Friday, July 24, 2015


Plaintiff, LHORENZHO
CBD station

Susan Derpantsoff Attorney-at-Law

Lhorenzho, Hamul Jinn, et. al. (to include other as yet unnamed John Does that may request joinder via Class Action suit)


MIURA BULL, Neo-Bushido

Case No: unassigned

Plaintiff Lhorenzho and named (Hamul Jinn) and unnamed co plaintiffs move for the issuance of a preliminary injunction pending the outcome of trial in this action, enjoining defendant MIURA BULL and his employees, agents, and persons acting with him or on his behalf, from creating this Mentorship Program.
This motion is based upon the memorandum in support and declaration set forth below, and the complaint in this action.

List of materials and exhibits:
exhibit: 2A-24D

exhibit: 2A-24E

There is an old adage that states simply..."STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT".

This ancient catchphrase has been the motivation for many a charlatan to move actively and resolutely on his  unbridled impulses to swindle, con, cheat, scam, hoodwink, connive, fleece, bilk, hustle and rip-off his unsuspecting targets.

The recent publication of what has been described as a  "WHITE PAPER (exhibit 2A-24E) ostensibly compiled, collated, synthesized and summarized by NEW EDEN statistical data crunchers and collectors  was the apparent catalyst that inspired defendant MIURA BULL to establish his latest instrument of deceit and chicanery, THE ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM. (exhibit 2A-24D)

The only adjective to describe this program is OUTRAGEOUS.

 As an aside and relating to the WHITE PAPER, where is the legendary math error correcting BEAN COUNTER Kaeda Maxwell when you need him to proof read an important paper being used by a twisted leader for nefarious ends?
Now more than ever your alliance needs you!
Step forward and expose the mathematical shortcomings of Da Bull's source of inspiration.


As a bit of background I provide the following short paragraphs.

Our legal firm has a long history of acrimonious interactions with MIURA BULL.

I would direct the court to have the clerk pull all documents filed by us in the last 5 years as they will clearly demonstrate the contentious nature of our contact.

I have never met MIURA BULL personally but have had, as the record will show, innumerable contacts of one form or another stemming from his continual malfeasance in conducting his affairs.

Generally, I would not waste a moment worrying about the activities of a known criminal, but when his actions bring him into conflict with my employer, a powerful man in his own right, I am forced to act with impunity.

As the current and long standing legal representative of LHORENZHO, we have had to confront "DA BULL", as he is affectionately called by his minions, almost daily either by way of communication device warnings, restraining orders or actual legal  filings as we attempted  to quell his penchant for odiously outrageous schemes generally  meant to missappropriate funds from various individuals and corporate entities.

I will not try the courts patience by detailing the scurrilous marketing schemes he has orchestrated over the years in his efforts to scam honest hard working pilots out of their hard earned ISK by selling brazenly bogus items such as "a box of hope".

The actions speak for themselves.
Res Ipsa Loquitor!

With a track record like that is it any wonder that he has now been emboldened to sell "FUN".

FUN is the last thing his underlings would use as a descriptor to characterize their existence under his heinous reign.

Its no secret that corporations under his tutelage have over the years suffered from an inordinate number of maladies and unfortunate incidents to include but certainly not limited to bio-massings, hooliganistic brawls after hours injuring innocent hard working strippers (they desperately need to unionize), widespread alcohol and drug abuse, human, animal and clone trafficking, creating and exploiting bio-mechanical devices (SGU's and PMU's), countless child labor law violations, and the unmitigated production and selling of subpar equipment and modules, many to his own pilots.

The list is endless.

I might add that he exerts tremendous pressure on his own membership to purchase ALL of their supplies from his "suppliers" which according to our investigative efforts appear to be agents operating in shadow corporations fully owned and operated by MIURA BULL.

Lest the court view this filing as a mere litany of anecdotal complaints compiled by me personally as Lhorenzho's legal counsel, let it be known that at trial we intend to parade an array of witnesses before the court that will establish clearly the need for some form of  governmental, administrative and/or  judicial management of this out of control and diabolical "force of nature" that is MIURA BULL.

He must be stopped before he embellishes further his devilish legacy.
As the bard said...."The evil that men do lives after them: the good is oft interred with their bones."

While we intend at this juncture to deal only with stopping the implementation of the ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM, our hope is that ultimately our success here will act as a template of sorts to guide others as they attempt to curb and corral further transgressions and peccadillos that may be fermenting in Mr. BULL's twisted mind.
I recall a line from the great Doors singer that stated..."HIS MIND IS SQUIRMING LIKE A TOAD!" Dare I say Mr. Bull resembles that remark?
 Like a precociously naughty child he must be put on a permanent "TIME OUT".

Although this has been noted above as an exhibit, it is linked here again for the courts convenience.

I plan on referring to this document only briefly as I conclude this filing but the court is advised that we will be dissecting this memorandum in great detail at trial as well as the PVP "white paper" which Miura Bull has suggested gives him some form of authority to push forward with his plans.

I must stress that the ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM while touted by its developer as being "voluntary" is nothing but and that Miura Bull as is his custom will find a means to coerce the membership into enrolling either by direct pressure or through pressure exerted by his mechanical overseers, SEMI AUTONOMOUS GUARD UNIT (SGU) and the PROTOTYPE MOTIVATIONAL UNIT (PMU).

Separate filings asking the court to issue an order that these units be sent to a Junk Crushing Yard for recycling is pending and will be filed shortly. These two contraptions would best serve the public interest functioning as lamp stands.
We again ask that the court render an expedited order on this issue as well.

More specifically, the court is now also asked to supersede Miura Bull's corporate authority at this point in time and summarily authorize Lhorenzho to accept the application for admission filed by Hamul Jinn. We pray the court will issue an immediate order on this pivotal issue.

Miura Bull has made it clear to my client LHORENZHO that Hamul Jinn is to be considered for admission ONLY if he accepts the condition that he enter the prohibitively costly "MENTORSHIP PROGRAM".

It is rare for Lhorenzho to "VOUCH" for an applicant, but he was singularily impressed by Mr. Jinn's presentation, demeanor, and combat record, in particular the CRAKE GATERAU Kill mail that is the crown jewel on Mr. Jinn's resume.
The court must NOT allow Miura Bull to deligitimize, devalue and render worthless a Lhorenzho "VOUCH".

FUN as a product to be sold: 

The law describes an AMBIGUOUS term as one....."open to more than one interpretation; having a double meaning, Unclear or inexact, of doubtful or uncertain nature..."
There are other more technical definitions but the above should suffice for the layman and the "pirate types" that may stumble on this filing.
We certainly do not want to confuse their already combat addled brains further.

There can be no dispute that to sell FUN is an activity best left to carnival barkers and bordello operators.
To make the sale of "FUN" the centerpiece of a NEW EDEN wide marketing campaign whose intent is to rake in billions and trillions of ISK while hawking a nebulous and amorphously murky concept is at best questionable and at most acutely criminal, especially considering that the first likely victims will be those most incapable of  absorbing the financial burden this program will impose upon them, namely his own alliance brothers.

What is FUN? One man's fun is another man's torture.
Can FUN be put in a BOX OF HOPE?

Our legal firm has employed a small army of junior partners to pore over the WHITE PAPER and the ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM in excruciating detail.

They have found preliminarily a plethora of collective bargaining violations (coercing members into performing non union classified jobs categorized as FUN AGENTS), abject misrepresentations (e.g. claiming Miura Bull is a featured fun expert on channels and shows), and a host of other potentially criminal and civil crimes that will be exposed at trial.

While Miura Bull claims the sole right to expand and grow the Neo Bushido Alliance he is nevertheless required to confer with his own created "Council of leadears" when his actions may result in a sudden and exponential growth in membership. Any first year business student at Caldari U knows that uncontrolled growth in an enterprise is never a good thing.
The unofficial leadership cadre, this quasi mysterious Council of Leaders must still be given the opportunity to address this issue.
Fittingly, Lhorenzho is the leader of that council.

Miura Bull has stubbornly refused to convene this body of wise men and this omission must also be addressed.

The entire corporate ethos at SKRMR and Neo Bushido revolves around small gang warfare operating from within the confines of a small elite and very proud core of pilots.

To entertain this fanciful ALLIANCE MENTORSHIP PROGRAM is madness and its clear manifestations will undoubtedly be to destroy the Neo Bushido way of life.

This selling of "FUN" is clearly meant to induce an ill advised recruiting rush and indeed his own materials boast that the mentorship program will facilitate the rapid  recruiting of entire alliances into the fold.
This will be the death knell of NEO-BUSHIDO and Skrmr.

What a chaotic atmosphere he has fomented.

On one hand singlehandedly standing at the doorway impeding the admission of one Hamul Jinn and on the other hand actively selling and recruiting to a potential pool of thousands.

The contradictions are astounding.

The damage that will be done to the existing alliance structure and lifestyle may turn out to be incalculable.

Susan Derpantsoff Esquire.
Gulmorogod CBD station. suite 105A

Monday, August 11, 2014

Housekeeping Issues

I want to apologize for the inordinate number of posts listed for the month of august.

They are merely reposting's of blog entries previously issued.

Sadly, in a hysterical, emotion filled state of lunacy, I recently deleted all blog entries as I prepared to "RAGE QUIT" this game.

The game had literally broken me and I wanted out.

As is often the case, I reconsidered and well, here I am back again.

I did lament the loss of the postings and struggled with various methods in trying to recoup the material.

Thankfully, a wonderful utility called THE WAYBACK MACHINE, facilitated my efforts to reclaim the posts which I though were lost forever.

I realize that there is nothing of great value recorded herein but in a moment of reflection it dawned on me that perhaps there may be a reason someday down the road where I might want to share these crazy scribblings with a trusted loved family member. (once they are of age of course)

This game has too much to offer by way of content and wonderful company to leave on a sudden impulse.
I realize that now.


Tuesday, May 13, 2014



New Eden authorities open investigative inquiries.
Miura Bull questioned.

Bex Bixley - UPI correspondent.

Local authorities, responding to a tip from an unknown female were summoned to the site of an unauthorized BIOMASSING yesterday afternoon.

The distraught woman, who has yet to be identified was taken to the local magistrates office for interrogation and subsequently released.

"He is dead. He is dead!!" She was heard to wail as she was led away by system officials.

A  concorde spokesperson speaking anonymously has verified that the woman was a member of the custodial crew and discovered the grisly remains in the chamber while cleaning the premises.

The pilot has been identified through DNA testing as CRAKE GATERAU, a member of the SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR) corporation, a well known and controversial pirate entity led by Miura Bull.

Gaterau was a celebrated PvP practitioner who had in recent times propelled himself into the top 10 of the BattleClinic rankings.

The death has been ruled a suicide.
This determination is based on the contents of a blog journal entry that was discovered in Gaterau's quarters, however, questions remain and local law enforcement  has indicated that there is a possibility that charges may be brought against several individuals of interest.

Documentation found at Gatereu's quarters has also raised suspicions of workplace abuses that may have precipitated the unfortunate incident.

"What we found was disturbing and frankly, Miura Bull has a sordid history of these type of indiscretions and it does not surprise me that his policies have led to this tragedy", said lieutenant Marcos Mendoza Lopez..

"We have been monitoring the situation in SKRMR for quite some time and I am sorry that this happened before we could bring charges" added Lopez.!

"This investigation is not over. Not by a long shot.", whispered Lopez as he gingerly collected the remains in a small cup.
Details regarding memorial services for the deceased have not been released.

The newspaper account of the incident  has broken my heart.
I ask your indulgence and patience as you work your way through this emotional and disjointed diatribe.

Well, it has finally happened.
The last posting above, which I have taken the liberty of linking here from his journal speaks for itself.

As I predicted in an earlier writing, the rigors and unrelenting demands of the SCREAMING  HAYABUSA, kill at all cost, we must rule the Battleclinic rankings bloodlust culture, a culture pushed with implacable cruelty to its most tragic consequences by a ruthless CEO who appears woefully oblivious to its manifestations and spirit breaking repercussions, has claimed its first victim.

I fear there may be more to follow.

My beloved corpmate, the popular, highly respected rising star and dogfight phenom CRAKE GATERAU, he whose future was by all accounts limitless and filled with hope and driven by dreams of attaining pirating perfection, has committed suicide.

He has walked into the BIOMASS chamber.

He is no more.

That glorious, dazzlingly brilliant, PvP virtuouso has burned out and been reduced to a couple of ounces of BIOMASS debris.

Our dear CG is gone forever.

We, his adoring corpmates are devastated.

He took his own life when it appeared it was at the apex of its brilliance.

The young, kind, generous  kid, who would on an almost daily basis surprise me with contracts of wine, spirit, smokes, and hookers is gone.
He was always worried about my spirit and how I was holding up.

SKRMR is in turmoil over these developments, and well it should be.

As the venerable Thomas Hobbes clone #234-A32  once uttered, the life of the solo pirate in the brutally unforgiving vastness of NEW EDEN is certain to be nasty, brutish, and short.

Despite this immutable truth, we cannot lose hope that our innate goodness as a species will ultimately win out and temper the intrinsic evil that so perniciously permeates our existence as it is shaped by NEW EDEN.

CG was cognizant of this maxim and insisted on his pursuit of PVP excellence despite the deadly milieu in which he had to operate and ply his deadly trade.

He was a gentle soul and he was a warrior's warrior.

He understood that there was no incongruity in these seemingly contradictory stances.
A brutal universe did not mean an abandonment of our humanity.

He was also a hard working brave young soul.

Now he is gone.

We, the ones left behind cannot lose hope.
His memory mandates that we not give up.

While untold numbers of young capsuleers toil in virtual obscurity and desolate loneliness on a daily basis in the thousands and thousands of star systems of NEW EDEN, there is still the earnest belief prevalent I firmly believe, that basic human tenets of respect, kindness, and comfort will be given consideration and will hold sway and will not wane and vanish in the smoke of autocannon fire.

Gratuitous fiendish savagery and rancor are not required to be a warrior.

We will NEVER surrender to our barbaric nature. We must not.
CG was a warrior who understood this.
You can be a magnificent warrior and retain all those properties and virtues that make HUMAN KIND such an admirable life form.

Yet, there is a harsh reality that cannot be avoided.
New Eden fights us hard everyday!
It wants us reduced to our lowest common denominator.

There is NO room for idealism or altruistic sentiments in the existence known as NEW EDEN. 
Not if she has her way.
We have all learned over time to live and accept that fact.
Do not misunderstand me.
They exist and can be embraced privately and in secret but we are discouraged from openly acknowledging them as virtues to be practiced or perfected.

Unfortunately, in some circles, individuals of depraved, unscrupulous and iniquitous nature take this fact and use it as a template to heap even more pain, agony, and cruelty upon their minions.

This was and is especially true in that ghastly enclave known as THE SCREAMING HAYABUSAS.
Imagine the inherent brutality of NEW EDEN writ small and much more concentrated.
That was and is SKRMR.

The leadership of MIURA BULL would never permit any stasis other than complete surrender to our most base primitive urges and compulsions.

This is why the fingers of accusation are ALL pointed at the SKRMR CEO.

We know WHO to blame.

The overriding question is of course WHY?
Some will still ask why despite the framework I have provided above.

What could have prompted someone,who apparently had so much to live for in NEW EDEN to take such a radical step?

In scenarios like this, there is of course a preliminary period of grieving, followed by necessary inquiry and questioning, and ending ultimately in finger pointing.

Without question, as I have already alluded to above, ALL fingers are pointing at the CEO of the Screaming Hayabusa.

Yes, we are looking at you Miura Bull!!

Life, even in the warriors reality is still to be honored and treasured and is not to be frittered away or wasted, especially to serve the needs of certain megalomaniacal personas.

The unmitigated desire for personal aggrandizement found in many of NEW EDEN's ruling corporate elite must be quelled.
People cannot and should not be subordinated to this narcissistic objective.
Sadly, this admonition was ignored in the Hayabusa corporation.

WHERE WAS OUR LEADER WHEN CG WAS SUFFERING? Why was he oblivious to his condition?

Our young friend and corpmate had for some time now been clearly on the brink.

It was obvious even to the most obtuse of pirate dunderheads in the SKRMR collective that he was becoming increasingly disenchanted and disillusioned with his life in SKRMR.

He was being pushed too hard and for too long.

Frankly, many of us were.
He was not alone in that mindset.
Still, we are haunted by that doleful question.

What could we have done to prevent this?

Multiple times in recent weeks, our young friend made overtures to us and in his own way reached out to us and asked for our help but we did not respond.
He was ashamed to be forthright with us and reticent to clearly articulate the depths of his concerns and worries to us lest he be judged.

He was, as many of us in SKRMR have been conditioned to be, ashamed to show weakness and vulnerability because to do so would violate an unwritten rule of the HAYABUSA cult!
We are tough and we kill.

Instead he only hinted about his personal adversity and  rapidly failing coping mechanisms and hoped for a helping hand and then when no help was forthcoming, continued on with the execution of his life sapping orders.

Orders from MIURA BULL.

Orders that were conceived with only one purpose in mind, the preservation of the MIURA BULL mystique.
This could only be achieved by maintaining a lofty position on the corporate rankings.
The order was clear and was to be strived for at ALL costs in both material and personnel.
No collateral damage was too great.
No price too heavy to pay.

You did not complain EVER.
You just undocked.
You KILLED and then KILLED some more.


That message droned down to us daily from the ivory tower where our corporate leadership resided.
It is a leadership cadre of ONE.

The pressure that kid must have felt.
We ALL felt the pressure, but CG felt it more acutely than anyone else.

Recently, I commented on the toxic nature of this corporate competition and on the dangers of a prolonged drive to maintain KB dominance.

I warned of its possible ramifications.

Now CG, our guiding PVP light has been extinguished.

Many times I advised him to slow down and take time off.

He refused and appeared compelled by some unholy forces to continue his campaign to make MIURA BULL proud of him.
He had drunk the koolaid and was lost to us.

Like a puppet on a string, he pressed forward and did the obligatory rueful dance, putting on a brave face, and venturing forth every day to "FEED BEBBY!"


How we have grown to hate that exhortation!!!

That "FEED BEBBY" mantra was the cry that was expected from every pilot in SKRMR before undocking and it was the precursor, the condition precedent, to this young mans early and most untimely death.

And  yet, our own sense of despair as we watched his inexorable deterioration and unrestrained downward spiral to his ultimate death, was not enough to motivate us to act.

We could not commiserate with him or share in his torment because that would be acknowledging our own weaknesses.
We were ensnared in the same vile despicable web!

To show weakness and vulnerability in SKRMR was, according to MIURA BULL, to invite capitulation and submission and abnegation.

It was a renunciation of the SKRMR creed and a welcoming of all things lily-livered and chickenhearted and timorous and weak-kneed.

You were a yellow belly, a spineless, cowering, fainthearted sissy!

You pushed ON and never looked back!


That was ALL that mattered.

The HAYABUSA chief will of course accuse me of "SPINNING" this scenario in order to put him in the worst possible light.

No spin is necessary as the  facts are self evident.

The Hayabusa culture and corporate ethos, powered by the vainglorious self absorption of its leader, is solely to blame for the loss of our dear friend.

SKRMR champions, Tanya Harding, Round Bellies, a challenge to R1FTA, and other stuff

Sunday, May 4, 2014

First, I ask you to take a gander at the implement pictured above.

It is officially called an ASP Baton, and it was the East L.A.  homeboys tool of choice for making sure the old lady  was "always in the mood", that is until that foolish Jeff Gilooly, ex husband of notorious bad girl skater, Tanya Harding, hired some dim wit to use one to whack Nancy Kerrigan in the knee.

In the barrio, we never heard the words, "Not Tonight Viejo, I have a headache!".
No gleam killer for us.
This baton was better than any aspirin.
You merely pointed to the tool in the corner of the room and you would soon as Shakespeare so aptly stated be the  recipient of....  ‘profit’s yet to come ‘tween me and you’

"COSITAS BUENAS" as that  great salsa song used to say

Also, as an ergonomic aside,  it possessed a symmetry and balance that made it a joy to "wield".
A random non-sequitor I know but an important point to make.

Now, thanks to that foolish shortsighted Gillooly, this marvelous magic wand has been forever stigmatized as a tool for nefarious actions, throwing it into the heap along with brass knuckles, the Tucker telephone, and the Cat o nine tails. (you will have to research those yourself).

We will come back to this BATON in a few minutes.

I have other quick issues to cover.

Lets press on.

Recently, Miura Bull, the chief of the Screaming Hayabusa (SKRMR),  published a blog post that has, as I so astutely predicted after first reading it, created havoc within the membership of SKRMR and may ultimately spell the demise of that great organzation.

Yes this knee jerk policy and proposal could topple the HAYABUSAS!

Here is the blog post:

When he first published the blog, I penned a strongly worded cautionary post on our forums, hoping to convince Da BULL that he should table this whole idea.

Predictably, as is his custom,  he ignored my admonitions and set the corp upon itself, forcing us to battle night and day, for the purposes of being named SKRMR champion.


There isn't even a fucking belt!

Many who have read this blog in the past are keenly aware of the ongoing battle I have had with this CEO.

Frankly, he could care less if his entire corporation to the man/woman toppled over from sheer exhaustion.

He is, I am afraid, a misanthropist of the first order.

This blog post of mine is being penned on the 5th of May and already I have seen the deleterious effects this policy has promulgated.

Every active member of the corporation is undocked and scrambling for their lives, killing everything that moves or even doesn't move but at a heavy cost.

Day old noobs, cyno ships, and celestial objects of all types are being destroyed and at record numbers.
This is saying something as the HAYABUSA, are the top ranked PvP corporation by BC standards.

Many have already complained that they just cannot go on.

I have become the unofficial ample "shoulder to cry on".
But what can I do?

I pat them on the head, wipe their little tears, give them a shot of whiskey and push them off the undock.
My hands are tied!!

Now, I must address the sexism I have encountered and at this juncture we reconnect to  to the BATON discussion noted above.

At the beginning of the month, one of our newest members and a former chief of R1FTA, Arianne Stone, stormed out of the gates and took a quick lead on the KillBoard.
She was a sight to behold. A femme fatale indeed.

While chatting casually with the BOSS, he intimated that having a girl at the top could be problematic from a public relations point of view.

I of course did not agree.

Now I am not up on all the "emoticon" language and am fuzzy on what  inferences those little characters may convey when served up in a chat.
But what I saw next troubled me.

I saw what looked like a winking eye pop up and a comment from Da Bull about someone doing a "KERRIGAN" on Arianne!!

Say What!!!
I have taken the liberty of ordering my dear ARI the following industrial strength knee pads.

I will let that sexist 15th century mindset sit in your gullet for a spell as I move on to yet another major concern of mine, since this has turned into a generalized complaint session.

Rampant age discrimination.

Late last night, while consoling another harried, distressed, young corpmate, I was stunned to hear words I had never hoped to hear in my tenure as pilot with SKRMR.

The young pilot, no doubt, overwhelmed with gratitude at my comforting words, looked up and with a smile called me "SENIOR SKRMR CHAMPION!"

Evidently in private, it is being bandied about that I should be competing in a separate division, a division  for older players, a division that golfer Lee Trevino used to refer to as the "ROUND BELLIES", when speaking about the senior PGA.

Yes I have a big round belly and an unflattering panniculus.
But surgery can remedy that dammit!!
My piloting skills are still excellent and I use my hands and my wits not my gut!!

I am thought incapable of competing on a level footing with these young punks.

I am certain that DA BULL both initiated and fueled the flames of that vicious rumor!

Well, I present the following for your perusal:

I am writing this blog post during a short respite, before I undock again.

The "EURO's" have  gone to bed and I will soon be out and about looking for targets.

As Will Varner told his son in THE LONG HOT SUMMER when referring to the rival Ben Quick...."He will be awake when you are asleep and he will be where you ain't!"

I am out there young whippersnappers and I am killing shit!!!

 I will log tonite and hit the sack sitting comfortably at the top of the KILLBOARD!!

How do you like them apples?

I apologize for the resentment and indignation that may be permeating this post but I am at my wits end.

Though I disagree with the whole SKRMR champion concept, I am going to teach those young punks a thing or two.

This goes for R1FTA as well. 
Watch yourselves young REBELS!!

This month and only this month I will put my feeling aside and push for that TITLE!!

You have awakened a sleeping sexagenarian!!!!!

Watch your six punks!!!!


Sunday, March 2, 2014

Authorities have responded to the GULMO CBD storage station in HEIMATAR region, where a despondent and possibly mentally deranged pirate identified as "LHORENZHO" has taken two hostages and has sequestered himself in a locked BIOMASS chamber in the station.

According to local unnamed spokespersons, LHORENZHO went berserk after losing a workers compensation claim against his employer, THE SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR), an outfit led by notorious pirate MIURA BULL.
Subsequent to the decision being issued the suspect was seen to calmly grab his side arm and requested his personal valet be summoned.
Experts have noted that it is not uncommon for those who have decided to take their own lives to exhibit an almost serene demeanor once the decision has been made and internalized.

The hostages identified as Strhyke Cantaso and Bhane Celesto, are presumably associates of the perpetrator and are said to be in relatively good health.
When brought to the CHAMBER window by Lhorenzho they appeared understandably haggard and tired. Both also appeared to have been subjected to some physical abuse.

Of major concern to security forces on the scene at the moment is the BIOMASS chamber timer which has been activated by the kidnapper.

Local authorities have verified that the 10 hour timer is running and although the specific timer for LHORENZHO was not shown, it is believed he has activated it as well.
(The photos above were provided by NEW EDEN authorities and close inspection reveals the timers have been activated)

The crime appears to have been pre-planned as the coding for the chamber has been altered and there appears to be no way to deactivate it without the assistance of the BIOMASS chamber developer who has not been located.
The men are locked in and nothing short of an explosion that would severely injure the participants could open the chamber.
New Eden workers compensation officials believe one of Lhorenzho's many contacts in the industry may have tipped him off as to the decision allowing him time to plan his final vendetta.

Lhorenzho has also indicated that an envelope containing a letter is to be opened and read upon his demise, further proof that he has undoubtedly initiated his own timer.

He has demanded that Ava Starfire, Sindel Pellion, and Sugar Kyle be brought to the chamber.
Several persons close to the suspect have stated that he has had a long running infatuation with the sexy trio.

He has also demanded that his workers compensation claim be accepted posthumously and that DEATH BENEFITS and other accrued benefits be paid out to named beneficiaries as specified in the letter he has in his possession in the chamber.

The authorities are working feverishly to meet some of the demands although the busy schedules of the three ladies named apparently  makes their appearance virtually impossible.
The decision that ostensibly fomented the eruption in the suspect is provided below.

Corp members of Lhorenzho interviewed have stated that he has been feuding aggressively with SKRMR management, in particular the mercurial MIURA BULL, over pressure to perform on the KILLBOARD.

The aging LHORENZHO was said to be struggling as he worked 20 plus hours a day to maintain a respectable position on the dreaded KILLBOARD, especially in light of the spectacular performances of several new young stars hired by the demanding BULL.


Decision and Order
Case 4587-852L
Re: Lhorenzho Villasana Escalante Del Bosque Pena III
The court finds that Lhorenzho is to "Take Nothing".
Of primary utility in the courts decision were a series of Sub-Rosa films provided by the investigative firm CHEATERS, hired by Employer SKRMR (Screaming Hayabusa) to rebut the numerous claims set forth by the complainant.
The undersigned trier of fact reviewed the 8 hours and 23 minutes worth of footage.(some portions of grainy quality were not considered)
Clearly the activities of the claimant as depicted therein call into question his veracity and credibility and his specific and ongoing injury allegations are suspect in toto as a result.
Mr. Villasana was seen in the provided video record, to be participating in a variety of strenuous activities both of a work and recreational nature that render his now clearly preposterous claims for orthopedic and Psychiatric benefits moot and unwarranted.
The court remands the matter back to the district court of jurisdiction for final disposition.
The employer and its insurer are found not liable and are relieved of any liablilty both past, current, and future stemming from claim number 4587-852L as recorded above.

Claimant has the right to file an appeal within 7 days to the NEW EDEN 18th district court of appeals.

Armando Cesar Trinidad Canizales
HRWCAB presiding judge Pro-Tem

The following may shed some light on the nature of the dispute as it developed.
You have pushed me for the last time BULL.
Unlike some of your new pilots, I will not be taken advantage of by you.
You have something to say to me go through my attorney at least as it pertains to my comp case.
FYI, my doctor has said I cannot be released to return to work for at least a month.

(as provided by Lhorenzho's counsel)


Case no: NO CASE NUMBER ASSIGNED (pending)
Venue choice: HEIMATAR
INJURED WORKER (completion of this section is required)
First name: LHORENZHO



Insurance carrier information(if known and applicable)
Carrier name: Not provided (possibly illegally uninsured)

Carrier address: Unknown

IT IS CLAIMED THAT (complete all relevant information)
1. The injured worker, born 4/12/2007 on Amsen VI - Moon 1 - Science and Trade school, while employed as a(n) PIRATE/GRIEFER/CAPSULEER/ENTREPRENEUR
     a specific injury  on: 2/26/2014 (OLD EARTH CALENDER SYSTEM)
     a cumulative trauma  -  AND CONTINUING (still employed by SKRMR)


Other body parts(attach additional sheets if required): LIBIDO AND GENITO URINARY, INCONTINENCE, COPD symptoms.

(Explain what the worker was doing at the time of injury and how the injury occurred)
Employee was working in excess of 100 hours per week.
Corporation ethos created an intense competitive atmosphere where KILLBOARD  leaders were lauded and where those lagging statistically were subjected to ridicule and ostracized.
The orthopedic component arose from constant handling and manipulating of space vessel controls and buttons, hangar work, guard duty, cleaning of quarters with toothbrushes, and babysitting the bastard children of Miura Bull.
Stress component is attributed to hostile work environment and exhaustion due to relentless and unmitigated pressure to propel SKRMR to the top of the BATTLECLINIC rankings.
The corporation is currently ranked 4th in all of NEW EDEN and this position is NOT acceptable to the current Screaming Hayabusa management team which has stated publicly that they will reach number 1 or all will die trying!
Numerous CTA's were scheduled with little or no rest periods provided between events.
In particular the "FEED BEBBY" campaign proved particularly damaging to employee.
A stream of young "top gun" types were recruited by Miura Bull to "motivate" the existing membership.
These young hotshots were prone to verbally abusing Lhorenzho and mocking his monthly production.

Rate of pay$ NOT APPLICABLE:
Pay structure designated as " Piece work"  - Pilots were required to be "self sufficient" which translated into you will need to scratch out a living. Membership ostensibly toiled for the glory of MIURA BULL .
  (circle one) monthly, weekly, hourly:  N/A

Last day off work due to injury: 02/27/2014 (Old earth calender designations used)
Period of disability:  Employee has NOT been released to return to work.
Physician examinations pending (various specialists as medical condition dictates)
Compensation was paid : Yes____   No: x___
total paid: 0
weekly rate(s) : 0   Date of last payment: N/A

furnished by employer:
yes:         no: x
name of medical provider or facility:  Not provided by employer
OTHER CASES: Numerous companion cases are pending.
 In addition there is a serious and willful component that will be addressed by the venue of jurisdiction.

Temporary Disability___x_ Permanent disaxbility__x___ Medical expenses___x___
Rehabilitation__x__ Medical treatment___x___
LAW FIRM:  Derpantsoff, Thompson, Mendoza, Salazar, Chang,  & Hill
Law firm bar number: 42578A - 236
Attorney: Susan Derpantsoff
Address:  Heild X - Moon 1 - Pator Tech School

Addendum 1A:
Please note the following: The basis for the Serious and Willful component: Additional documentation will be provided pending discovery.
This is but a single representative sample.

[18:17:43] Lhorenzho > the carpal tunnel will be added to the work comp case so i wouldnt be too celebratory if i were you
[18:18:01] Miura Bull > ahh
[18:18:06] Miura Bull > I have a special file for those
[18:18:14] Miura Bull > it's called the trash can
[18:18:18] Miura Bull > Tongue


Dear Susan,
Here is some additional documentation that may assist you as you prepare my comp case for trial.
There will be a trial no doubt as I do not see the obstinate BULL agreeing to an equitable settlement.
As you can see even his own right hand man SAINT VOODOO acknowledges that he is jeopardizing my health and the health of the membership in general.
You like the way I got Da BULL to date stamp the communication by tricking him into giving the date?
Like stealing candy from a brutish baby...hee hee.
I think we have a slam dunk case don't you.
See you at the mixer tonight?
There are some other issues I need to discuss with you to include the tactics you might want to consider when you depose that weirdo creep SAINT VOODOO.
Later dear.
Appreciate all your legal help.


P.S. Let's go for a minimum of 70% permanent disability ok? Make sure we get the right mix of liberal doctors that will ensure that level of PD. I need a life pension.
P.P.S. - Fuck that "light duty" option too. Make sure my doctors depict me as a rehab candidate who must be retrained to do another line of work other than this CAPSULEER SHIT!!
Git er done SUE!

cc - transcript
[15:42:33] Lhorenzho > im here for 24 hours straight if need be today. I know thats what you ordered.

[15:43:08] Saint Voodoo > make sure you take your allotted breaks
[15:44:41] Lhorenzho > fucking kestrel slipped away.
[15:44:47] Lhorenzho > dammit
[15:45:06] Lhorenzho > no  time for breaks.
[15:45:42] Lhorenzho > you are only grandstanding for the appeals board that will hear my comp case.........
[15:45:52] Lhorenzho > i warned you i was filing
[15:46:17] Lhorenzho > and now the continuing trauma only enhances my utlimate permanent disability gonna pay boy
[15:46:19] Miura Bull > lol
[15:47:52] Lhorenzho > you are continually egging me on to pass DILIUM...................
[15:47:59] Lhorenzho > the relentless push push push
[15:49:02] Lhorenzho > i should keep ahead of DIL
[15:49:09] Lhorenzho > as he is still eating my dust..........
[15:49:18] Saint Voodoo > yah
[15:49:27] Lhorenzho > you agree Voodoo?
[15:49:41] Lhorenzho > that i am being pushed unmercifully?
[15:49:46] Saint Voodoo > oh yes
[15:49:56] Lhorenzho > with not regard for my health.

[15:50:31] Lhorenzho > thank you. I always pegged you as a sharp one. I dont think you are weird and creepy like some of the other fellas always say
[15:51:03] Lhorenzho > the BULL pushes you too............I know
[15:51:19] Lhorenzho > *slips Voodoo card of attorney
[15:51:53] Lhorenzho > whats the date today again?
[15:52:09] Lhorenzho > February has short day amount right?
[15:52:35] Miura Bull > 28th yeah last day

[15:52:53] Lhorenzho > Voodoo would you be willing to take a deposition?
[15:53:05] Saint Voodoo > hahha
[15:53:10] Lhorenzho > TY for that BULL.
[15:53:18] Lhorenzho > i am being serious son.
[15:53:45] Lhorenzho > the BULL cannot fire you for giving true honest testimony in a work comp case


Sunday, November 24, 2013

Re: Lhorenzho
From: Tambo Reen
Sent: 2013.11.24 19:47
To: Sindel Pellion,

Dear Ms. Pellion,
Please note the following.

It pretty much speaks for itself.

The context will no doubt paint me as a roque and disloyal employee.

My ongoing disputes with my long time employer are really of a secondary nature and that scenario will eventually play itself out one way or the other, most likely with me in custody along with certain other co-conspirators.
It is what is is as the saying goes.

I would hope that you put any feelings of distaste and revulsion aside and finish reading this correspondence.

Some quick background information.

You are one of three beauties that my employer LHORENZHO has fixated on at one time or another during his long career.
(Ava Starfire, Sugar Kyle, and yourself)

You were his delectable trifecta.

Please do not take offense as he always used it as a term of endearment and always with a smile on his face and a gleam in his eye and sometimes even with some actual tumescence in his member. (he is an old man after all)

Let me cut to the chase Ms. Pellion as I know you are a busy young woman, what with your singing career and charitable works and pirating activities.

My employer, who was once a member of the WAFFLES as well (he was purged but on trumped up charges), is nearing the end of his life cycle.

It has been a gloriously successful career from a business perspective and he has also managed to get himself to -10, an objective which always brought him great pleasure and pride.
He loved playing the pirate although truth be told he was in actuality a business savant and his accounts are a clear testament to his proficiency as a tycoon and industry titan.

The man does have beaucoup bucks.

But he has also always been an incorrigible romantic.
He believed as Shakepeare once proclaimed....."She is woman and therefore to be won".
He does love the ladies, especially his elite trinity, in particular his lttle songbird Sindel.

He has spent many an evening sipping his rare Jovian brandy, smoking his New cuban cigar clones, snorting primo cocaine, and playing your songs over and over on his music device often times falling asleep with your angelic voice resonating throughout his quarters as a sublime bedtime lullaby of sorts.

QUE MUSICA TAN LINDA! he would often bellow as he nodded his head and swayed to the tunes of your enchanting songs.
(His first language was actually spanish)

God how he loved your singing.

He adored you from afar (well he once made his way to your quarters while inebriated but dropped his lock pick set and aborted his mission)

I am sorry for slipping up and speaking of him in the past tense but his physicians have told me it is a mere matter of day before he succumbs to his numerous pathology(s).

Yes I have my issues with him but I also am a diligent employee who is determined to see his last wishes fulfilled.

Please sing him a song!

It does not have to be at his funeral although that would be nice.
Croon for him my young starling.
Warble till you can warble no more.

I have no doubt that he would also see fit to leave your Angel Project a sizeable donation.
As I alluded up above, he is very wealthy.

I know you have recently written about scammers who have seen fit to take advantage of your kind heart and generous spirit but I assure you I am not one inclined to do so nor is my employer Lhorenzho guilty of such proclivities.

There are many who would vouch for his legitimacy.
Yes he was/is eccentric but are not most unique personas cut from a slightly different cloth?
You can talk to Miura Bull or others in the Black Rebel Rifter club or screaming Hayabusas for more specific references about this gentleman. They will tell you truthfully what he is about.

Sing for him Sindell!!!

Thats all he asks.

I await anxiously your response which I am confident will be a resounding YES as he has always been a great judge of people and beautiful women.
His last actual communication to me via a painfully long sequence of morse code transmitted by blinking of his eyes was this.....

"SINDEL will Sing!"

Tambo Reen - Asset management group - Lhorenzho enterprises


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Case #21354 - A356 - 873
Molden Heath sector:

To all officers assigned to this matter: JOHNSON, CASAS, BELL, SMITH.
Attached are several communications that have recently come to light and are the basis and precipitating factors leading to this  investigation.
Please read them as soon as possible in order to garner some background information on the case.
This investigation is priority one according to Captain Salinas.
We are also in the process of instituting a series of surveillance operations targeting the individuals involved.
Tambo Reen resides and conducts business in Jita with an occasional presence in Amarr and Dodixie.
This individual is an asset handler and trader of goods and supplies.

Miura Bull is a space transient of sorts and will have to be located by our agents prior to any specific action being taken.
Both will be brought in for questioning as soon as the investigative groundwork is laid.
Arrest warrants are in the works.
A Vincent R'Lyeh is also under suspicion and a dossier is being compiled on him as well.
The name Kane the Black is also cropping up and detective Casas is researching that suspect.

We are also in cooperation with the medical facility and are coordinating an increase in security in and around the hospital room where the target is currently convalescing.

The letters below speak for themselves.

The target Lhorenzho is currently in an intensive care unit in a quasi vegetative state following an attempt to take his own life subsequent to a devastating loss of a LOKI ship to a little tiny FIRETAIL frigate.

Here are the incident reports of those losses:

Some kid named Transmaritanus cleaned his clock!! LOL!

Its been a long time since I have flown a ship in combat myself but even I have to say this was pretty pathetic.
I may have been inclined to slit my own wrists as well if I had been so careless and inept! JK!!
There will be a meeting of the team after lunch today in squad assembly room 118C.

Lead Detective: Silas Thompson

cc - Captain William Salinas - precinct chief
cc - Pator Tech Medical center administration


From: Tambo Reen
Sent: 2013.11.24 00:26
To: Miura Bull,  

As a post script to my earlier letter please be aware that I personally would not include you in ANY communication loop involving these matters if that decision was left to me.

I don't like you mister. I never have.

But, my orders were to spam the "rolodex" so to speak with the news contained in my earlier memorandum involving the breakdown of my employer.

Your name is on that rolodex and thus you were advised of the developments.
Left to my own devices I would keep your fucking brutor ass in the dark!

While Lhorenzho is alive and kicking and manages to evade the BIOMASS center I will comply with his wishes, conflicted, crazed, and confused as they may be.

The consolidation of assets that I referenced in my earlier communication continues.

He is under a physician's care at the moment, and is said to be "heavily medicated" ostensibly for his own good.
According to his primary care provider he has also been in restraints as he has made two attempts to climb into the BIOMASS chamber. (The mini chamber that was set up in Pator Tech station by Lhorenzho to make his rivals "go away")

Only the BIOMASS protocols requiring the simultaneous pressing of the "KILL" button by two distinct state agents prevented his crazy wrinkled old ass from being liquidated.
He enlisted the help of someone named  "VINNY" who  was willing to assist him but the plan was a fiasco and was foiled.

Clearly his intent is to harm himself.
(update: He is now in a coma after taking an overdose of pills provided by one KANE THE BLACK. )
The hospital staff is playing a running loop of his favorite depressing melancholy tunes to keep his mind engaged in hopes he will snap out of his coma.
Bunch of crap if you ask me.

Truth be told I am ambivalent regarding how he goes to meet his maker as he has never been unduly solicitous of my feelings nor has he ever troubled himself to find out what my thoughts and ideas were regarding how he operated his business enterprises.

I was a mere clerk to him despite my advanced degrees in statistics, finance and business management.

Clearly, my own self interests are at play here as I do NOT want to be out in the job market seeking new employment should the old codger manage to eradicate himself and certainly not with empty pockets to show for my efforts and years of service.

I am told that in his medicated stupor and prior to sinking into a comatose state that he had been screaming out the names of Ava Starfire, Sugar Kyle, and Sindel Pellion. (not necessarily in that order)

Pellion is presumably also some kind of recording star and he babbled something about having her "sing" at his funeral.

He has also asked that his attorney be summoned and I suspect that some kind of adjustment to his last will and testament to provide some consideration to one or all of these women may be in the works.

Pellion also coordinates some form of New Eden NOOB contribution/donation center and I fear he may leave the bulk of his estate to this organization!

Lets hope not right BULL?

Would that he had been so generous with me back when he was still in possession of all his faculties.

I gave that man too much of my time and energy to walk away from this drama empty handed!!
I aim to get paid!

You yourself have had to put up with his incessant insubordination as well right?
I know what a thorn in your side he has been.

Your little "tell him we care" letter below fools no one!
I know you despise his ass as much as I do if not more.

Since you are now in the loop, you are inextricably involved.

It is not too late to make him pay.
Are you hearing me?

It is in your best interests to collaborate with me in whatever scheme I may cook up to assure that we are "taken care of" wouldn't you agree?

Wouldn't you love to walk away from this whole ridiculous self -absorbed sordid breakdown of his with some significant financial gain?
I know I would.

I will be contacting you again in the very near future with more specifics.

At this moment our immediate problem is that our potential benefactor may actually improve and survive this latest incident.
We have to walk a fine line here.
We have to keep him incapacitated for a while longer.

He is quite frail now though and when the time comes, a quick "pillow over the head" maneuver by some enterprising visitor to his hospital suite could prove to be the catalyst to a "windfall" for certain interested parties. No?
I trust that you will be able to handle that chore when the time comes.

Food for thought.
But, nothing must happen until all the pieces are in place.
NOTHING! You understand?

You may be in the process of cooking up your own "end game" scenario and I do NOT want our collective objectives to clash.
That is why I risk sending you these notes. Make sure you destroy them. Don't be stupid and careless BULL.
Also, we might want to come up with some contingency plans to deal with R'Lyeh and Kane.
Loose ends you know.
Some Molden Heath flatfoot has already contacted me so we have to act fast.

We have common interests.
Why not work together?
We could be set for life if we play this out right.

I have said too much.
We will talk soon BULL.

Tambo Reen - Asset management group  - Lhorenzho Enterprises.

Re: ?
From: Miura Bull
Sent: 2013.11.23 01:10
To: Tambo Reen,


you can tell your boss that is very much appreciated but we hope for his return ingame shortly, with his fortune still in his own pockets!

please tell him :)

From: Tambo Reen
Sent: 2013.11.23 00:26
To: Miura Bull,

Dear Bull,
I don't know what you did but I am glad you did it.
I assume you had something to do with this turn of events. Perhaps a "mercenary type" hired by you to create turmoil in Lhorenzho's life.
If you were not responsible, then I will just have to thank the space GOD's for this providential turn of events.

My prayers have been answered in any event and It appears also that my days of suffering for 20 hours a day at the trade console are over.

My boss has just sent me a cryptic memorandum advising me that I am to cancel all pending trades and consolidate accounts.

I am to provide a complete inventory of all assets in ALL systems, both physical and otherwise and submit a detailed report to his main office asap.

I am directed to call the nearest BIO-MASS center and make an immediate appointment for him and I have been advised that his attorney is preparing documents to transfer his entire estate to you BULL.

I of course am wondering why the hell he would leave one stinking ISK to your fucking ass but evidently you have made some kind of impression on the old fool.

Preliminarily, the total assets would appear to be in the area of 130 Billion ISK, not counting another 15 Billion still tied up in orders.
There are others in his employ which are completely unknown to you who also have significant portions of his asset basis under their control. I am to contact them as well.
The final asset tally could very well be twice the numbers noted above.

It is somewhat of a mystery to his staff here as to what may have transpired to cause this sudden bout of melancholy and emotionalism but rumors have it he was recently humiliated in the area of Gulmorogod and that the humiliating incident was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.
The word is that he had his hat handed to him while flying his LOKI by a young capsuleer tooling around in a tiny Firetail.
It figures.
He was never a very good pilot.
Hell we all know he sucked.

I told him time and time again to stay out of the heavily traversed space lanes and concentrate his efforts on popping CYNO ships and to do so only in sparsely populated systems.
Frankly, we all know thats all that old coot is/was good for but lots of luck getting that megalomaniac to accept that reality.
Did he listen to me.

Of course not.
Now the BIOMASS center awaits.

He always was one for grandiose actions that were premised on assumptions about his capabilities that were delusional at best.
He was a crazy old loon for sure but he had his moments.

I cannot say it was ALL bad.
He could be generous but he was also one bossy motherfucker.
It may be all over now.
I am sending you this only because I have been ordered to do so by one of his other administrative operatives.
We await clarifiying information and will relay it to you once it arrives but things are looking grim.

The end may be near.

Tambo Reen - Asset management group - Lhorenzho enterprises.