Monday, August 11, 2014

I'm so Pretty or WITH THE FIRST PICK in the capsuleer draft "RANSM" selects......

Monday, July 1, 2013


RUSH POST!!! Please excuse typos and grammatical errors.

Note the following communication relayed to me earlier tonight by one "Mighty  Neckbeard" as I made my way back to Evati from Heild. 

[02:32:58] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Oddelulf
[02:34:00] The Mighty Neckbeard > <url=showinfo:1376//875463717>Lhorenzho</url> RANSM said they're interested in recruiting you
[02:34:25] Lhorenzho > ransom?

More on this message later.

I was on my way back to Evati system in a shield boosted jaguar to avenge the loss of a Merlin to a punk in a firetail fit with long range guns when the cryptic communication referenced above came in.
NO!, I did not bother to look at his guns before engaging!
And yes, I had the wrong ammo loaded and yes I did  read Sulei's updated ammo guide.
The problem is in the EXECUTION cabrones not in lack of knowledge!!
 (By the way, the firetail pilot did not even have the decency to offer up a GF.)

Yes, the losing streak that I spoke about at length in my last post continues and it is sapping the life energy out of me. 

For crying out loud why won't somebody orchestrate some kind of fucking intervention? 
I am hurting dammit!

I need help FFS!!!
Where are my friends?

Where are my corpies?

Where is my CEO?

Why hasn't he invoked the "Employee assistance Plan" that is discussed in the small print of my employment contract with the Screaming Hayabusas? 

It's there to help corporate members who are having problems coping with issues whether personal or combat related. 
It just so happens that I am embroiled in difficulties in both arenas.
Its obvious to anyone who cares to look closely enough that I am at my breaking point.

Yet, the contact information to my EAP program has been withheld.

That fucking Miura Bull has refused to give me the 800 number! 
(900 numbers he gives out like there is no tomorrow.)
He is too busy being a fucking TRAVEL AGENT to notice my plight!

Que Maldito!

Clearly, as I suspected, all the feel good talk of FRATERNITY and BROTHERHOOD that is bandied about at corporate functions, especially after the libations have been flowing for a while, are nothing more than empty platitudes. 

Hollow words and phraseology, whose only purpose is to assuage the feelings of guilt that many of my "mates" are harboring over their unabashed neglect of my dire situation and circumstances. 

They know I am on my last leg. 
They know. 
I know they know.

Still, they do nothing.


Its a harsh reality, the one that forces a quasi idealist like me to come to terms with such an ugly truth.

People just don't give a "flying chili bean fuck", to coin a phrase used by Gus (Michael Douglas' sidekick in BASIC INSTINCT).


That's their attitude. 
So be it!
From the narrative above it should be clear to the most obtuse why I do what follows.
I must do what I must do!

Clearly, from the message above, even a blind Gallente could discern that I have become a "coveted recruit".
A hot commodity!
A "bluechipper" as they  used to  say in the world of football recruiting on ancient Earth.
Bigshots in other corporations are now interested in ME!
(Thank GOD I read the message from Mighty Neckbeard before running that razor across my wrists.)
Ya hear me BULL?
I am the belle of the ball now and my dance card is filling up fast mister!

The ball is in my court now!
I am holding all the cards.


I have the leverage! 
Archimedes said..."Give me a lever long enough and I will move the world!"

Well, I got the fucking LEVER now BULL!

 I want a fucking RAISE!!!

Read my lips! 
Dinero punk! At least 4.5%!

I want my quarters upgraded.
I won't stay in these basement digs near the station sewage processor any longer.
Only a fool would NOT strike while the iron was hot.

I want you to arrange a "date" for me with you know who!
(You will rent me a tuxedo too fucker!)


I am a projected first round pick. 
Champagne and Hot tubs!

Don't make me jump ship.

BTW....who is RANSM?

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