Monday, August 11, 2014

The GREEN POULTICE - I'm OK you're OK or Objects in Mirror are closer than they Appear

Monday, July 25, 2011

Recently, I made a public statement promising the release of certain documents that would make it easier for my friends and Corpmates in New Eden to understand the reasons for some of my odd behavior.  As part of my ongoing recovery process and to "come clean", I have authorized the release of some medical reports that were generated during my extended treatment at the Caldari Mental Hospice and Psychiatric compound.
I also need to apologize to some of the younger corp members in the Black Rebel Rifter Club. (Well my fucking Plex Selling Anonymous group sponsor says I have to apologize!)

Some of them for whatever reason have looked up to me as a sort of role model though I cannot for the life of me figure out why.  I have led many of these impressionable young brutes to believe that I was an Industrial and Trading Titan and that I spent my days behind an impressive array of electronic display boards "wheeling and Dealing" at the highest levels of New Edens financial and commodities Markets.  THAT WAS A STAGGERING MISREPRESENTATION!  Actually it was a BOLD FACED LIE! I lied to you little fuckers!
As I noted in a recent post, I am a TRUST FUND baby and have had access to ridiculously large sums of ISK my entire life.
I never traded a damn thing in my life other than my integrity and self-respect for the opportunity to score some drugs or pay for the lap dances the girls at the POPPED POD were always eagerly lined up to give me. News gets around fast when some fool has ISK to spread around willy nilly. Love and Affection are easy to come by when you got a thick wallet. Even a small "missile" is forgiven in the shadow of a BIG wallet. (Hey what can I say, the Rumors about Caldari men are sadly true).
There were some fine "chulitas" dancing at that club! Say hello to Candee for me will ya?

I am not proud of the man described in the Medical Report below. It seems my entire life I have struggled with the need to find even a smidgen of stability in my behavior and relationships. I want people to love me. I NEED people to like me! I want to stand in front of my mirror and proclaim loudly (like Sally Fields, an ancient earth actress once said during her academy awards speech), "YOU LOVE ME...YOU REALLY LOVE ME!!"
I am on the road to recovery. My doctor swears to that fact. I don't feel normal. Most people pull away from me after just a short period of relating with me. I know I am quirky and odd. That is the most painful part of this whole thing. I KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG! There is no ignorance is bliss component to this for me. I am totally SELF-AWARE and cognizant of my problems. My Caldari Diety help me!

I hope my current CEO doesn't require a "re-evaluation" of my application after reading the report. Another PURGE appears to be on the horizon for me. I hope to be able to cope with that eventuality without visiting the PLEX store for "comfort"! 
AY Caramba!!!
Note: Some of you may have already seen this report as it was leaked during the contentious and angry legal battle waged by my family to cut me out of my inheritance. (I should have acted on my desires to chop em all up into little pieces back in the day before these meds I am on killed the compulsion! They would have just recloned the fuckers anyway. By the way I don't hate my mother!)
THE REPORT (Excerpts detailing range of motion testing and results of diagnostic testing
omitted for brevity)
PLEX as a psychotropic Drug.
The Palliative use of GTC and Plex.- A case study
Our case subject, Lhorenzho comes to us with a constellation of complaints stemming from an uncontrollable urge to dampen the brutal nature of life in EVE by selling PLEX.
Some Background
In his youth, Lhorenzho admittedly  committed egregious and socially unacceptable indiscretions which he acknowledges caused him great consternation and shame. It is documented in the record that he was a hoodlum, a thief, and a social misfit. He was a connoisseur of the criminal arts, sampling every penal code section as if it were a delicacy on a buffet table.  Among the litany of criminal actions credited to our subject is a history as a long term serial abuser of recreational drugs.  (see Criminal records attached)
Cocaine, heroin, LSD, marijuana, hard drink, glue and paint sniffing were all activities that were noted in the records referenced. In addition to the commonly recognized substances listed above, Lhorenzho also experimented with mind altering materials found only on some of the more exotic alien systems in Hakonen,  Molden Heath and the Great Wildlands. (He had a particular fondness for amarrian shrooms laced with "sansha syrup" an infamous additive known for its hallucinatory properties)
The record clearly shows an erosion in Lhorenzho’s social circle stemming from his dependency on the items noted. Alienation from friends and family were an expected by product of his penchant for indulging his numerous addictions.
Despite the above history, Lhorenzho had made great strides in his quest for recovery and was even released from ongoing treatment with the condition he participate in “maintenance sessions” with his primary care provider.  This fragile status quo came crashing down when Lhorenzho relocated from Hakonen to Egbinger in the Molden Heath region. (Apparently the move was "inspired" by a blog entry by WENSLEY)
*Dr. note - Wensley may also be an alias for Lhorenzho. That or the patient has been "shadowing" the individual as investigator notes reveal a correlation between the patients addresses and those of "WENSLEY".
Apparently, the Egbinger system has proven to be too challenging for him and the insurmountable losses have taken a heavy toll on his mental well-being. 
 These losses caused a degradation of his natural coping mechanisms causing  Lhorenzho to look to external sources for relief.
It is not clear from the record what specific watershed event led to his discovery of the GTC buying and PLEX selling alternative. It is suspected that his careless purchasing of a Thrasher destroyer for 500 million instead of the customary 500 thousand may have been the “straw that broke the camels back”. Lhorenzho’s file does contain both a rejection notification from CCP to his petition for return of his funds and a letter from the perpetrator of the scam ridiculing Lhorenzho for his “dumb-ass stupidity” in falling prey to one of Eve’s most celebrated cons.
The start of Lhorenzho’s journey down the “road to perdition” can most likely be traced back to this humiliating incident. Lhorenzho’s primary care provider has been kind enough to forward a copious file that includes a detailed breakdown of the patients Wallet transactions. It is clear from the files that every one of Lhorenzho’s many many losses has been followed shortly after by a GTC purchase and sale of PLEX.  Lhorenzho Is clearly utilizing what  in the medical profession has come to be known as “THE GREEN POULTICE”.  In ancient earth, it was customary for many humanoids to commence an uncontrollable “shopping spree” to temper the often painful events life can present.  Lhorenzho will sell a PLEX for similar reasons. Indeed, he goes to great lengths to rationalize his PLEX selling  and is ready with any number of reasons as to why he finds it imperative to buy as many as 3 GTC’s in one day and sell the PLEX.
To patients like Lhorenzho, few recreational drugs can provide a high as divine or euphoric as the one created when selling PLEX and watching their wallet balance grow. The ISK itself intrinsically means nothing. Its the high of knowing your wallet has ballooned. This condition is devastatingly difficult to treat. He feels he will be loved  for his wallet. The wallet MUST GROW and grow daily or else he will feel the universe hates him. One of the saddest maladies ever encountered!
 Lhorenzho’s addiction to PLEX selling came to light when his second wife (whose whereabouts are unknown) stumbled upon the pile of Email verifications of GTC purchases from EVETIMECODES.COM and SHATTEREDCRYSTAL.COM, while cleaning out Lhorenzho’s  “man cave”.  Thousands of dollars in billing were involved and they were funded by the use of an arcane but still miraculously functioning AMERICAN EXPRESS card.  Although his Wallet has grown exponentially over the last 3 months, it is not a source of pride, but rather a grim reminder of his frailty and failure as a man. Every single ISK in his bankroll of Billions is a testament not to his ISK earning brillo, but to his inept and grossly underdeveloped skills as a capsuleer.
As expected, his addiction to PLEX selling has resulted in foreclosure of his station living quarters and his meager fixed income has been garnished. In addition, an injunction has been filed freezing his Wallet and all assets, declared and undeclared. He may have a burgeoning wallet but most of the funds are frozen pending the appeal process.
Any and all past, present, and future corpmates of Lhorenzho should proceed with caution. He should not be “actively recruited” until such time as he has undergone both a rehab stint for his ongoing drug addiction, but also treatment for his debilitating reliance on PLEX selling.
This PLEX selling as a mood enhancer phenomenon is becoming more widespread and is an underappreciated threat to the stability of the social fabric in EVE. Lhorenzho is a prime example of the devastation this recent medical phenomenom can wreak on an individual and his family. PLEX selling is an abomination that must be curbed until such time as the proper authorities can more adequately assess the long term effects of the practice.
Kwak Kuttemup M.D.
Admonitions – Lhorenzho should not be provided with copies of this report.
Supplemental data/disclaimers/public safety directives: The following individuals and Organizations are hereby put on notice that clearance from the above practitioner and with Lhorenzho’s primary care physician are required prior to interacting with Lhorenzho in any substantive manner. All interactions should cease immediately. Lhorenzho should also be eased out of his role as CEO of Bellum Singularis, but the removal should be done incrementally so as to minimize the emotional impact.
Mr. Flashfresh (CEO – The Bastards) – The  subjects pending app with “meatshield” should be rejected until further notice. Lhorenzho may be “playing’” this corporation for reasons not yet clear. The patient may view the “Bastards” as facilitators who celebrate the “DRINKING” and partying culture. The patients progress to date, little as it is could be severely compromised by this notorious corporation known for its “DRUNK ROAMS”!
Lady S (Lady Shaniqua?) – Lhorenzho’s request to act as “deputee” (sic) to Eve’s preeminent “polic” official should not be acted upon. Under no circumstances should the patient be permitted access to weapons of any type. Weaponry mounted on “flying craft” with enhanced delivery systems capable of projecting force over extended distances should be particularly avoided.  A suicide watch may be needed as the patient may also seek to utilize Lady S. as a mechanism for effecting "death by police".  Adding additional complexity to this entire scenario is that here may also be a "Romantic" fantasy component to this fixation. Also, a pad of paper with the words.."GARMON AIN"T SHIT" written on it 2500 times has been noted by the officer searching patients premises.
**Lady S. should refer to footnote and contact the proper authorities for return of her "items" noted below. Return is contingent upon their importance as evidence in an ongoing police investigation.
In addition to those listed above, the following individuals and entities should be wary of any contact with Lhorenzho.  The patient harbors fanciful delusions of being an “integral component” of a celebrated Corporation. He is a diagnosed PLEX dependent egotistical narcissist who craves attention and an uncontrolled desire to be “somebody”. Rather than work through legitimate channels to achieve this lofty goal, the patient seeks to attain this status by association with established individuals of notoriety or corporations of renown. To use the vernacular of the street, he is a classic Celebrity Hound. The patients search for success is wholly externalized. His entire being is a collection of vicarious associations and personality usurpations whereby rather than developing his own style and personality, he merely assumes facets of the personas of those around him who he has fixated upon. He is a sometimes perplexing amalgalm of those who may be in his inner circle at any given moment.  Who, What, and Where is the real Lhorenzho? It may take years of intense focused psychotherapy to unravel that mystery.
Nursultan – Pyrotechnics Inc.  – One of several corporations being simultaneously wooed by patient. Lhorenzho has apparently been shadowing Nur since his early days as an eager young “rifter pilot” prodigy.

Planetary Genocide - A whiteboard writing device was found in a storage unit with a long sequence of "PG does PI" written by the patient apparently with his left hand. 
Gunpoint Diplomacy –  A recent terse exchange between Lhorenzho and  CEO Sard Caid raises concern for the safety of Mr. Caid described by the patient as a “foul mouthed motherfucker”. Lhorenzho claims only his “best friend” status with a “Wensley” prevents him from kicking “SardyPops” ass. 
*The patients quarters were noted to have every inch of wallspace covered with charts and graphs evidently compiled and generated by a distinguished numbers crunching capsuleer named Wensley who we feel may also be in danger.
Hope and Change – Evidently CEO Rhonen Marin has let slip the fact that he lives in “Illinois” which is apparently a designator or classification for an ancient earth governmental  unit. Tickets to “Champlaigne” have been found among Lhorenzho’s personal effects. Mr. Marin’s congenial nature makes him especially vulnerable to the patients insidious subterfuge and manipulative tendencies.
Veto – Connected to Gunpoint via recent personnel transfer(s). A  fixation with a lieutenant Graham is apparently germinating. He should be advised.
Sniggwaffe – Patient was “purged” by this group. At the time of the purge, Lhorenzho’s entire system of self -worth and psychiatric health and well-being was predicated on his membership in this pirate corporation.  Massive files are noted memorializing the patients efforts to effect reinstatement with this group.  Classic love-hate syndrome that could end tragically.  Master Zeuth (now a former SWIGG)  should block any further communications with patient.  15,000 “I love the WAFFLES” lapel pins were found in the patients living quarters.
Noble Sentiments –  Dorn Zask and Ceragor  - Identities may have been stolen in order to obtain funds to purchase GTC and sell PLEX. (Family has apparently suspended the patients access to TRUST FUND monies)
Kilkat is Back – the patient maintains relatively friendly relations with this group although their numerous poddings of the patient have introduced some volatility into the dynamic.
PwnedFactor – The patients speaks glowingly of this corp and its CEO Eternum Praetorian. There appears to be an unhealthy and overstated sense of gratitude by Lhorenzho to Eternum for teaching him about “aggression mechanics and session timers”. This relationship should be monitored.

Miura Bull - Mr. Bull is in the process of reconstituting the Black Rebels group per our investigator. We have reason to believe that the patient may be trying to effect entry in to this proposed corporate entity. It cannot be stressed too strongly that Lhorenzho is NOT currently sufficiently recovered to warrant consideration for acceptance into ANY corporation let alone one with violence as its primary focus. (warning letter should be sent to Miura Bull ASAP)

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Bhane Celesto was recently mentioned in a publication by the patient in which he strongly insisted that Celesto was a blackmailer seeking funds in order to prevent the distribution of damning letters and papers that could be harmful to Lhorenzho. Bhane Celesto has been discovered to be yet another ALIAS for the patient. (Important doctor note- patient is NOT suffering from a classic multiple personality disorder)

Further Update: Bhane Celesto was recently podded by Miura Bull in Bosboger! The complications this could introduce are too numerous to mention!  If Mr. Bull has podded an alias of the patient there could be serious ramifications.
Anyone else who would like to contact the above practitioner with concerns regarding the patient should do so expeditiously at the number found in the letterhead.

**FINAL NOTE:  A lock box inscribed with an elaborate family crest identified by court records as belonging to Lhorenzho's family has been located in an asteroid belt in the Evati system.  The box contained jewels and "frilly and Lacy" undergarments monogrammed with the initials L.S.


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