Cabron!" There it is punk!"<br />
I will not deny it.<br />
<br />
As they say in that old adage, you could have cut the tension in that room with a fucking Amarr assassins knife!<br />
There was a collective gasp from the membership. <br />
They stepped back and I was suddenly facing the BULL alone. <br />
ALONE YOUR HONOR!<br />
<br />
Ay caramba!<br />
<br />
Had I overplayed my fucking hand?<br />
<br />
<br />
Our history suggested that I might have indeed done just that!<br />
The support I had expected from my corpies did NOT materialize.<br />
Why not you might ask.<br />
<br />
Well, its is complicated your honor.<br />
<br />
You see, over time, my incessant need to correct what I consider to be his chronic managerial missteps, have given him ample ammunition to paint me into a corner by characterizing me as a "quirky" persona, an inveterate complainer, a "CHILLON" as my grandmother used to call me, who is not to be taken seriously.<br />
<br />
He has in essence turned me, at least in the eyes of others, into a silly, pathetic, eccentric caricature of what a true capsuleer should be.<br />
And he has cleverly given me enough rope to hang myself. <br />
<br />
He is BRILLIANT this BULL.<br />
<br />
In private, he has dared to call me bombastic! <br />
He hurls invectives at me like there is no tomorrow.<br />
He labels me undisciplined and unreliable!<br />
I am, he says, a personal distraction to him and a blight on our corporate landscape! <br />
(I swear the last time he verbally lambasted me my hand moved ever so resolutely toward my sidearm! I was almost ready to sling it! Unfortunately I had run out of tequila!)<br />
<br />
He has threatened me with purging and expulsion from the corporation and has promised me numerous times while writing me up for petty violations, that he will do everything in his power to see that I never get even 1 lousy ISK of my meager capsuleers pension! <br />
<br />
(You fucking Bastard! I should have stabbed you in the fucking back last year after you passed out at the corp picnic!)<br />
<br />
Forgive that rant your honor but I truly believe the universe would be a better place without this PIRATE.<br />
Please be aware dear judge, that all this "discipline" is done out of earshot of others. <br />
That is an important point to remember your judgeship.<br />
<br />
Publicly he holds his tongue, choosing to present to his many minions the impression that he is an "enlightened leader" who only responds in measured terms after careful analysis and consideration of all points of dispute. <br />
PURO PINCHE PEDO!<br />
<br />
HOGWASH!<br />
<br />
The fucker deserves an academy award for his performance.<br />
(Yes I have some built up resentment. So what. That did not color my actions.)<br />
I vowed that someday, I would force him to show his true colors by calling him out in public. <br />
A dangerous move some would say, but a move I was now prepared to make.<br />
Standing on that rickety unstable squeaky office chair, I was certain, my moment of glory had finally come.<br />
<br />
Death to the BULL and death to his confounded MISSION STATEMENT!<br />
<br />
CALL OR RAISE?<br />
Would I get any support from the others, given the way Da Bull had cleverly managed to erode my reputation over time.<br />
Would the others rally to the eccentric's defense if things got ugly?<br />
The answer to that question was a resounding NO.<br />
<br />
I looked around the room your honor and found myself without moral support.<br />
All my corpies were looking at the light fixtures and whistling.<br />
<br />
I was alone in this.<br />
<br />
I TOPPLED NOISILY FROM THE CHAIR!<br />
<br />
I stood up quickly and attempted to compose myself and regain my dignity your honor.<br />
<br />
As I stated above, Da Bull as is his customary modus operandi, was relatively silent, choosing to utter only a few carefully chosen innocuous statements in response to my actions. <br />
<br />
"What is wrong Dearest Lhorenzho?", he purred.<br />
You see my dilemna judge?<br />
<br />
No. I knew the painful truth.<br />
<br />
His "retribution" would be delivered later and in stealth mode, out of earshot of those who he wishes to continue to deceive.<br />
<br />
The meeting was adjourned and as we shuffled out of that brightly lit conference room in single file, DA BULL called my name.<br />
<br />
"LHORENZHO, will you wait for just a second. This won't take long! By the way, I need you to pick up that chair."<br />
<br />
That was 72 hours ago.<br />
<br />
And so, here I am dear Judge, in this hellish enclosure, throwing myself on the benevolent mercy of your enlightened court.<br />
<br />
That MISSION STATEMENT, like so many other historic writings, some splendid in their inspiration and others not so admirable, has fomented a firestorm in our sector and has in particular impacted my public and private life as a carefree capsuleer.<br />
<br />
Can you please help me?<br />
<br />
No matter what you ultimately decide to do about dispensing with my case, I implore you to immediately and without haste convene a tribunal to examine and investigate the activities of this BULL character.<br />
<br />
As that great ancient earth philosopher Martina Mcbride so eloquently cooed, LET FREEDOM RING!!<br />
<br />
Who knows your honor, the next knock you hear may be at your chamber door!<br />
<br />
CC - Sue Derpantsoff Esq.<br />
Pator Tech station<br />
Molden Heath <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214042616/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214042616/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/05/splendor-in-crass-or-stop-regurgitating.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-05-25T13:04:00-07:00">1:04 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214042616/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/05/splendor-in-crass-or-stop-regurgitating.html#comment-form"> 5 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214042616/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=1620908420452798066" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214042616im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-80459023928304405002014-08-11T12:40:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:40:14.080-07:00AVA - Epilogue<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Tuesday, March 5, 2013</h2>
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<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<strong><em>"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale</em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><strong><em>her infinite variety. </em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><strong><em>Other women cloy</em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><strong><em>the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry</em></strong><br />
<strong><em></em></strong><strong><em>where most she satisfies" -</em></strong> <br />
<br />
<div>
I have been inundated both in game and out with requests from various individuals who have insisted in an unhealthy, rather troubling, voyeuristic manner that I provide a follow up on the situation I described in an earlier communication.</div>
<br />
<div>
Specifically, that whole public proclamation of my undying love for Ava Starfire. </div>
<div>
</div>
I get it, people are intrigued by the age old question. <br />
Did the cholo get the girl?<br />
<br />
All I can say at this time is that the chess match continues.<br />
<br />
But really, those are private matters between me and my paramour.<br />
I say paramour my dear AVA not because you are committing an indiscretion, but rather because my "divorce is pending" and I am technically still attached to another. My 5th marriage should be history shortly. HONEST.<br />
<br />
As I was saying, this stuff is private.<br />
<div>
The last thing I wanted was to turn my secret longings for this damsel into a public spectacle.</div>
<br />
<div>
Some of you have requested that I provide more lurid details of my romantic quest. </div>
That will not happen.<br />
<div>
I am a gentleman.</div>
<div>
In fact, I was going to move forward without further comment, until I was confronted with yet another problem stemming from my very public proclamation of love for that space siren.</div>
<br />
<div>
</div>
<div>
Apparently due to my careless indiscretion, events have been set in motion that now force my hand, and now time is of the essence and I must move quickly and resolutely, to claim my prize.</div>
<br />
<div>
Let me briefly explain.</div>
<br />
<div>
I was holed up in one of my secret itinerant enclaves in Molden Heath,(I never sleep in the same place twice) enjoying some bootleg libations, puffing on hallucinogenic tobacco products, barbecuing Pig Clone "tripas" (The choice cuts from the New East Los Angeles village #2 in TENAL), and chatting with one of my henchman, "Tranquilino Fregado", when he shocked me with an unexpected inquiry.</div>
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqB0IRGnS2VKoDSe2CPuRbDe3q_6EZVEGDrMr7m6v_2Vn5y1QouZDMoXfKlhzqZnCyWpqWN5518FVnaEdSw7Yy6GULYHxMciTgO3TyrKH9L0RjC2oGy4FowqP095bthRQ7ROgQpZPc0W8/s1600/tripas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqB0IRGnS2VKoDSe2CPuRbDe3q_6EZVEGDrMr7m6v_2Vn5y1QouZDMoXfKlhzqZnCyWpqWN5518FVnaEdSw7Yy6GULYHxMciTgO3TyrKH9L0RjC2oGy4FowqP095bthRQ7ROgQpZPc0W8/s1600/tripas.jpg" /></a>(tripas ready for the grill...que ricas!)</div>
<div>
</div>
<br />
<div>
"Jefe", he said to me while chewing the rubbery tripas loudly, "I thought friends were supposed to treat you with respect and help you find happiness?"</div>
<br />
<div>
He had a smirk on his face.</div>
<br />
<div>
I spit out a mouthful of pig guts and looked at Tranqui.</div>
<br />
<div>
I was stunned by his penetrating question, so full of insight and prescience, and coming from one who I had always discounted as a mere automaton subservient who could be replaced at a moments notice.</div>
<br />
<div>
I paused for a moment, trying to compose myself and wracking my brain in an effort to discern what it might have been that caused him to say what he did. </div>
<br />
<div>
This "menso" was usually as dense as a GREAT WILDLANDS Rockfish.</div>
<br />
<div>
His out of character comment also prompted me to make a mental note to keep an eye on him as his unexpected savvy might require that he turn up missing someday. </div>
<br />
<div>
Probably later today.</div>
<br />
<div>
I NEVER want my "MUSCLE" to be too cerebral. </div>
<br />
<div>
"What is troubling you Tranqui and how do you know I am not getting respect or that I am not happy?" </div>
<br />
<div>
I puffed vigorously on my blunt and waited for an answer.</div>
<br />
<div>
"Well patron, I heard you telling that diseased hooker Cuca that the pinche cabron Miura Bull was trying to steal your girlfriend. You know that AVA ruca! She is muy buena Patron! TIENE TREMENDO CULO like PitBull sings in that oldies cancion. Muy caliente! You get all the best viejas jefe!"</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2N7POlWaEE">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2N7POlWaEE</a></div>
<br />
<div>
He caught himself, sensing that he was being too effusively enthusiastic in his praise of the lovely AVA.</div>
<br />
<div>
"You want me to take an extermination team out and take that desgraciado Bull out?" He looked at me with eager imploring eyes.</div>
<br />
<div>
He was known as a particularily brutal killer who relished making his victims squeal.</div>
<br />
<div>
"Tranqui", I whispered, "first of all, Da Bull will kill you, but what I really want to know is if you have ever taken any action on your own without me knowing about it?" </div>
<br />
<div>
"NO, jefe, nunca! Me and Felix were loading some supplies in the hangar and just happened to hear you talking to CUCA through the air vent. Also, we read some stuff on your communicator device that was written by that vato BULL. I think that dude wants to beat your time with AVA ese!" </div>
<br />
<div>
Yes, this dolt had seen his last sunrise indeed!</div>
<br />
<div>
I made eye contact with my lead man and "troubleshooter", Celestino Matanza, and nodded almost imperceptibly at Tranquilino.</div>
The order had been given. <br />
The busybody Tranquilino was finished.<br />
<br />
<div>
But first, I had to glean more information and insight from this loquacious lackey.</div>
<br />
<div>
"What do you suggest I do about AVA, Tranqui?"</div>
I was not patronizing the dunce. I really was curious to hear his advice.<br />
<br />
He leaned into me, his breath reeking of rancid ceviche and whispered, "Just take the woman Jefe! When you want the money you just take the money! When you want the food you just take the food! If you want the woman you just take the woman! Just take the woman Jefe!!"<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIDZvuag7Yg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIDZvuag7Yg</a><br />
<br />
<div>
"You are an idiot Tranqui!", I screamed. I could feel my face turn red.</div>
<br />
<div>
"Have you been watching THE THREE AMIGOS again!"</div>
<br />
<div>
I was beginning to regret questioning this imbecile further.</div>
<br />
<div>
"Estupido! Don't you realize that you cannot force open the petals of a flower! When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you! Now get back to work vavoso and get out of my sight!"</div>
<br />
<div>
I exhaled loudly. </div>
These idiots were trying my patience.<br />
<br />
<div>
Feeling suddenly famished, I made my way to the serving table.</div>
<br />
<div>
Our last raiding party had been very lucrative. </div>
<br />
<div>
The bounty on display on the table was ready testament to that fact.</div>
<br />
<div>
The best part was that we took this loot and provisions from under the very noses of KAEDA MAXWELL's Crimson Reach cronys!</div>
<br />
<div>
You ain't as smart as you think KAEDA!!</div>
<br />
<div>
I grabbed an ice cold gallente beer, spooned a heaping portion of GALLINA MOLE estilo Amamake onto my plate, palmed a pack of synthetic menthol cigarrettes and made my way slowly to the temporary quarters I maintained on site.</div>
<br />
<div>
I had to think and I needed to be alone.</div>
<br />
<div>
As I entered my quarters, my mind was racing. </div>
So many conflicting emotions. <br />
<br />
<div>
Love, betrayal, desire, hate, lust, incompetent underlings, ambivalence, gassy heartburn from the TRIPAS, fear, confusion!</div>
<br />
<div>
CUCA was asleep on my cot. </div>
She stirred and looked at me. <br />
I motioned for her to get out.<br />
She knew better than to question me!<br />
She grabbed the coins on the nightstand and scurried out without bothering to put her clothes on.<br />
<br />
<div>
I had a problem for sure and it wasn't CUCA's recent positive STD test results.</div>
<br />
<div>
A group of poseurs, no doubt emboldened by my intrepid pronunciations of love, had suddenly come out of the woodwork, and they had likewise publicly confessed to being emotionally drawn to the bewitching AVA STARFIRE! </div>
<div>
Beauty can be such a curse right honey?</div>
<br />
<div>
Lhorenzho, I told myself, its time to put the FULL COURT PRESS on AVA!!</div>
<br />
<div>
It was time to go back to being that hard charger who never hesitated to take action when needed! </div>
<br />
<div>
You must bowl over these pretenders who dare compete with you for her hand I told myself.</div>
<br />
<div>
Not that I was too worried about the competition.</div>
<br />
<div>
ANTS AT A PICNIC! </div>
Little humanoid trinkets to be flicked off my lapel like so many errant breadcrumbs.<br />
<br />
<div>
I just had to be careful that when I disposed of these wannabe Don Juans that I did it in a manner that would not reflect badly on me. </div>
AVA could never hear anything bad about me. <br />
<div>
No! That had to be avoided at all costs.</div>
Always put on airs my abuelita CHENCHA always told me. <br />
I still live by that rule.<br />
<br />
<div>
You never know the real me until its too fucking late.</div>
<br />
<div>
I love you AVA!!</div>
<br />
<div>
Women are God's gift to be sure, but they can be strange creatures. </div>
They are driven by emotions, feelings, and that kind of fluffy shit, and have a tendency to get distracted as many of you fuckers know. <br />
Their pretty little heads can get confused when too many options are presented.<br />
<br />
<div>
You have to keep it simple for the babes.</div>
<br />
<div>
I had to put the spotlight back on me.</div>
Her heart had to beat quickly only for me.<br />
<br />
<div>
I had to be front and center again and these intrusive pseudo lotharios were cramping my style! </div>
<br />
<div>
Two of the Johnny come latelies who were crying out to AVA for attention were former corpmates of mine.</div>
<div>
</div>
One was Korvus. <br />
One of my "amigos" would be visiting his duplicitous ass tonite and there would be an accident in his quarters.<br />
Who forgot to put out the "WET FLOOR" signs?<br />
<br />
<div>
I had a bigger problem than KORVUS.</div>
<br />
<div>
That fucking nemesis of mine, the pirate ruffian, Miura Bull had come out of left field with a corny quasi-poetic confession of love for AVA. </div>
<div>
The fucker blindsided me!</div>
<br />
<div>
Yes, I knew about his amorous profession even before hearing that fool Tranqui speak about it.</div>
<br />
<div>
HERE IS WHAT Da BULL had the audacity to write:</div>
<strong>Miura BullMarch 2, 2013 at 3:48 PM</strong><br />
<strong> Would this be a terrible time to reveal that there is another admirer? </strong><br />
<strong> I remember a time long ago when I danced with Ava under the full red moon of a milky Heimatar sky. Autocannons kissing the black void as fires erupted around our Rifters--the air crackling with excitement. I was smitten from that very moment ... and as my ship exploded in a ball of love and wreckage I sat there frozen. Time stopped. Like the ending to a tragic play I longed for the ultimate seduction under the glowing buzz of a warp scrambler. The seduction never came and my heart was broken and scattered across the wreckage. In that moment of teenage-crush-like admiration of my foe I will be for ever haunted of the waking in the clone vat. A new heart was beating but it still held a previous longing.</strong> <br />
<br />
<div>
<strong> SUCH BULLSHIT!!!</strong></div>
<br />
<div>
Here was a man, this Miura Bull, who more than once called me his mentor, his confidante and who also, in a moment of candid weakness, while in a drunken stupor, dared to refer to me as a father figure!</div>
<br />
<div>
EMBUSTERO!!!! (big liar for you gringo types)</div>
I could never be PAPA to such an ingrate!<br />
<br />
<div>
Once I went public with my feelings, his most acceptable action, if he was truly a friend, would have been to step back out of the limelight and volunteer to act as my "wing man" and facilitate my efforts to win the heart of the enchanting AVA.</div>
<br />
<div>
Instead, I find he has thrown his oversized hat into the ring! </div>
<br />
<div>
He hopes to woo her and win her hand out from under me! </div>
<br />
<div>
That delusional motherfucker!!</div>
<br />
<div>
What in heaven's name has him convinced that he can win the heart of this paragon of womanhood?</div>
<br />
<div>
Does he have some compromising videotape(s) that he is holding over her head?</div>
<br />
<div>
At one time I heard that the only way he could get off was under an INFRARED light! </div>
<div>
</div>
The guy has always been a dreamer this BULL.<br />
A mere "blogger" type whose most illustrious accomplishments are penned contrivances and embellishments put on parchment. <br />
He lives his life on an 8 1/2 x 11 surface!!<br />
He has never truly lived like I have. <br />
<br />
<div>
What can he offer her that I cannot provide TEN times over?</div>
<br />
<div>
I offer AVA eclectic life experiences, oodles and oodles of ISK, the most luxurious furs from Geminate, potent intravenous drugs from OUTER PASSAGE, ships of the highest caliber and top of the line primo quality fittings, and as if that impressive litany of material goods was not enough, I bring to the boudoir, the piece de resistance, an encyclopedic knowledge of the KAMA SUTRA, 52nd edition, the one that incorporates Penile overlay devices!</div>
<br />
<div>
Ay chihuahua, you would be living the dream with me AVA!!</div>
<br />
<div>
Also, frankly, this BuLL is almost as barbaric and crude as some of my flunkies.</div>
<br />
<div>
What kind of dinner table conversation could he possibly provide?</div>
How soon would it take an intellectually gifted woman like AVA to tire of this troglodyte like BULL character?<br />
<br />
<div>
His public utterances have proven that he cannot walk the fine line that demarcates gentlemanly comments about a lady and outright disparaging affront!</div>
<br />
<div>
Look at how he described his RIFTER combat encounter with my AVA up above.</div>
<br />
<div>
He used risque almost vulgar terminology.</div>
His words were at once both offensively tawdry and depraved.<br />
He waxed poetic about his subsequent podding at her hands as if our delicate flower was some space dominatrix who helped him achieve some celestial orgasmic eruption! <br />
<br />
<div>
COCHINO!! Filthy filthy punk!!</div>
<div>
</div>
The kicker is that this supposed encounter happened in some "Milky Heimatar Sky". <br />
His words not mine! <br />
<br />
<div>
Really BULL? </div>
Milky? <br />
As in perky, supple, succulent breasts?<br />
You are nasty vato!<br />
<br />
<div>
You crossed the line fucker! You owe her an apology!</div>
You claim you danced with her? <br />
<br />
<div>
What exactly are you implying by that cryptic analogy pray tell? DANCED?</div>
<br />
<div>
I can tell you maintain an unhealthy relationship with women my young friend!</div>
<div>
You harbor a lot of resentment against chicks I can tell.</div>
Please don't tell me you are mired in some psychoanalytic web where women are only viewed as either whores or Madonnas?<br />
<br />
<div>
That is a twisted way to view fucking broads dude!!</div>
<br />
<div>
She will never forgive your clumsiness in speech and when she seeks comfort I will be there to provide tender solace.</div>
<br />
<div>
Look, I have been around a long time.</div>
I have had a long line of clones that trace a lineage back a millenia. <br />
I have had the pleasure of cleaving with other notable females named AVA. (a beautiful name which <br />
incidentally for the benefit of you yokels means LIFE)<br />
<br />
<div>
The AVA GARDNER clone from the 25th century of ancient earth was but one who often tripped the light fantastic with me, at least until that fucking SINATRA was reconstituted, however, none had the impact on me that this my latest fixation has had on me.</div>
<br />
<div>
She will be mine.</div>
It's gonna happen.<br />
<br />
<div>
This I swear!</div>
<br />
<div>
But first, I have some ants to kill!</div>
<br />
<div>
P.S. I almost forgot.</div>
Here is a treat for you dear AVA. <br />
A palindromic Haiku I penned just for you!<br />
I call it "OBSESSION".<br />
<br />
<div>
<strong><em>AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA</em></strong></div>
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<div>
<strong><em>AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA</em></strong></div>
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<div>
<strong><em>AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA, AVA</em></strong></div>
<br />
<div>
</div>
<br />
<div>
YOU LIKE?</div>
<br />
<div>
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/03/ava-epilogue.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-03-05T18:30:00-08:00">6:30 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/03/ava-epilogue.html#comment-form"> 11 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=4564529510018660274" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /></a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-59233889829717102912014-08-11T12:39:00.002-07:002014-08-11T12:39:55.800-07:00Cyrano De Bergerac or LOVE ME 2 times<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Saturday, March 2, 2013</h2>
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Well, I am in another dilemna, a pickle as we say in the USA, and once again sadly the repercussions are of my own doing. <br />
I have fallen in love again and have, as is my custom, messed up and have perhaps irreparably botched the communication process in a way that may never allow me to win the heart of my EVE heart throb. <br />
Many of you know that I have in the past, fallen and fallen hard for some of the beauties that can be found in this UNIVERSE. <br />
<br />
At one time, I had it bad for Lady Shaniqua, but her aloofness toward me turned me off a bit, not to mention that she was charging me 500 million per chat! <br />
BITCH!<br />
<br />
The worse part was that it came to my attention that she was playing "the crying game" if you catch my drift, and that made it hard for me to press on with the courtship.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0qVhhIfWr4">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0qVhhIfWr4</a><br />
<br />
I also was taken by several beauties in my own former corporation (THE BLACK REBEL RIFTER CLUB), but was warned by that fucking Miura Bull that it was against company policy to make a move on one of our own chicks, and so I was forced to take a lot of cold fucking showers for a spell. <br />
Not to mention that Logan LaMort, the boyfriend of one of my cupcakes threatened to KICK MY ASS, unless I stopped pestering his woman, the exotically beautiful Luna Lafisque.<br />
I hear ya man. Just don't hit me again please!!<br />
<br />
They say the best antidote for crushing on the wrong women is finding a NEW crush, and I have done that! <br />
Her name is AVA STARFIRE!!!!!<br />
<br />
She finally spoke to me the other day, and since that moment, I have been on cloud nine.<br />
The old Herman's Hermit's song has been resonating in my head all week.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxDh2sYQRpo">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxDh2sYQRpo</a><br />
<br />
She is sensational is she not??<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://evewho.com/pilot/Ava+Starfire">http://evewho.com/pilot/Ava+Starfire</a><br />
I have not been able to sleep for weeks and now that she has looked my way, I am besides myself in anticipation of what may come my way.<br />
<br />
Not only is this doll a beauty, she is also a killer pilot, and a primo blogger. <br />
Here is a link to her blog, which incidentally I read and reread everyday! <br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://avastarfire.blogspot.com/">http://avastarfire.blogspot.com/</a><br />
<br />
Some may find this strange but I have my captain's quarters plastered with copies of her blog to the point that the fucking station boss is on my ass to take the makeship wallpaper down!!<br />
FUCK HIM!!<br />
That's my baby dammit.<br />
El papel se queda!!!!<br />
<br />
In any event, as I was saying up above, I have a problem.<br />
<br />
I am not being totally honest or candid with you when I say that she has spoken to me.<br />
I can be timid at times around hot chicks. <br />
I get a little tongue tied and have a tendency to babble and sweat. <br />
I am sure many of you experience the same symptoms on occasion.<br />
<br />
Recently, it came to my attention that a punkish rogue named Strhyke Cantaso also has the hots for my baby doll. Frankly, the guy is no threat. He is an unrefined brute, to say the least, but he is quite aggressive around the ladies. <br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://evewho.com/pilot/Strhyke+Cantaso">http://evewho.com/pilot/Strhyke+Cantaso</a><br />
<br />
On a lark, I made it a point to strike up a conversation with the vato in our local cantina last night and we came to an agreement of sorts. <br />
I would write up some sweet nothings for him to send Ava and he would be the messenger so to speak. <br />
<br />
<br />
Like Cyrano did so many eons ago, I would use this opportunity to express my true feelings to AVA and then when the time came, I would deftly out maneuver the punk Cantaso and reveal myself as the real architect behind the love notes. <br />
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVqOh44DIHy2axlBTJl_JCPbZmZz9IdItcD0QM97CSK54n_1bt7bvheRXmt1XMhZhBkrOc6PAhR12j3q46Liql4NTHlBZeFd07565of3yeKhd8K1nNdG0RCqNK-IhHNXwORg4rOZw4zOw/s1600/imagesCAWEUUB7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVqOh44DIHy2axlBTJl_JCPbZmZz9IdItcD0QM97CSK54n_1bt7bvheRXmt1XMhZhBkrOc6PAhR12j3q46Liql4NTHlBZeFd07565of3yeKhd8K1nNdG0RCqNK-IhHNXwORg4rOZw4zOw/s1600/imagesCAWEUUB7.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
AVA would then open her eyes and fall madly in love with me on the spot!! <br />
Brilliant plan Lho you genius!<br />
Easy Peasy! Right!<br />
<br />
I mean, seriously, If a damsel had to choose between this hood rat Cantaso and yours truly, a worldly, educated, exorbitantly wealthy gentleman, there would be no contest right? Of course not!<br />
<br />
The only reason I am posting this publicly is to get some feedback from you humanoids out there on how best to play my "reveal".<br />
<br />
Below, you will find some of the communications I penned for this Cantaso fucker.<br />
<br />
Naturally, I had to make it believable to AVA that this uneducated moron was writing this stuff so I have dumbed it down a bit, while still providing some elegance that this fool would never be capable of producing when left to his own devices. <br />
<br />
He is a block head believe me. I even got him to pick up the tab at the bar. SUCKA!!<br />
<br />
Where was I.<br />
Yes, AVA!!!!!<br />
I need some suggestions on how best to reveal to AVA that Lhorenzho is the real architect behind these mails without having her feel decieved and manipulated.<br />
I CANNOT blow this chance with AVA!!<br />
<br />
Also, if some of you care to venture a guess at what her feelings may be toward me, or should I say Cantaso, by reading between the lines of her short terse comments please feel free to tell me. <br />
Have we really peaked her interest or is sweet AVA being nice?<br />
I gotta know!!<br />
Well, I have rambled enough. <br />
The emails sent by Cantaso are below:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Re: Re: Re: AVA IS ONLINE and all is well with the Universe.<br />
From: Ava Starfire<br />
Sent: 2013.03.02 17:44<br />
To: Strhyke Cantaso, <br />
Adios. Hasta.<br />
--------------------------------<br />
Re: Re: AVA IS ONLINE and all is well with the Universe.<br />
From: Strhyke Cantaso<br />
Sent: 2013.03.02 17:44<br />
To: Ava Starfire, <br />
My heart, wildly it beats.<br />
That steel cold razor, sharp and deadly that was to trace a path across my wrist has seen its deadly action stayed, merely by one word from you my love. <br />
Thoughts of ending this life without you have been stemmed, at least for the moment.<br />
I will cherish the thought that you at least know I exist and will continue my wretched existence in hopes that some day you may grace me with another comment. <br />
To venerate you from afar is preferable to not being in your thoughts at all.<br />
I could die happy today, knowing that your luscious brain neurons have at least once created a thought, fleeting though it may be, of me, your eternal admirer and humble servant Strykhe Cantaso. <br />
Adios mi linda!<br />
--------------------------------<br />
Re: AVA IS ONLINE and all is well with the Universe.<br />
From: Ava Starfire<br />
Sent: 2013.03.02 17:40<br />
To: Strhyke Cantaso, <br />
Thanks?<br />
--------------------------------<br />
AVA IS ONLINE and all is well with the Universe.<br />
From: Strhyke Cantaso<br />
Sent: 2013.03.02 17:40<br />
To: Ava Starfire, <br />
I woke up this morning heavy of heart and in doleful spirits as I grappled with a painful possibility. <br />
Could it be, I asked myself, that I allowed a day to pass in which I failed to articulate to my precious, sublime, exquisite, unattainable EVE goddess Ava Starfire, that she is and always will be, the epicenter of my universe!<br />
I swore once to profess my love to AVA every day of life that providence chooses to reward me with.<br />
I failed to do so yesterday and I am in despair.<br />
You are my quintessential ground zero, my pole star, my heavenly hub!!<br />
She, my AVA, is the veritable tip upon which my top spins.<br />
To be human and flawed, is to risk making errors, that can ultimately harm our wish for happiness.<br />
I am in anguish always because it is clear to me that my dreams of eternal happiness at your side dear AVA may never be realized.<br />
The one with the most sincere passion, is not always the one rewarded. <br />
Life has its vagaries.<br />
So be it.<br />
While my love is despairingly unrequited, it is no less ardent or sincere and I find myself filled with an uncontrollabe burning desire,indeed, a smouldering, searing passion to be your love my sweet.<br />
<br />
It is more than just your heavenly beauty that moves me dear Ava. <br />
It is your deadly nature. <br />
What a dichotomy! <br />
A sensuous bifurcation unlike any seen before no doubt. <br />
You are the sumptuous eclair, light, puffy, airy, delicous, but filled with arsenic. Who can resist taking that delicate bite? <br />
Heed my passionate imploring cries dear confection of my heart!<br />
What are death throes in the light of such a delectable prospect? <br />
Your kiss.<br />
Like the doomed suitors of female black widow spiders and the Praying mantis, I do a deadly courtship dance that may find me, like those poor beleagured lovestruck creatures, destroyed and in a heap of burning rubble and ultimately in a clone vat.<br />
<br />
A kiss for a clone vat? Yes, a thousand times yes!!<br />
Pucker your sweet lips my cherished darling.<br />
We risk the same fate,those ancient earth insectoid creatures and I, and we do so willingly, because we are all similiarily inconsolable when not in the presence of the objects of our adoration. We have desire in our loins and are oblivious to distractions or dangers.<br />
Our raison d'etre, at the very least, is to die at your hands but alas, we also hold out hope, meager and scant as it may be, that you may choose instead to grace us with a taste of the nectar of your sweet kiss.<br />
<br />
It was said once by an ancient earth man about another woman, that she had a face that could launch a thousand ships.<br />
You, my darling, could launch even more, especially with time dilation.<br />
<br />
I hope some day the consumnation of our love can bring to you another kind of dilation and to me a worthy heir!<br />
I have never been reticent to reach for the sky, but to reach to the heavens and the delight that may be found there may be beyond my capability.<br />
YOU ARE MY WORLD SWEET AVA!!!!!<br />
Fly SAFE my Darling! <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/03/cyrano-de-bergerac-or-love-me-2-times.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-03-02T12:41:00-08:00">12:41 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/03/cyrano-de-bergerac-or-love-me-2-times.html#comment-form"> 13 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=3368751736954946947" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053051im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-18397226321943363852014-08-11T12:39:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:39:35.877-07:00THE HUMAN STAIN or Expectation is the Root of All Heartache<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Sunday, January 27, 2013</h2>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
I have become a hermit and of my own volition a NEW EDEN bum! <br />
<br />
Humanity, with all its heinous propensities toward iniquity, its inherently duplicitous nature, its rampant depravity, abhorrent baseness and degradation, unapologetic miscreancy, self inflicted loathesome frailties and unseen but equally debauched and life sapping spiritual blemishes has tried my patience for the last time.<br />
<br />
I HATE YOU FUCKING HUMANOIDS!!!<br />
(To think I once considered myself a people person.)<br />
<br />
All of you!!<br />
Pirates, industrialist, wormholers, PvPers, Carebears, high, low, and nullseccers alike! <br />
<br />
I wash my hands of you!<br />
<br />
As Melville said:<br />
<h1 style="font-size: 12px; margin: 0px;">
“To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee”</h1>
<br />
Son Diablos todos!! DIABLOS!!!<br />
<br />
Mankind, and yes you beautiful siren like seductive temptresses known as WOMAN have forced me to take this necessary step, this divergence in my life path.<br />
<br />
Jezebels and Delilahs get thee behind ME!!!! <br />
<br />
First let me say that it was not easy to distance myself from some of GOD's finest work.<br />
<br />
I miss that most of all. <br />
I am talking about women.<br />
<br />
My former corporation, the BLACK REBEL RIFTER CLUB and its parent alliance, THE DEVIL's TATTOO, had some of the most delectable femme fatales found anywhere in the universe.<br />
Luna (ay que chula!), Arianne (mujer tan bella!), and Lao (que preciosa!) to name but three were visions of lusciously enticing sensuous beauty!!! <br />
<br />
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<br />
It was great to be a man in that corporation!<br />
<br />
That titilating aspect aside, I must continue on my current HOBO path, for as I said, I cannot and will not subject myself to the vagaries of that capricous and tumultuous species for one second longer.<br />
<br />
I can no longer deal with people.<br />
Where is my great cleansing flood?<br />
Where is my fresh start?<br />
<br />
Many of you who know me are aware that I have been a tortured soul for most of my life in NEW EDEN.<br />
<br />
Joy, happiness, and peace of mind elude me. <br />
I am in a constant state of agitation. <br />
I am perpetually unsettled.<br />
<br />
<strong>WHY!</strong><br />
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<br />
<br />
I have asked myself that question an interminable number of times. <br />
Self reflection and introspection ruled my life for years. <br />
WHY, I was always asking myself and my therapist.<br />
<br />
<strong>WHY!!!???</strong><br />
<br />
Might it be I was and am still disappointed in the handiwork of our grand architect? <br />
Could that be it? <br />
I think so.<br />
<br />
I believe in the concept of intelligent design!<br />
<br />
Only the hand of a mighty GOD like entity could have created this astoundingly majestic, awe-inspiring wondrous existence in which we all revel.<br />
Still, questions remain. <br />
Mysteries. <br />
Conundrums.<br />
<br />
WHY, for instance, I often ask, did the creator choose to lower the bar when it came to the creatures he conjured to populate his universe(s)?<br />
<br />
Why not make the WORST possible created entity the equivalent of an angel? <br />
Even those cast down from heaven of which Milton wrote so eloquently would have been a far better starting point. <br />
<br />
Why does the average being have to be a VINCENT R'lyeh for example, or a DIRTY PROTAGONIST, or a profligate capitalist like SARD CAID, or a demented megalomaniac like The Mittani (sic)?<br />
<br />
What kind of a foundation was that?<br />
I longed for a creation filled with heavenly cherubic beings and got these bums instead!! <br />
There are no abstract qualities extant to be honored in that bunch.<br />
He could have started anywhere as his base and worked up in quality from there but he chose not to.<br />
<br />
<strong>WHY?</strong><br />
<br />
Instead, we have a universe filled with derelicts, thieves, rapists, murderers, child molesters, extortionists, carpetbaggers, pirates, money launderers, felons, convicts, fugitives, prostitutes (this should be legal), moneygrubbing capitalists and CORPORATION HOPPERS (the most egregious criminal of all!). <br />
The marred progenitures of his initial faulty seed. <br />
(Was the almighty slumming one day or did he just have a bad day?)<br />
<br />
Our NEW EDEN God looked down at all he had made and said it was VERY BAD!!! <br />
I am sure he screamed it.<br />
<br />
Now, as I push my EVE equivalent of a shopping cart around the Heild system, picking up space debris, scrap metals, frozen corpses and assorted detritus, I have plenty of time to ruminate on cosmic concepts and ideals that are of fundamental importance.<br />
<br />
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<br />
PvP. <br />
FUCK IT! <br />
Who needs it? Its not important now is it?<br />
Wallets brimming with ISK. <br />
Not germane to a meaningful existence.<br />
Fancy ships. <br />
NOPE. They blurr your vision.<br />
<br />
Faction modules. Forget it.<br />
They throw your moral compass off kilter.<br />
<br />
I am able to look at humanity now without filters.<br />
It is amazing how your life changes when you drop off the grid and lead a celestial HOBO's existence.<br />
I have given ALL my shit away!! I feel liberated.<br />
I now Beg for a living.<br />
I enjoy rummaging through station waste containers, sifting through castoff hazardous biological materials, combing through smelly rubbish filled hangar areas, and pleading pitifully for my days rations and supplies.<br />
I get my meals at a halfway house in Egbinger.<br />
I am not proud.<br />
It brings me closer to the core of humanities basic attributes and virtues.<br />
<span id="goog_801509296"></span><span id="goog_801509297"></span><br />
<br />
I SEE YOU!!<br />
<br />
I am now in the spot where the rubber meets the road as they say. <br />
No one puts on airs here.<br />
There is very little pretentiousness when a person deals with a HOBO. <br />
You often get to see the real person, the one that is hidden away from societies finer elements for fear that they will be judged by those they erroneously consider their betters. <br />
Poor souls.<br />
<br />
People don't give a shit if you, the lowly BUM see the person they really are.<br />
The good are good and the bad are bad. Crystal clear.<br />
You approach and they begin to recoil.<br />
They smell you and see your tattered clothing and your battered imicus filled with garbage and they react, often rudely and crudely, with no effort to conceal their true nature.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Don't bother asking if you can clean their fancy Battlecruisers windows with your minmitar squeegee and spray bottle. <br />
They cannot tolerate you being so near.<br />
It is what it is. <br />
Painful at times but it is REAL. <br />
<br />
But, there are some who will deal with you, even if they have to hold their noses.<br />
It is these people that have inspired me to go HOBO.<br />
I wish to interact with this bunch. <br />
They can be found only through your own misery.<br />
<br />
I love this new reality to be honest.<br />
<br />
Even more so than the one I enjoyed before in my earlier life in New Eden.<br />
I had EVERY toy concievable in NEW EDEN. <br />
I had billions and billions and billions in ISK.<br />
What I did not have was true happiness. <br />
I was rich but I was so so poor.<br />
There is no more disillusionment in my world.<br />
<br />
No more quandaries, bewilderment, or puzzling over the actions of a fellow citizen in EVE.<br />
I have stopped trying to figure you out MIURA BULL!!!!!<br />
<br />
There are some who have proclaimed that EVE has broken me and that this my latest quirky move is motivated by a lack of moxie and lack of willingness to face the brutal universe head on.<br />
<br />
I assure you that is not the case.<br />
<br />
I just don't let it bother me anymore.<br />
<br />
I am a BUM and a HOBO and a HERMIT and a VAGRANT and I LOVE IT!<br />
<br />
My daily CTA involves a beggars tin cup, tepid soup, unsolicited preaching by do-gooders, and half smoked cigarettes.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I get my loving from am enlightened ex prostitute who has also bravely shed her shackles of coerced allegiance to contemporary ZEITGEIST. <br />
<br />
Other than an occasional shot of penicillin, her love creates no encumbrances or demands.<br />
<br />
I expect little of you dear humanoids and am NEVER surprised or disappointed when you meet my expectations. <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214044354/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214044354/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-human-stain-or-expectation-is-root.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2013-01-27T16:17:00-08:00">4:17 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214044354/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-human-stain-or-expectation-is-root.html#comment-form"> 8 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214044354/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=8628825956118570923" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214044354im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-66593958640302106142014-08-11T12:39:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:39:09.729-07:00GREAT WILDLANDS DISASTER!!<br />
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Friday, November 2, 2012</h2>
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Listen up Cabrones! <br />
I just saw the following news Item and it really hit home. <br />
I hang out in the GW and while I hate tourist types and nosey pirates invading my privacy there, I still feel compelled to look out for your sorry asses! <br />
Read this shit and take heed. <br />
Stay out of the area. <br />
It ain't safe!<br />
-LHORENZHO<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: medium;">FREIGHTER DISASTER IN THE GREAT WILDLANDS!</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">New Eden Journal of Business (NEJOB) - Bix Bixley correspondent</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span><br />
A large FENRIR freighter owned and operated by the BICHO3XL pharmaceutical consortium suffered a devastating warp core failure this morning, resulting in a catastrophic explosion and complete loss of its highly volatile cargo, a mutated form of the companies proprietary genital enhancement compound.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Authorities are in the process of coordinating a large scale cleanup operation considered by many to be the largest ever marshalled subsequent to an industrial environmental mishap. <br />
<br />
At this time, GREAT WILDLANDS authorities are warning ALL residents residing in the region and in all the neighboring regions to avoid the areas and preferably to vacate the region if possible for health and safety reasons. <br />
<br />
Leave the area IMMEDIATELY!<br />
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<span id="goog_505916427"></span><span id="goog_505916428"></span><br />
<br />
Any and all operations planned for the devastated region should be tabled until further notice. <br />
A large contingent of medical personnel has been brought into the area to provide emergency assistance and to coordinate the larger public safety effort that this spill will manifest. <br />
<br />
The area's center for disease control is also involved in the effort.<br />
<br />
ALthough details are sketchy, noted Urologist Tink L. Rainwater M.D. has painted a grim picture of the possible effects the released compound could have on those who come in contact with the solution. <br />
<br />
Even traces of the highly concentrated chemical are known to be deleterious to humanoid health.<br />
The original compound known as PPGro10, was expected to revolutionize the field of SEXUAL Therapy, in particular dealing with premature ejaculation and non consumnation issues. <br />
<br />
The company was hoping to capitalize on the recent discovery that<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: medium;">SIZE DOES MATTER</span></strong>, and expected to reap windfall profits when those formerly suffering from "needle dick syndrome" (not an industry term) suddenly found themselves significantly ENHANCED.<br />
<br />
"Every man wants his package to impress the ladies", said Huo Mungous Lung, the operations manager of the company.<br />
<br />
"We were set to make a killing!" uttered a clearly deflated Lung.<br />
<br />
Women expressed great joy during test sessions.<br />
The company is struggling to deal with the Public relations disaster and sales impact this event could have on the bottom line.<br />
<br />
Sources have confirmed that the solution has not yet garnered FDA approval and anonymous personnel have stated that a recent batch that was found to have mutated on its own had turned up missing during an internal inventory assessment. <br />
<br />
The company was in the process of moving the mutated compound when the accident occurred.<br />
<br />
The mutated form was discovered during testing to have the opposite effect of the normal <br />
solution, resulting in test subjects waking up in the morning with a rare medical malady known as LilliputianPenis, or as it was jokingly referred to by the lab workers...MiniME.<br />
<br />
The compound also crossed gender lines.<br />
<br />
Women were not immune from the chemical. <br />
<br />
Many found that their costly implants, both saline and silicon, had violently exploded, resulting in some cases in severe physical disfigurement and injury. <br />
<br />
The missing solution suspected to have found its way to some of the regions most notorious outposts is said to have been particularily damaging to the "EXOTIC DANCER" industry as a mad scramble has ensued for replacement implants. <br />
<br />
Opportunistic entrepreneur types have quickly moved to fill the void, flooding the market with cheap imitations that are selling at a premium due to the urgency of the dancers need to please their patrons. <br />
SardMart, a reseller of goods in Bosena has been running a 2 for the price of 1 promotion on the implants. <br />
<br />
No one has confirmed what SardMart employees are using as filler (rumored to be grindings from frozen corpses), and Bosena medics are cautioning the women on the potential medical complications the bootleg implants could create.<br />
<br />
The solution had a secondary effect of reversing Brazilian Wax jobs, causing many women to wake with "bushy bushes". <br />
The lab workers also joked about this effect calling it the Edward Scissorhands full employment act!<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
It was rumored that the mutated form was to be utilized as a biological weapon and delivered by Large war headed MISSILE to target areas to create havoc and chaos from the inside.<br />
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<br />
<br />
"Can you imagine the cry to the heavens that would be heard when every woman in the target system suddenly found herself facing this "small" problem. <br />
Fighting would be the last thing on the minds of that enemy!", stated company CFO, Lester Long. <br />
"When your man can't dig deep, you got a problem!" added Long.<br />
"I have gone to great lengths to push this product to our defense people!" emphasized a clearly exaperated Long.<br />
<br />
The military commander in charge of the evacuation, General Precioso Verga, has asked for additional troops to curb looting and to facilitate the process of moving as many people out of the area as possible.<br />
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<br />
<br />
"Time is of the essence." he stated sternly.<br />
"NO ONE SHOULD BE ANYWHERE NEAR THIS PLACE FOR AT LEAST A TWO YEAR PERIOD!" (emphasis added by editor)<br />
<br />
"You want a small peepee? <br />
Stick around then!" <br />
<br />
"KEEP OUT OF THE GREAT WILDLANDS!!" spewed Verga angrily as he rushed off to lead the effort. <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/11/great-wildlands-disaster.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2012-11-02T10:21:00-07:00">10:21 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/11/great-wildlands-disaster.html#comment-form"> No comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=6162200238156908991" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1703096760"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535/http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=6162200238156908991&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="18" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214032535im_/http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> </div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-77551555563048627442014-08-11T12:38:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:38:47.698-07:00THE TRACKS OF MY TEARS or DON"T "ROB ROY" ME BRO!!<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Sunday, October 28, 2012</h2>
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BACKGROUND:<br />
The Tuskers, a renowned pirate entity in the wondrous universe of NEW EDEN put on a frigate fest for the ages yesterday afternoon (California Pacific time) centered primarily in the Jovainnon and Hevrice system in Verge Vendor. <br />
There was a field of wreckage strewn about in the Jov system that would cause a salvagers heart to leap for joy and that pays ready testament to the truth in my glowing characterization above.<br />
<br />
There are many, infinitely more qualified and skilled individuals armed with insider knowledge and facts, that can present a more thorough and complete picture of the happenings. <br />
The details on the lustrous event I will leave to others to chronicle for the readers of this blog post. <br />
<br />
No doubt Tusker Titans like Suleiman Shouaa and Dian Lung will undertake that task on their own blogs. <br />
I wait with great anticipation to read their narratives!<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://www.the-tuskers.info/">http://www.the-tuskers.info/</a><br />
<br />
Being a ghetto dwelling, barrio-spawned hoodrat, all I can do is tell you in the vernacular of the street is that it was a primo party VATOS! <br />
Laughs all around for sure.<br />
<br />
I will say no more on the tactical side of the event, or comment on ship fittings, or combat tactics, or speak of the logistics nightmare it must have been to plan such an event. (my admiration for the Devil's Tattoo Joe Struck has grown immensely as he runs a similiar event for the Devil's Tatto alliance)<br />
<br />
I have never been shy about expressing my heart felt opinion that the "HUMAN ELEMENT" is ALWAYS the source of the more compelling stories in events such as these, and indeed, in EVE ONLINE as a whole.<br />
<br />
Without you, the people of NEW EDEN, and your intriques and back room machinations, these events would be nothing more than a sterile compiled list of KILLMAILS. <br />
Who the fuck cares about that? <br />
<br />
I know I don't, at least not beyond taking a cursory glance at such a list.<br />
<br />
Tell me about the people involved. They are the source of the real drama and tension.<br />
<br />
Thats what I care about and many have intimated to me that they also want to know and read about the people and not the just about cold metallic ships.<br />
<br />
And to be sure, I certainly am not referring solely to the exploits of known EVE luminaries and GAME GODS whose very presence often cause many of us to act like paparazzi as exemplified by our zeal to quickly raise our cameras and ready our autograph books. <br />
We all love a celebrity. <br />
<br />
No, I am talking about people who toil daily with the struggles of life in this brutal universe. <br />
<br />
Those of us without 2 ISK to rub together. <br />
<br />
Those who struggle just to keep a T1 frig in modules and their concubine of the day in fresh intra-uterine phrophylaxis.<br />
<br />
Those of us who do not and cannot make it look easy and who do not have every excruciating detail of the complex intricate minutiae of this game at their fingertips. (How do you savants do it?)<br />
<br />
Those of us who cannot generate graphs or spreadsheets or discuss cogently mathematically based game formulae with any sense of reason or intrinsic skill.<br />
<br />
People like me. <br />
<br />
All I can ever produce is pseudo-academic polish. <br />
A fine veneer but not genuine. <br />
<br />
There are some real geniuses tooling around in our space. <br />
I don't need to mention names. <br />
EVE geniuses know who they are. <br />
A heightened sense of self-awareness is one trait of a genius. <br />
Their EGO is driven by this sense.<br />
<br />
But enough generic pontificating.<br />
<br />
Back to the TUSKER FRIG FEST.<br />
<br />
As I alluded to above, there are PLOTS and there are sub-plots always playing out at these festivals.<br />
<br />
I will relay a short narrative that spells out the storyline of three players in the event, one of them who <br />
many will recognize as a GAME GIANT.<br />
<br />
I am talking about myself (sadly a mere footnote in this game), a corpmate of mine and newly minted R1FTA director named VINCENT R'LYEH, and the PvP legend MIURA BULL.<br />
<br />
While the larger drama unfolded in the systems, a similiar drama writ small, involving the three blokes mentioned above was also playing out. <br />
<br />
To be sure, the impact of what happened to Vincent and Lhorenzho was small potatoes to the great BULL, but since he had a passing involvement, I have included that SUPERHERO here as well. <br />
<br />
Just remember that he cares as much about us as a picnic goer concerns himself with two ants wrestling over a bread crumb.<br />
<br />
<strong>THE LHORENZHO-R'LYEH feud: (when midgets collide)</strong><br />
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<br />
Many of you may have a corpmate that is a thorn in your side. <br />
If you do, then I don't need to elaborate on just how aggravating they can be. <br />
You want to pop their asses. <br />
<br />
They seem to live to harrass you and to lower your quality of life becomes their raison d'etre. <br />
<br />
That fucking Vinny has taken on that role recently and subsequent to his recent promotion he has quite frankly become insufferable! <br />
<br />
To make matters worse, he has read, synthesized, and digested every word of the BRUTOR BULLFIGHTER's recent blog about SMACK TALK.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-clear-and-concise-guide-to-winning.html">http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-clear-and-concise-guide-to-winning.html</a><br />
<br />
Yes, I know, the BULL was toying with his adoring public and most of us, even those dregs of EVE society he disdains got it. <br />
<br />
BUT NOT R'Yleh! He took the message to heart and I became his test subject.<br />
SMACK SMACK SMACK is all I have heard for weeks.<br />
<br />
We have had a long running feud, me and this Vincent cat. <br />
In all honesty it predated this event.<br />
Years ago we agreed to a best two out of three challenge match hoping that we could leave our differences on the field of battle. <br />
To date that strategy has not worked.<br />
We have been deadlocked at one win apiece for what seems like years.<br />
<br />
Upon hearing of this TUSKER event, I realized it presented an opportunity for us to finally settle our business and promptly challenged R'Lyeh to a deciding rubber match.<br />
<br />
The objective was this. <br />
The loser was to leave corp and relocate to the farthest reaches of the universe.<br />
<br />
Let me tell you, it was no easy feat for me to make it to the frig fest site, despite the motivation of ridding myself of VINNY forever.<br />
<br />
I had forgotten about the event and had pretty much resigned myself to missing it. <br />
But, motivated by some unsavory mocking at the hands ofVINCENT, I decided at the last minute to attend. <br />
<br />
I jump cloned from Heild to Eugales and then in my only rifter made my way to Hevrice.<br />
I went despite the fact that I had NO ships in the OPERATIONS areas.<br />
I hoped to improvise and on the generosity of corpies and event organizers.<br />
<br />
Upon arriving, I IMMEDIATELY sent a challenge out to R'yleh. "WHERE ARE YOU CABRON?"<br />
<br />
He ignored me. <br />
He loves his psychological games. <br />
I cooled my heels. <br />
I smoked cigarettes and had some drinks.<br />
<br />
I also did some fighting.<br />
I won some. I lost some.<br />
<br />
The fantastic FRIG FEST was going on and I could follow the destruction as it developed by watching local, monitoring the event channel, and by logging on to the TUSKER mumble channel. (no easy feat)<br />
Clearly, NEW EDEN lore and battles worthy of eternal glory were being created on the larger stage. <br />
<br />
But off broadway, another battle was about to begin.<br />
<br />
The human story involving the bit players.<br />
<br />
My communicator beeped. <br />
R'lyeh was now ready to engage! <br />
Finally.<br />
We agreed to a combat site in system. <br />
He tried to fleet me. <br />
I LOL'd at that pathetic attempt to get range on me. I refused the fleet invite and he protested.<br />
He was in an atron. <br />
I was in my trusty cookie cutter Rifter.(the greatest tool since the swiss army knife)<br />
<br />
<br />
I must say, I reminded myself of the greatest, the one and only MUHAMMID ALI, as I danced like an IRON BUTTERFLY and stung his ass like a 425 pound bumblebee. (Gastric bypass pending!)<br />
<br />
I wanted to punish him and truth be told, I carried him like Ali did to Ernie Terrel! <br />
"WHAT'S MY NAME VINCENT?"......"WHAT's MY NAME?" I yelled (much like my Idol Ali did those millenia ago) as I my 150's battered his Atron. <br />
"WHAT'S MY NAME!!!!??" rat tat tat mofo!!<br />
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<br />
<br />
The results speak for themselves:<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=17787391">http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=17787391</a><br />
<br />
I will help you pack your bags vato!!<br />
<br />
Needless to say, Vinny, attempted to besmirch,taint, and de-legitimize my victory by stating that the 20 hp (1.2% of total damage) inflicted by that late arriving interloper was the reason he lost! <br />
<br />
His ship was disintegrating when that kid took his one shot! <br />
<br />
You CANNOT be tried for murder when you put a bullet in a corpse VINCENT!!!!<br />
<br />
One tiny drama saw the curtain drop.<br />
<br />
On to the next!<br />
A tempest in a teapot? Perhaps.<br />
<br />
<strong>The "ROB ROY":</strong><br />
Now to the BULL.<br />
Genteel decorum will not permit me to air our corporate dirty laundry as I have often stated in the past.<br />
This whole JUSTICE LEAGUE episode that has seen Da BULL abandon his R1FTA progeny and that has created immeasureable angst within the membership has been played out in our private corp forums and will not be revisited here.<br />
<br />
Let me first state that I am admirer of Miura Bull.<br />
<br />
I am also a HATER of MIURA BULL.<br />
<br />
The JUSTICE leagues new "BOSS" has in the past popped a good friend of mine for no apparent reason other than pure unalderated wicked malevolence.<br />
<br />
My dear friend, one BHANE CELESTO, was summarily popped twice by the tights-wearing self-professed superhero BULL. <br />
<br />
Once, while my dear angelic saintly pal BHANE was holding an autograph book in one hand and a pen in the other waiting for a signature. (Yes he too admired the BULL)<br />
<br />
QUE MALDITO BULL!! <br />
TREACHERY!!!<br />
<br />
I swore that I would someday impart some measure of vengeance in his name by performing the EVE equivalent of a castration on New Eden's most famous bull. <br />
CRIA DIA anyone?<br />
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<br />
<br />
Da Bull likes to portray himself as a man of "THE PEOPLE".<br />
I can tell you it ain't true.<br />
<br />
He loves the trappings of wealth, power, prestige, and upper crust, who's who society. <br />
He loves satin robes, mulberry silk sheets, Stuart Weitzman shoes, crystal encrusted royal danish cigars (bootlegged), and Camus cognac cuvee.<br />
<br />
He relishes the thought of rubbing elbows with monied interests and people and clones of influence.<br />
<br />
He is not of the people, rather he has become something akin to a celebrated gladiator who has left the lower depths of the coliseums and has been given free reign to walk along the marbled halls of elitism.<br />
<br />
It is fleeting BULL. <br />
Remember the wise words of PROXIMO in Gladiator.<br />
"We are all but SHADOWS IN DUST!!<br />
<br />
You get the picture?<br />
<br />
Once again, while history was being forged on the big stage, the next episode (thank you SNOOP)was playing out in a smaller but more luxurious setting elsewhere.<br />
<br />
I caught wind that Da Bull was meeting with some big wig friends at a private soiree in a plush, posh, private dining area in a station in HEVRICE.<br />
<br />
I attempted to contact him via the private communicator number he had passed to me earlier. <br />
The number turned out to be invalid and was for the mail order branch of some store called SARD MART!<br />
(Evidently the bull is an "affiliate" and gets bonus points of some sort)<br />
<br />
Naturally, I was steaming at this insult and decided to crash the Bull's private affair.<br />
<br />
I made my way to HEVRICE, docked my pristine RIfter (not a mark on it after the fight with R'lyeh) in a public hangar stall, put some ISK in the meter, and angrily stormed into the main station area.<br />
<br />
I grabbed the first hermaphrodite looking busboy I could find, pulled my monogrammed stilleto blade, and convinced her/him to tell me the location of the super secret shindig.<br />
<br />
He sang like a bird in a gilded cage.<br />
<br />
I took the turbo lift down to the designated floor, angrily pressed the open door button and pushed my way into the dimly lit room. <br />
Laughter and tinkling glass sounds permeated the room as I squinted and searched the area for signs of the BULL.<br />
The champagne fountain made a pleasant pastoral brook like sound.<br />
<br />
There he was in a corner, seated at a huge round table, puffing on a cigar and whispering into the ear of a diamond wearing woman. <br />
Even from my vantage point I could see he had his hand on the bitches thigh.<br />
<br />
In a fury, I made my way to his location, toppling dessert trays along the way.<br />
<br />
As I reached the table, I noted the velvet rope and the tuxedo wearing maitre'D type standing guard.<br />
He held up his hand in a HALT gesture as I approached. <br />
I did not nor could I conceal my anger.<br />
<br />
"May I help you sir?", he asked in the most haughty uppity voice I had ever heard. <br />
Left unsaid was..."What could YOU possibly want here?"<br />
<br />
"I need to talk to MIURA BULL", I said through clenched teeth. <br />
I could barely contain my wrath!<br />
<br />
"Was Mr. BULL expecting you? Do you have an appointment?"<br />
<br />
"NO, but I am a friend of his and this is important".<br />
<br />
"Let me see if he can spare a moment. He is very busy right now."<br />
<br />
He gave me another look. <br />
He arched his eyebrows, hesitated, and then turned and made his way to the table.<br />
<br />
He whipered in Da BULL's ear. <br />
I could see Miura Bull peering at me and shaking his head no. <br />
<br />
The waiter was apparently insistent as BULL then vigorously shook his hand in an insulting NO gesture and turned his back on the waiter and me and returned to his conversation!! <br />
<br />
CABRON!!!<br />
YOU BASTARD!!!<br />
<br />
I did not wait for the waiter to return. <br />
<br />
I literally ran to the table, trampling the waiter in my haste and anger.<br />
<br />
"I am calling you out Miura!" My voice was quaking.<br />
The Bull slowly raised his head and looked at me without a hint of recognition. <br />
"It's me dude, Lhorenzho!"<br />
"What do you want man?"<br />
<br />
I wanted to reach out and slap his face but only my deepest respect and admiration for DIAN LUNG who was at the other end of the table stayed my impulse.<br />
<br />
"You have to answer for Bhane Celesto Miura. No one pops a distant cousin of mine without paying for it"<br />
<br />
"I have no quarrel with you Lhorena". <br />
<br />
He had a smug grin on his face and he was still feigning that he did not know me.<br />
<br />
"The names Lhorenzho. And I want you outside in five minutes!"<br />
<br />
He turned his back on me.<br />
<br />
I drew my officers side sabre, the one I took from a drunken Gallente captain, and put the tip between his shoulderblades.<br />
<br />
He slowly turned back to face me.<br />
<br />
"Ok, Lhorena. Have it your way. Since you appear to favor long blades shall we say first cut?"<br />
<br />
I nodded.<br />
<br />
He then took his open palm, slid it along the length of my blade inflicting a long but superficial cut on his palm, and held it up so that all at the table could see the crimson liquid oozing out. <br />
<br />
The ladies at the table gasped.<br />
<br />
"<strong>Well done</strong>!", he said to me.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvnNo7D5HPif0Es_tOqwiZBxvN0Lll4LgMHbm31mgQSfOVkKGu1WiDvuNlZ_HUXpA1JsAseIJ0ncYj1iVXk5aVbZYIl6VQH8P64DG2oL3HjOGnVCpNtrAQk_xF58_uT4J5OzkrtNnaUrg/s1600/robroy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvnNo7D5HPif0Es_tOqwiZBxvN0Lll4LgMHbm31mgQSfOVkKGu1WiDvuNlZ_HUXpA1JsAseIJ0ncYj1iVXk5aVbZYIl6VQH8P64DG2oL3HjOGnVCpNtrAQk_xF58_uT4J5OzkrtNnaUrg/s1600/robroy.jpg" /></a><br />
Cackling laughter broke out! <br />
There were looks of both pity and disgust on the faces of NEW EDEN's finest.<br />
I stood there speechless and watched him as he again turned his back to me.<br />
His hand inched ever higher on his companions thigh. <br />
She blushed. <br />
Her eyes filled with admiration and lust for the great BULL!<br />
<br />
Before I could muster up a response, I was siezed by 5 burly security agents wearing JUSTC armbands.<br />
<br />
Once out of earshot and eyesight of the high society types, I was taken to a dark anteroom and beaten.<br />
<br />
"This one is special delivery from the boss!!" one tall bald fellow said as he plunged his gloved hand into my protuberant gut.<br />
<br />
I was then tossed into the hangar area next to my ship.<br />
<br />
"You owe the meter some ISK asshole!" I heard one of the guards yell as their footsteps receded in the distance.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>SARD CAID - Proprietor: "THE DEVIL"S CANDY STORE!"</strong><br />
As a final point in this long blog post, I would like to add the following narrative I posted on our forum which detailed my adventures in a special wolf fit recommended by the great bean counter/warrior KAEDA MAXWELL.<br />
<br />
It describes an encounter with a couple of gentleman who I believe are still agents of that sweat shop owner SARD CAID. <br />
This dude, who also runs GUNPOINT DIPLOMACY and I am convinced various offshoots of this outfit such as CALAMITOUS INTENT makes it his business to interject chaos into the lives of as many people as he can in his corner of the Universe. <br />
He will collide with justice some day. Real justice, not JUSTC.<br />
<br />
On another note,I am sorry to say that I am deeply ashamed of myself. <br />
<br />
I am sorry I did not come to the rescue of that pathetic, pitiful, reed thin waif who with tears tracking down his face begged me to take him out of that hell hole where he toils 15 hours a day for 2 ISK. <br />
I could see him in the back areas of the smoke filled SARD MART production facility. <br />
<br />
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<br />
He was coughing his lungs out as held up a scrawled sign with the words HELP ME PLEASE etched in some dark carbon like material.<br />
(There is also a store front there but I do NOT want to provide any needless free publicity)<br />
<br />
Shame on you Sard Caid......Shame on you!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>THE BLOG POST:</strong><br />
KAEDA - WOLF BRICK<br />
I would like to report my first experience with this ship.<br />
Last night, I slid into the "command capsule" of one of these fits. <br />
As I mentioned yesterday, I had fit 3 or 4 of these up, after recieving inspiration from Dear K's post in the SHIP FITTING thread, and was excited to see the vessel in action.<br />
I undocked, wisely using our insta undock of course as Heild was pretty busy, and made my way to a safe. <br />
I scanned, using the most current protocols (I stay on top of this shit) and noted that several of the calamitous gents were tooling around in rifters.<br />
Also, presumably to be cute because they are smarmy that way, I noted they were periodically switching names on their ships, ostensibly to "CONFUSE" people.<br />
(IS THAT ALL YOU FUCKERS GOT in the way of tactics?)<br />
After a short period of playing cat and mouse with these two cretins, I decided that it was time to up the ante, and made a command decision to "COMMIT to the fight" as the mighty GARMON likes to say.<br />
<br />
I quickly determined that they were on the AEDALD gate and made haste to my POUNCE spot to more readily determine the best way to approach the task of taking both these vatos on in BOAT BATTAL. (thank you for coining that phrase my sweet LADY SHANIQUA! BTW where have you gone to my love?).<br />
As I settled into my vantage point I spotted Altaen in his rifter at the gate.<br />
<br />
Of course, Brandobas, his partner in crime would be situated on the other side of the gate. I am NOT stupid dammit! <br />
Emboldened by Kaeda's words (I hang on his every phrase when it comes to ship assessment) that this WOLF fit was the mother of all WOLF fits, I took a big drink of whiskey from my R1FTA cup, snuffed out my cigarrette, gulped down a hanful of instant VALIUM tabs (to quell the combat shakes), and in my best PICARD voice, cooly told my first officer to "ENGAGE!"<br />
Like their namesake in nature, my ferocious WOLF, primed for the hunt, loped down to the gate with autocannons bared and and our engine snarling!!<br />
It was on motherfuckers!!!<br />
I know I must have been a fearsome sight to behold as I plunged into the fray! <br />
I am certain ALTAEN was quaking in his generic pirate issue boots as my image loomed larger in his RIFTERs view screen!<br />
I could imagine him screaming in his little high-pitched sissy voice..."LHORENZHO is incoming!!!!!!"<br />
WHO WOULDN"T BE AFRAID?<br />
SIDEBAR:<br />
Do any of you young BDFS or BRRC snotnoses know what it is like to be old? I pray you never find out. Keep your clone updated please!<br />
Let me tell you briefly what happens. YOU BECOME SLOW AS MOLLASSES and YOUR EYESIGHT GOES VERY BAD! And those are the good things!<br />
DId I mention there are also PEEPEE problems? We will save that talk for a later time kids.<br />
BACK ON THE RECORD:<br />
I know that in another thread I mentioned my sad tendency to target GATES in the heat of battle.<br />
(Why don't killboards give credit for damage to gates?)<br />
Altaen held his ground! <br />
"OVERHEAT THE GUNS!", I screamed to my weapons officer Panfilito Cienfuegos.<br />
Our ships auditory sensors picked up the sounds of cackling laughter coming from the rifter, even over the thunderous din of our 150's.<br />
<br />
WHAT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY PUNKS? <br />
You RANSOM fucks may have changed your name but you were still the same arrogant pricks!!!<br />
Then, I felt myself go ashenfaced as I realized what had happened.<br />
The look of horror on Panfilito's face confirmed my fears.<br />
We were inflicting punishing damage on the AEDALD gate.<br />
The rest is a blur, but I will try to finish this narrative to the best of my recollection.<br />
The GATEs do not take kindly to being mauled by WOLFs. <br />
<br />
Better you should spit in the face of the GODs.<br />
<br />
The GATE responded to our brazen attack.<br />
<br />
Volleys I estimate to be in the 350 dps range began to rain down on my mighty ship.<br />
ALTAEN calmly locked, webbed, scrambled and commenced to fire.<br />
<br />
The AEDALD gate fired again, only this time it was brandobas warping into system.<br />
He wanted a piece of the WOLF pelt! <br />
<br />
I watched sadly as my wolf stopped snarling and began to whimper, its tail tucked tightly between its legs!<br />
<br />
It made a howl like groaning sound as it disintegrated and I watched in horror as my compadre Panilito's body was sucked out into space. <br />
<br />
It is true, these things appear to play out in slow motion. <br />
<br />
ADIOS MI AMIGO!!!<br />
My pod warped to safety.<br />
<br />
NO GF's were exchanged!!<br />
<br />
Maybe I was offended by ALTAEN's smug parting comment.<br />
<br />
<strong>WHOOPS!!!!!</strong><br />
They were embarrassed for me! A truly ignominious defeat!<br />
<br />
Kaeda! I did not do your ship proud. But, I will try again!<br />
<br />
I am a REBEL! <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-tracks-of-my-tears-or-dont-rob-roy.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2012-10-28T14:59:00-07:00">2:59 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-tracks-of-my-tears-or-dont-rob-roy.html#comment-form"> 5 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=7389619946107520924" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053418im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-90732359112651761472014-08-11T12:38:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:38:26.964-07:00A WORLD TO CONQUER......AN EMPIRE TO BUILD!!!!!!! or....THE GOD PARTICLE is mine!!<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Friday, July 6, 2012</h2>
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<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em><strong>I charge thee, fling away ambition;<br />By that sin fell the angels. -William Shakespeare, Henry VIII</strong></em></span><br />
<br />
I am about to commit an act that in many circles would be considered treasonous! <br />
No, I must not equivocate. <br />
Let me restate. <br />
I COMMIT TREASON NOW AND I DO IT WITH NO HESITATION.<br />
<br />
I must sound the alarm and warn all who will hear me that there may soon be total war in NEW EDEN!<br />
A mighty conflagration engendered by my leader. <br />
A man who I no longer recognize.<br />
<br />
<strong>HE DREAMS ONLY OF WAR!!</strong><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /> </span>Not since the fabled Khan Noonien Singh, in another mythical universe has their been such unbridled ambition and urgency to rule a vast empire packaged into the heart and soul of one man. <br />
<br />
True, Singh was but a mirage, a figment of a clever writers imagination, but the traits of the man as depicted were/are a universal template that spawns on occasion in certain men who marry certain commendable qualities with other less admirable ones and create an existence of suffering, despair and angst in those unfortunate enough to flourish in the same epoch as these creatures who must have it all. <br />
<br />
Miura Bull, is one such man, and he is on the warpath. What God would dare create such avarice in one solitary soul?<br />
<br />
There is no denying his objectives. <br />
ABSOLUTE RULE over ALL of NEW EDEN! <br />
Nothing less!<br />
<br />
You won't hear any loud whooping and yelling like the mighty Cheyenne of ancient earth would scream prior to embarking on their war parties.<br />
<br />
No, this malevolent leader is insidiously subtle, purposely inconspicuous and quasi-reclusive. You won't see him coming. <br />
NEVER. <br />
He is the python lying in wait in the tall grass. By the time you are aware of his presence, he will have crushed the life from your body. Listen to me humanoids! <br />
MIURA BULL will soon be making war upon you! <br />
<br />
He is quickly and relentlessly building an army. <br />
<br />
<strong>WAR IS COMING!</strong><br />
<br />
The speed with which his plans have advanced in recent days has alarmed me. He has an administrative savant aiding and abetting his plans. I will utter that name once. Kaeda Maxwell.<br />
<br />
I, Lhorenzho, am one of his directors and I am on the verge of commiting an egregiously subversive act because I have no other option. <br />
We have been at odds in recent months.<br />
I cannot support his plans of conquest. <br />
Piracy and minor acts of aggression against a limited target set is one thing. <br />
Violence on an unprecedented scale spread out over entire regions for mere self aggrandizement is something else!<br />
<br />
There are dark clouds on the horizon NEW EDEN citizens! <br />
The Black Rebel Rifter Club and its offshoots have become a contrivance for a leader who sees only the glory of conquest. <br />
They, those fearsome Rebels, are the scythes and you dear denizens of New Eden are the stalks of wheat standing tall. <br />
<br />
<strong>WAR IS COMING!</strong><br />
<br />
<em><strong>Ad augusta per angusta</strong></em> as the Romans used to say. To high places by narrow roads. <br />
<br />
Many are trampled on those narrow roads! You are all on the precipice of death. It is providential that you remain unaware of your imminent demise. My warning will be heard and heeded by some, but most will be blissfully unaware until it is too late. Perhaps that is for the better.<br />
<br />
The Bull grows ever hostile, bellicose and contentious! And that is on a good day.<br />
What brought on this sudden change in temperament is not clear. He was always violently belligerent. <br />
Recently, however, his measure of personal hostility grew exponentially and we, his inner circle are at a loss to explain why.<br />
No mortal man will be able to quell his hostility now! I will try at least to sound the alarm. My conscious will permit me to do no less.<br />
I will gladly walk to the gallows. I must do what I must do.<br />
<br />
<strong>THE BULL WILL SOON BE MAKING WAR!!</strong><br />
<br />
What was at first a mere trickle, has suddenly transformed into a torrential lust for power. I blame myself for not seeing this coming. <br />
<br />
<br />
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True, from such emotions and craven desires greatness is often spawned, however, there will also be unexpected, needless, and unwanted suffering stemming from such unholy cravings. <br />
<br />
THE DEVIL'S TATTOO! <br />
Remember that name citizens.<br />
It is a vehicle for torture, pillaging, raping, and slaughter.<br />
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This new alliance, this aptly named DEVIL'S TATTOO is a demonic gadget that will bring war to many corners of this great Universe of ours. <br />
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It is a toy to him in many ways. <br />
<br />
We, his corpmates indulged his whims. <br />
Yes, dear Miura we told him as we shared drinks and women with him after our many raids; an alliance is a natural adjunct of what you have created. <br />
<br />
"Let not your drive be tempered son", I myself once foolishly uttered.<br />
<br />
We were generous in our exhortations. <br />
We spurred him on and encouraged and fed his oversized ambitions. We wished to ride on the crest of his conquerors wave such was our blind devotion in those days. Woe to us now.<br />
<br />
Like wrestling with a young lion cub who grows more powerful by the day, and who unbeknownst to the caretakers, is losing respect and fear every day, until the time comes when he will clamp his mighty jaws on the foolish neck of his enablers.<br />
<br />
Miura Bull is like a son to me.<br />
<br />
A son with prodigious talents to do great harm to our sector. <br />
I am like the father who is keenly aware that his progeny is a serial killer. Yes, there may be for an instant, a glimmer of pride present, but eventually, reason must prevail and the authorities must be notified in order to protect the innocent. <br />
The innocent include the young REBELS who so blindly follow this charismatic creature who considers their loss an inconsequential triviality.<br />
He will soon make WAR and you will all die young warriors.<br />
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What he plans is not piracy or some version of a "just war". <br />
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He plans to stoke the devils zeal and diminish for all eternity the very soul of the cosmos.<br />
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May the heavens guide my hand to stop him!<br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/07/world-to-conquer.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2012-07-06T22:01:00-07:00">10:01 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/07/world-to-conquer.html#comment-form"> 5 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=1101534151206488250" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1703096760"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006/http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=1101534151206488250&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="18" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214043006im_/http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> <br />
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-90625745299172318402014-08-11T12:37:00.002-07:002014-08-11T12:37:57.649-07:00THE CRYING GAME…..or….WHO ORDERED THE CODE RED?<br />
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Wednesday, April 4, 2012</h2>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I got up this morning, early as is my custom, turned on my now virtually obsolete and slow as molasses computer system, navigated to the site where I last remembered putting my blog and noted to my surprise that it had been late November of 2011 since I had last posted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I know I was eating a turkey leg as I worked on that post so it had to be November.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>In the grand scheme of things that snippet of information means nothing I realize but still, sometimes life has a way of sliding into low gear and you cruise along and before you know it months have gone by and you wonder what happened. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What do you mean its fucking April of 2012!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Where the hell did the time go? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I wracked my brain trying to discern what it was in that last five months or so that had sidetracked me to the point that I would neglect updating my blog, it became quickly evident that there were was no CONCRETE reason for not having posted!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nothing mysterious involved in this really. Basically, it turns out that I am just a lazy motherfucker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As my dear Aunt Pascualita, who I might add had an amazing ability to size people up used to say, “<strong>COMO ERES HUEVON</strong> Lencho!” Which in essence means you are one lazy little fucker kid. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">She was usually frustrated by my constant refusal to sand the prominent corns on her feet down with old used shingles (we could not afford sandpaper).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMk3CdBWdmSwKsrSJ2h2dDiIWSZy-QK6hew-NlOPdwnt_vhz1NWF5nc4QUaaoNQGuD6feIAidVWVkhuLsTq3BdrfrDMNTczcnQnr8suI4H4u0f1ALmJFSmyVnHJXJjrBS0l5Jmccrxk3U/s1600/corns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nda="true" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMk3CdBWdmSwKsrSJ2h2dDiIWSZy-QK6hew-NlOPdwnt_vhz1NWF5nc4QUaaoNQGuD6feIAidVWVkhuLsTq3BdrfrDMNTczcnQnr8suI4H4u0f1ALmJFSmyVnHJXJjrBS0l5Jmccrxk3U/s1600/corns.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Hold your nose and sand muy duro mijo. Make your little manitas burn. Make that “CALLO” go away! Andale sobrino rapido!”, she would urge, trying valiantly to persuade me to work some cosmetic miracles on her gruesome feet!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I of course resisted performing that unpleasant task, but my love for her usually got the better of me and I would comply albeit at my usual lazy ass pace. Probably the reason that to this day I still suffer from CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME. Oh how I rubbed with that composition shingle!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">She was in a perpetual state of exasperation with me and my singular lack of work ethic. It is what it is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In contrast to my own proclivities, I have noted that many of my contemporary EVE bloggers to include many in my own corporation, were and are busy little beavers, prolifically generating reams and reams of high quality material that to be honest sometimes just makes me want to hang it up with respect to this blogging shit. How can I possibly hope to compete with some of these writers? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last night for instance, I took some time out from my busy schedule and made a concerted effort to catch up on my Eve related blogs and frankly was overwhelmed with the realization that our beloved space<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>community is replete with talented story tellers who can weave a tale with the best of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">EVE ONLINE is filled with a bunch of fucking MARK TWAIN's!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is both inspirational and in turn daunting to read some of the material and to subsequently realize that the bar has been substantially raised in the last couple of years by some of these writers to the point where you are afraid to sit down at your keyboard and get to work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">TENGO MIEDO!! Yes I am scared.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why bother. Who wants to read your drivel when people like Miura Bull ,Kane Rizzel, Flashfresh and others less well known but equally talented are putting out high quality work<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at an impressive rate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only are they speed writers they are also very productive idea machines as the gamut of topics they cover is mind boggling.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of them write the same way they fly their ships in Eve. They are frighteningly competent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In essence, the competition has me intimidated and hesitant to push forward with anything of my own lest it pale miserably in the light of the masterpieces being generated by my EVE ONLINE blogging competitors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I mean look at just this example! </span></span><br />
<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/http://eveoganda.blogspot.com/p/eve-blog-pack.html">http://eveoganda.blogspot.com/p/eve-blog-pack.html</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All that having been said, I must confess that although I might be a lazy fucker, I have never been a quitter. (Are those two concepts really mutually exclusive?) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Miraculously and I thank God for this, reading the body of competitors work also inspired me. I went to bed that night determined to try again and woke up the next day energized and ready to get to work (not too hard of course). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Come on Lhorenzho I told myself, stop fucking around, sit down in your recliner, pour yourself a whiskey, and give some serious thought to at least putting down on paper something that resonates with you on some basic level. What presses your buttons Vato??</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What are you currently doing in NEW EDEN that has you stoked?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What excites you? Well, let me think. Hey, I love shooting CYNO’s. My corpmates know me as an inveterate and unabashed CYNO KILLA!! I was getting somewhere. Narrow it down. Keep thinking you old fool.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What is it about shooting CYNO’s that I can discuss that might interest potential readers of this blog? Suddenly it came to me. MY SHIP! My CYNO killing ship…my beloved RUPTURE.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This CYNO topic however, was a bit problematic.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most people in NEW EDEN consider CYNO Killing and in particular CYNO Killers as pretty much the equivalent of slaughterhouse eviscerators, those poor unfortunate souls who toil all day in some poultry factory reaching into chicken body cavities and extricate the innards. </span></div>
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2_jhHqCTe0q2bSCAKpHc6rJRHvLI9Elyny9OuAwqreO47TsH38ArHb0bahiGO07vyygAfhyphenhyphen8y7ZjucSWO6DH0ky_YxUZiaFdudXycyeMNX7cT-RCnKsCaP4Wfm0q_hn0EhpYfpxttb8/s1600/eviscerator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nda="true" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2_jhHqCTe0q2bSCAKpHc6rJRHvLI9Elyny9OuAwqreO47TsH38ArHb0bahiGO07vyygAfhyphenhyphen8y7ZjucSWO6DH0ky_YxUZiaFdudXycyeMNX7cT-RCnKsCaP4Wfm0q_hn0EhpYfpxttb8/s1600/eviscerator.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hey it’s a job! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Incidentally for those of you who may be currently looking for work I provide the following "JOB DESCRIPTION" should you find yourself intriqued and seek a new challenge:</span></div>
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<em>Butchers and processes poultry performing any combination of following tasks: Severs legs at first joint, using knife, and drops legs into container. Slits breast skin, removes crop, and places crop on conveyor. Removes oil sack and slits abdominal wall with knife. Grasps carcass with hands, opens abdominal cavity, and pulls out viscera. Separates and washes liver, heart, and viscera and drops them into trays. Cuts around anus to remove remaining viscera and drops it onto conveyor. Holds gizzard over machine rollers to remove skin and drops it into washer. Trims fat from giblet meat with knife and places meat and fat in trays. May be designated according to part of poultry processed as Foot Cutter; Gizzard-Skin Remover; or kind of poultry cleaned as Chicken Cleaner; Turkey Cleaner.</em></div>
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(FYI - I did this for a short period in a filthy factory in East Los Angeles as part of a "REHABILITATION" stint)</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No, I would have to find some element of the quasi-reviled sport of CYNO killing that might peak the interest of readers. The answer was clearly evident of course. EVE players love their ships and like them I also had a fondness for ships, in particular as I have noted above, my RUPTURE cruiser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BINGO fuckers. That’s it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will talk of my RUPTURE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Still, obstacles loomed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now the problem was to find an angle, an approach so to speak that might be a little different from what might be written about a RUPTURE by other. Plus, to be honest, I could not hope to compete with other talented pilots and NEW EDEN game mechanic and technical guru’s who would easily run circles around me were I to confine my discussion to those difficult and mind numbing aspects of the Ruppy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Frankly, I wanted to leave the esoteric discussions and chart and graph flipping to guys like WENSLEY and Kaeda Maxwell (a real beancounter and infamous math error detector!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to dig down and come up with something that was nearer and dearer to my heart than just the nuts and bolts components of the cruiser. How did I FEEL about the ship in general. Yes, that would be my tactic of discussion. I was always a bloke who could get in touch with his feminine side (and I am not even counting my short period as a confused cross-dresser) and that talent would serve now as I formulated a plan of attack to enable me to POST something of substance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The answer was easy and came quickly to me once I had resolved myself to accepting the non-technical approach. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year some time, I had composed a sonnet of sorts in tribute to my favorite ship the indomitable RUPTURE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would pull it out from my archives, maybe polish it up a bit and post it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although I hesitate sometimes to expose my innermost feelings to the outside world, I figured in this situation I would have to take myself out of my “comfort zone” and just do it and let the chips fall where they may. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, without any further delay, I display below the ODE To RUPPY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wrote the “poem” quickly (about 20 minutes) during a trying period in my EVE life when I suffered from bouts of melancolia, so I apologize for its shortcomings. Try dear readers, if you can, to look beyond some of its literary deficiencies and try to reflect on the “FEELINGS” I was wrestling with when I sat down to compose it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is a tribute to a wonderful little ship.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ODE TO RUPPY</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(composed by Lhorenzho as inspired by a Rupture)<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Magnificent thou art, oh mighty RUPPY, splendid ship of my desire,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">silence you will through deeds the mocking cries which label you a space hair dryer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From the primordial depths of space, hull lucent and aglow with nebulae’s fair light,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">upon your hapless prey you swoop, to bring to life in violence the glorious good fight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Their life your neuts will drain, their unbridled haste your webs will halt,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">liquid fuel fed fires of death await to swallow him who dares your power fault.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Heinous pain and anguished lamentations, your overheated weaponry will bring,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and compounded be their angst as warrior drones inflict their deadly explosive sting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your low slot gyrostabilizers our rivals pain will surely augment,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and fates sweet providence permit your fusion ammo their armor plate to dent</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Optimal, falloff, transversal, orbit and ammo choice,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">selected well<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and wise ensure that dawn finds in our hearts sublime rejoice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh Minmitar hammer, with boundless force and thunder forever strike them dead,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and have their desolate nights be filled with tempestuous dreams of horrid dread.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Vaunted be thy name and terror filled the life of those you smote,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and in the dreary void in frozen state forever may their vanquished corpses float.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dear Rupture, let not their lavish warrior IMPLANTS give you pause,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">move true with resolute desire and will to strike with justice as your cause.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Give no quarter able cruiser lest your enemies impetuous urge for conquest rise anew,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">and boldly push into the fray for your insurance radiates a platinum hue.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Calamity dire befall the miscreant who CYNOSURAL field dare light,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">infernal flames will greet the ship who tests the steadfast Ruppys might.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In horrible destruction and doleful shades the interloper yet be bound,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">salvage we will the would be conquerors smoking wreckage strewn about in litter field profound.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In triumph we return oh gallant Rupture steed of glory,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">to raise a toast and tell your tale to all who yearn to hear your wondrous story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Their legs our women lovingly will spread, and tightly wrap around our loins,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">with ardor heightened by the spoils of faction mods and glimmering purloined coins.</span></div>
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/04/crying-game.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2012-04-04T18:21:00-07:00">6:21 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2012/04/crying-game.html#comment-form"> 8 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=7729787351441492782" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214033045im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /></a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-91667425292765451662014-08-11T12:37:00.001-07:002014-08-11T12:37:38.187-07:00THE COMPANY WE KEEP! Or YOU ARE THE TOP CHEF!<br />
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011</h2>
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbFu3B7IW73MfiB3zQZu7Nybv_rtmwHJOZGunfNwIVfR6r9sBapJkvgejWvwiXdxRFAuHaTzMSytappLHyT94EllzzUhPQukSFWbrYwyQBeIg_SXftP4beS5BdKP9L00igPC7eH5Tka6E/s1600/chefhat.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbFu3B7IW73MfiB3zQZu7Nybv_rtmwHJOZGunfNwIVfR6r9sBapJkvgejWvwiXdxRFAuHaTzMSytappLHyT94EllzzUhPQukSFWbrYwyQBeIg_SXftP4beS5BdKP9L00igPC7eH5Tka6E/s1600/chefhat.bmp" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">(Warning: gratuitous expletives and quasi stream of consciousness shit below)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t know if it is apparent from the tone of my recent blog postings, but I am having a grand time flying and raising hell with the upstart Black Rebel Rifter Club, the brainchild and creation of renowned New Eden pilot Miura Bull.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/">http://brutorbullfighter.blogspot.com/</a> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whoever coined the ancient phrase “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">motley crew</b>” deserves a fucking prize for clairvoyance because he clearly had the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BRRC</b> in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a corporation whose makeup will remind you of your favorite aunt’s mysterious but delicious stew. If your dear aunt is anything like mine her “surprise” stew is a concoction bursting with flavor because it has a pinch of this a smidgen of that and a cupful of whatever.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Keep stirring mijo”, my dear Tia Chalupa used to tell me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“It will come together and surprise you. Andale!” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She called her stew “Caballo Sorpresa*”.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7v2sFY5GOybRwjNyssNHu-UFaGw9r7XL9z3PM17-VGd-FZCxXwC7jkNBeolIUbkb-H745FGpYbALZ1bjVzYvYY8DOOdJRRo1LRZr22Hv6F_EQ1xoHpCvcKHMzrvtkbh62p5U5Kou7AlQ/s1600/horsemeat.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="200" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417im_/https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7v2sFY5GOybRwjNyssNHu-UFaGw9r7XL9z3PM17-VGd-FZCxXwC7jkNBeolIUbkb-H745FGpYbALZ1bjVzYvYY8DOOdJRRo1LRZr22Hv6F_EQ1xoHpCvcKHMzrvtkbh62p5U5Kou7AlQ/s200/horsemeat.bmp" width="187" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Remember Lencho (her nickname for me) she would whisper to me in her most serious voice, “Each ingredient standing alone may seem ordinary and bland but when lovingly combined they suddenly coalesce and transform into a tangy, spicy and very savory treat. Toss in that horse tail quick!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She could be very professorial sounding. God Bless her!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>“Gracias tia. Quiero Mas!!” (For my gringo readers please note this means I WANT MORE!)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The culinary analogy above is the essence of the BRRC. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">E. pluribus Unum. From many one!! (Where have I seen that phrase?)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At over 90 members strong and growing, it is clear that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Uncle Miura</b> intends to keep adding to his version of the secret recipe for cooking up a killer corp. This group is quickly making an impact in our sector. They are efficient killers, clever and resourceful pilots and they are at times incomprehensibly hard to understand due to their wild card nature. They are collectively the Eve version of a spice rack laden with exotic varieties and Miura Bull is the chef with no qualms about applying them liberally to his corporate stew. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you dare to walk the corridors of our headquarters in Heild (make sure the lights are on!) you will be struck by the diversity of the personality types you encounter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You will see urbane, slick ladies men with coiffed meticulously waxed mustaches, stodgy and serious minded bean counters with portable calculating devices hanging from their belts, menacing homicidal hombres with dark brooding eyes and bloody knives in their scabbards, family men with young children playing at their feet, impressive one man think tanks with encyclopedic knowledge of piloting minutiae in their heads, orphaned unstable snot nosed youngsters looking to make a name for themselves, serial abusers of banned substances, whiskey swilling drunkards, purged rejects from other corporations, psychotic man-raping parolees, prison escapees, and nefarious practitioners of every sordid activity imaginable. Sometimes the above traits come packaged in one body! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Despite the broad spectrum of personality types chronicled above there is nonetheless a common trait present in all of them. A life view they share. That view is encapsulated in a two word phrase.</span></span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FUCK IT!!</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That is their answer to whatever challenges the murderously dangerous and foreboding Eve universe may present. It’s their calling card and reflects their attitude about everything! You gotta love these little bastards!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Admittedly, there are times when I question my own sanity in joining such an outlandishly unpredictable group. These fuckers have not hesitated to pop each other in the past. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The corporate issued protective flak jackets and vests we don prior to undocking are meant as much to enhance survivability in our own corporation as they are to protect us from outsiders. There is no guarantee that you will come back in one piece when you embark on any excursion with these blokes. You are just as likely to get popped by one of these dudes as you are to be blown to bits by the enemy! People often ask me why I am so concerned about being able to see my fleet mates in my overview.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not for the reasons you may suspect I assure you. I have to keep tabs on those putos!! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You always make sure you know in which direction a “loose cannon” is pointing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, this added uncertainty only heightens the excitement. We pirates do thrive on and love excitement right?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is why we hate the “CAREBEAR”. They have sold out. They are the antithesis of what we represent. They want comfort, security and shelter, amenities that we shun and have learned to do without.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You can have that life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Carebear wants certainty and predictability and is unsettled and knocked off balance by the irreverent mindset and unstructured lifestyle of a REBEL. Sorry assed hulk flying muppets!! Grow a pair!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are some in the Universe who have never learned to say and indeed will never bring themselves to say <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FUCK IT!! </b>Who wants to live like that? Die on your feet or live on your knees.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I slide my corpulent carcass** into the seat of my venerable Rifter, I always say a short prayer to the gods of New Eden for I know full well that the trip back in formation with my “CORPIES” may be the time when I am most in danger. My palms are ALWAYS sweaty when I finally dock up in our home station. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, I cannot see myself flying with any other bunch. Damn you Rebels!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why would this harrowing existence on the edge be appealing to anyone you might ask? Are you some kind of masochist Lhorenzho?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have any of you ever seen the old Earth show “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Fatal Attractions</b>”? (check your captains quarters video database you fucking couch potatoes)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some people are born with a bizarre fetish to have something acutely dangerous and potentially lethal nearby. We need to feel alive at all times. A close association with potential peril is our ticket to happiness. The term often used is adrenalin junkies. I am sure there is an element of that in all the Rebels.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am the fool who insists on living in a two room hovel with a hungry 600 pound man-eating Siberian tiger clone. I am the foster parent who agrees to “mentor” a convicted double axe murderer and his twin. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am the 400 pound*** man who climbs 10 feet up his rickety wood ladder to reach that last Twinkie on the top shelf of his pantry (look out below!!!).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FUCK IT! </b>If fatso falls he falls!!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">During a recent roam we had a young pilot who was contemplating joining our corporation ask us if he could tag along. It was quickly apparent that he was appalled and taken aback at the attitude and “operating procedures” of our R1fta pilots. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He was concerned about losing his ship and the cost of his modules. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">FUCK IT! There are more where those came from! Move it vato!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He was worried about the risk/reward ratios. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FUCK IT! The risk IS the reward silly! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quit dawdling!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He was concerned about the lack of planning and the ad hoc nature of the group. FUCK IT! We hate analysis paralysis dude. Warp in NOW pendejo!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He wanted to know who the FC was. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FUCK IT! There ain’t one. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t need no stinking FC! Press on cabron!.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He wanted to hang back and make sure he had complete “situational awareness”. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">FUCK IT!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will be aware when the situation hits you in the face! Step on it fool!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He asked about force multipliers and questioned our fleet composition.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">FUCK IT! Da Rifta is all ya need man. Get on with it!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He questioned our zeal to surge forward without fully knowing what was waiting for us at the belt.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FUCK IT! We will know when we get there! Prime your guns ese!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could hear the confusion and disappointment in his voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He could not fathom how we were operating. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He claimed he was “experienced” and even gently boasted that we could not catch him if we were ever to hunt him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He dropped some jargon that implied he was a strategist and a tactician. He sounded like a veritable mini Von Clausewitz. Sun Tzu had nothing on this kid. Yet, I instantly recognized that he would have difficulty fitting in with our group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank God recruitment was closed. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Flying with guys like Zodiac Black and DARKSTAR POWNYOUALL is proof that PvP fortune really does favor the brave. Their aggressive actions and play style add credibility to Lenin’s adage that you thrust forward with your sword first and then adjust depending on whether you meet mush or steel!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I could not imagine the kid on our roam “ride along” ever mustering up the courage or the will to say <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FUCK IT!</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s how this Rebel bunch rolls.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would not have it any other way nor would any of my BRRC brethren. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, they all have my grudging admiration. They are a unique brand of pilots.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They are a scary bunch and make me nervous when I haven’t had my courage bolstered with double shots of whiskey but I have learned to deal with my apprehension around these vatos. I need my adrenaline rush.</span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">FUCK IT!!</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">*My aunt kept a stomach pump on the premises</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">**Is there a Jenny Craig Clone in New Eden?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">***Seeking contact information to the EVE version of “The biggest loser”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="post-author vcard">Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2011/11/company-we-keep-or-you-are-top-chef.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2011-11-29T19:04:00-08:00">7:04 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2011/11/company-we-keep-or-you-are-top-chef.html#comment-form"> 6 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=298147365219937259" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-11850269684853307342014-08-11T12:37:00.000-07:002014-08-11T12:37:16.623-07:00Breaking The Spell That Binds<br />
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011</h2>
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I have some GREAT news! <br />
It has come to my attention that there is living in our wondrous Eve universe a verified clone of the great TED PATRICK, the acknowledged "<strong>father of deprogramming</strong>".<br />
To those of you unfamiliar with the name, just know that he was an accomplished cult interventionist and deprogrammer who specialized in performing what is known in the Anti-Cult world as Exit and Thought Reform consultations. Two components of Strategic Intervention Therapy.<br />
In other words when some simpleton (and there are plenty tooling around in spaceships I guarantee you) fell under the spell of a slick Cult of personality practitioner, Mr. Patrick would be retained in order to rescue the person and return them to their family.<br />
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Some of you little fuckers with low attention spans and little patience for more challenging intellectual discussions might be fidgeting in your seats right about now.What the hell does this shit have to do with flying an internet spaceship you might be asking? I want to shoot something Lhorenzho why are you boring me with what sounds like pop psychology babble?<br />
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Bear with me you pirate blockheads. I will clarify soon enough.<br />
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But first a disclaimer and a caveat.<br />
In order to add some perspective to the narrative that follows it will be necessary for me to air some of our corporations "dirty laundry".<br />
I do apologize for that and I must make it perfectly clear that I do so without malice and with a great deal of consternation and some regret. This has to be written. Our mighty corporation is in grave peril. <br />
Our leader, the respected, inimitable, and sometimes mysterious Miura Bull is a CULT leader!! <br />
There I have said it. It has been eating at me for months!<br />
I had suspected as much to be honest, but, I was reticent to take any action.<br />
Miura Bull can be an intimidating figura and sometimes is not an easy person to approach when certain hot issues require discussion. How do you tell someone he has become a fucking CULT leader?<br />
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I was prepared to let this go. I was perfectly willing to let the matter play itself out and just cross my fingers and hope that all would end well without any active maneuvering on my part. Sadly, this option was not available any more. <br />
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Yesterday, in our corporation chat area, I heard one of my corpies lament the fact that Eve was filled with people lined up to be summarily podded by Miura Bull.<br />
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My corpies words were and I am paraphrasing here..."<strong>people always fall in your lap MB. You never have to go hunting for kills! They come willingly to you to get popped!"</strong><br />
I listened to this complaint and had to silently agree. I myself had seen a plethora of salivating acolytes who lived solely to be podded by MIURA BULL. Its a badge of honor with them. The only ray of sunlight in their dreary lives. Humanoids!!<br />
While the rest of us spend hours and hours roaming and hunting hoping against hope to run into someone who would engage us in honorable combat, Miura Bull has to merely sit in a belt announce his presence in local and then wait as the hero worshippers undock and rush out to be slaughtered. I doubt they even take the time to load ammo.It is said that in the Aztec culture, many of the people to be sacrificed would rush to lay on the altar to have their hearts cut out!! We are seeing a similiar syndrome developing here. <br />
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In another world, these sickening little MB cult followers would be called groupies or sycophantic courtiers. Miura himself was boasting recently of stumbling upon miners in low sec who would move toward him rather than warping away. He claimed he even told one miner to "warp away" but the roid ripper chose to die at his hands instead! "KILL ME MIURA!!! My life will have meaning!" These are apparently the last words these sock puppets utter.<br />
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Yes, I know this sounds like jealousy and sour grapes. Many of you are wondering why I am not just happy that my CEO has this kind of effect on people and that I should rejoice in the ease with which he accrues KILLS. <br />
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That is not the issue or the point here! There is an overriding concern here. A bigger more noble thing to be protected. The Black Rebel Rifter Club must be preserved.<br />
I am not just worried about the effect he has on those outside our BRRC. I suspect that in the influx of new recruits we have recently admitted that there are some who are equally starry eyed and mesmerized by the persona that is Miura Bull! He is building his CULT even from within our beloved corporation! <br />
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WE ARE ABOUT TO BECOME A FULL FLEDGED CULT!!<br />
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ENOUGH! <br />
At this point I could delve into the literature and theory of CULTS and try to drive home the point to some of you who are skeptical of my fears as to just how dangerous this path we are on can be.<br />
I will not do that. We dont have the fucking time for that!<br />
I intend to start the healing process immediately. <br />
Recently, I made a donation to our corporations Agony Unleashed training fund. I threw that fucking money away! What was I thinking?<br />
My first inclination was to set up a mental health arm to our corporation with a specifice Cult awareness and treatment branch. I should have done that! I should have followed my gut instinct.<br />
No use crying over spilled milk. It is not too late.<br />
I will be making another donation, this time to the TED PATRICK foundation so that I can enroll as many of my corpies in the deprogramming course as I can. <br />
Some of them may have to be forcibly taken and subjected to the Patrick protocols. So be it. The process of tearing people away from practitioners of the CULT OF PERSONALITY as practiced by MIURA BULL and his ilk is called <strong>SNAPPING!</strong> <br />
We will be doing a lot of snapping in the BRRC in the coming months.<br />
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I personally am fighting my own demons. This whole process has me unsettled.<br />
I am torn between my love for my Boss and my apprehension at where he is going with this cult shit. I am suffering what is called COGNITIVE Dissonance i.e holding conflicting ideas simultaneously! <br />
Pray that I have the resolve and the will to see this battle to the end. <br />
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2011/11/breaking-spell-that-binds.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2011-11-16T10:51:00-08:00">10:51 AM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2011/11/breaking-spell-that-binds.html#comment-form"> 5 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=1060355958670085877" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1703096760"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417/http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=1060355958670085877&from=pencil" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="18" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214051417im_/http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" width="18" /> </a> </span> </span> <br />
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Lhorenzhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3679993430751946795.post-37409895180377214942014-08-11T12:36:00.002-07:002014-08-11T12:36:56.345-07:00DONG dings KANE - PIZZA as a WAR TACTIC!<br />
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Wednesday, August 31, 2011</h2>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey, Kane Rizzel is in Gus. Anyone want to take him on?” Those were the words uttered by my young corpmate, the impressive, highly knowledgeable and rambunctious Dong Orson, the other day as we sat in station in the Auner system, one of our new Black Rebel Rifter club’s headquarters. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“He is always in Gus”, I recall responding. “We look forward to reading your battle report”, I remember saying to him. "And don't forget to get his autograph for me!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> Gusandall in the Heimatar region is a known hangout and presumably the home system of the infamous pirate and notorious PvPer, Kane Rizzel. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> Now Kane, despite his fearsome reputation, is a man who is approachable and is not above engaging in conversation with starry eyed noob pilots, many, I might add, who harbor fanciful delusions of popping the well-known capsuleer. The point is Kane Rizzel is not one of those Eve luminaries who think it is beneath them to talk to the “unwashed masses” that dart to and fro in our vast New Eden universe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I myself elicited a DareDevil fit from Rizzel a while back after reading a narrative on his blog about his exploits while piloting his beloved “Sgt. Antigua”. I had just bought my first Daredevil and figured if I was going to solicit a fit from someone it might as well be from the DD virtuoso himself. Since I occasionally spent time in some of the channels where Rizell did, I mustered up the courage one day and brazenly asked him for the DD fit. Hey stupid is as stupid does. Life is like a box of chocolates and all that shit!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">What did I have to lose.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> Much to my surprise Rizzel was very helpful giving me not only his fit but also adding some much needed information about the types of modules I should fit (he emphasized a specific faction webber) and he tossed in some recommended tactics to utilize, in particular when engaging the pesky Dramiels. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> It would not be hyperbole to state that Rizzel is without equal when it comes to flying the daredevil. The dude will eat your lunch. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">After Dong made his observation about spotting Rizzel, I fully expected him to move on and the matter would end there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Dong was in his Hawk and he was out and about doing what the Black Rebels do best, that is, looking for trouble. But, looking for trouble is one thing, engaging one of Eve’s most celebrated and successful pirates is another. Before I knew it, Dong dropped his bombshell.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">“Kane has agreed to a one v one.” </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank God Dong didn’t hear me drop my cup of coffee. I was thankful I wasn't drinking my usual superheated cup of Mcdonalds coffee (senior citizen cup 49cents) or I would have had some hardboiled "huevos". AY AY AY!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Where do you want me to send your saddle”, I joked only half believing his boast.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">LoL he typed. Then a long silence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Holy shit Dong, Is he in his Daredevil?”, I asked once I realized he was not kidding.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think he is in a Jaguar”, he responded.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well that is either a compliment or an insult”, I told him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Suddenly, the air became more tense and it was clear the wheels in Dong’s head were spinning, no doubt formulating possible strategies for his upcoming engagement. We made small talk. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Had he made arrangements to have his frozen corpse collected? Should I offer to do that and collect his loot as well? My own mind was now racing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Dong commented on the statements in Kane’s bio and we shared a laugh, but it was clear, Dong was getting his game face on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Dang, I am already nervous”, he told me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> “Who wouldn’t be nervous. It’s only natural”, I said.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">He's KANE RIZZEL!!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">AFK DUEL.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> The above suddenly popped up in our corp chat window.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I poured myself a whiskey and settled back in my chair to await the results. Should I light a cigarette? The fight would be over before the 7 minutes it took to smoke my Kool filter king elapsed. I kept my lighter in my pocket.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">ITS OVER!</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The words in chat made me sit up. I prepared to offer words of encouragement and condolences. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">There would be another day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> Hey you gave it your best shot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">You can always get a rematch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">He is a more experienced combat pilot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Kane got lucky. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I had any number of standard clichés that you would tell someone who had just been spanked in combat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“It was a DRAW!”, Dong wrote.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“We couldn’t break each others tank!” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Dong then inserted into chat a comment made by Kane complimenting the tank on Dong’s Hawk. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">WOW!</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“And Kane had to get the door. He had a pizza delivery!” </span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">There it was. The winning tactic. (Winning yes because even a draw with Rizzel might be considered a feather in someone’s cap)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Dong you sly little fucker.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I have heard of food being used as an anti-depressant. Some people eat massive amounts of food to quell their frayed nerves. Some foods are touted to have impressive anti-oxidant properties. Some are said to prevent cancer. Yes, throughout history, food has been used in many creative ways and has served many purposes. It is even used in the "boudoir" sometimes to aid in hanky panky.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I have never, however, heard of a food item being used as a combat tactic in New Eden. How did he do it? How did he arrange to have a pizza delivered to the flat of one of Eve’s top killers at just the right moment? Dong admitted that had the engagement drug on, he most likely would have lost as he had pretty much capped out. All hail the mighty pizza.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It was DONG's version of the desperation haymaker landed in the 15th round. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It was the walk off home run in the bottom of the 9th. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The great equalizer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I am an idiot.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I have printed up reams and reams of articles, white papers, and other works over the years whose sole purpose is to instruct one in the fine art of Eve combat.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I often stayed up late at night bleary-eyed reading with a tiny night light reciting and memorizing stuff, all in the hope that I might some day battle the likes of Rizzel, Wensley, Miura Bull, and Sard Caid to a standstill!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Talk about barking up the wrong tree! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I will have to re-examine my Eve training practices and priorities.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been poring over the above documents and intricate charts of optimal and falloff ranges of turrets and memorizing Ewar module statistics and reviewing data on the resist holes and bonuses of various ship types when what I should have been doing is collecting pizza delivery tables for the home towns of all of Eve’s combat icons! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"> I don’t fear them anymore!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Wensley are you up for a 1 v1 buddy? I have an ace up my sleeve now sir. Your charts and graphs aren’t gonna help you now. When that doorbell rings you are mine. I will even throw in a coke!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Of course Dong would not reveal details of his strategy. Is there a preferred topping? Would a combination pizza be the ultimate weapon? I will keep probing until he gives up his secrets.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">BTW. Kane gave DONG a rain-check for a rematch. NO problemo baby. The pizza parlor number is on speed dial!!!</span></div>
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<span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <a class="g-profile" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053847/http://www.blogger.com/profile/13738441972002135310" rel="author" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Lhorenzho</span> </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053847/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2011/08/dong-dings-kane-pizza-as-war-tactic.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" title="2011-08-31T13:00:00-07:00">1:00 PM</abbr></a> </span> <span class="post-comment-link"><a class="comment-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053847/http://thepoppedpod.blogspot.com/2011/08/dong-dings-kane-pizza-as-war-tactic.html#comment-form"> 4 comments: </a> </span> <span class="post-icons"><span class="item-action"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053847/http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=3679993430751946795&postID=5173164110726057041" title="Email Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" height="13" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20140214053847im_/http://img1.blogblog.com/img/icon18_email.gif" width="18" /> </a></span></span></div>
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