Monday, August 11, 2014

THE HUMAN STAIN or Expectation is the Root of All Heartache

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I have become a hermit and of my own volition a NEW EDEN bum!

Humanity, with all its heinous propensities toward iniquity, its inherently duplicitous nature, its rampant depravity, abhorrent baseness and degradation, unapologetic miscreancy, self inflicted loathesome frailties and unseen but equally debauched and life sapping spiritual blemishes has tried my patience for the last time.

(To think I once considered myself a people person.)

All of you!!
Pirates, industrialist, wormholers, PvPers, Carebears, high, low, and nullseccers alike!

I wash my hands of you!

As Melville said:

“To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee”

Son Diablos todos!! DIABLOS!!!

Mankind, and yes you beautiful siren like seductive temptresses known as WOMAN have forced me to take this necessary step, this divergence in my life path.

Jezebels and Delilahs get thee behind ME!!!!

First let me say that it was not easy to distance myself from some of GOD's finest work.

I miss that most of all.
I am talking about women.

My former corporation, the BLACK REBEL RIFTER CLUB and its parent alliance, THE DEVIL's TATTOO, had some of the most delectable femme fatales found anywhere in the universe.
Luna (ay que chula!), Arianne (mujer tan bella!), and Lao (que preciosa!) to name but three were visions of lusciously enticing sensuous beauty!!!

It was great to be a man in that corporation!

That titilating aspect aside, I must continue on my current HOBO path, for as I said, I cannot and will not subject myself to the vagaries of that capricous and tumultuous species for one second longer.

I can no longer deal with people.
Where is my great cleansing flood?
Where is my fresh start?

Many of you who know me are aware that I have been a tortured soul for most of my life in NEW EDEN.

Joy, happiness, and peace of mind elude me.
I am in a constant state of agitation.
I am perpetually unsettled.


I have asked myself that question an interminable number of times.
Self reflection and introspection ruled my life for years.
WHY, I was always asking myself and my therapist.


Might it be I was and am still disappointed in the handiwork of our grand architect?
Could that be it?
I think so.

I believe in the concept of intelligent design!

Only the hand of a mighty GOD like entity could have created this astoundingly majestic, awe-inspiring wondrous existence in which we all revel.
Still, questions remain.

WHY, for instance, I often ask,  did the creator choose to lower the bar when it came to the creatures he conjured to populate his universe(s)?

Why not make the WORST possible created entity the equivalent of an angel?
Even those cast down from heaven of which Milton wrote so eloquently would have been a far better starting point.

Why does the average being have to be a VINCENT R'lyeh for example, or a DIRTY PROTAGONIST, or a profligate capitalist like SARD CAID, or a demented megalomaniac like The Mittani (sic)?

What kind of a foundation was that?
I longed for a creation filled with heavenly cherubic beings and got these bums instead!!
There are no abstract qualities extant to be honored in that bunch.
He could have started anywhere as his base and worked up in quality from there but he chose not to.


Instead, we have a universe filled with derelicts, thieves, rapists, murderers, child molesters, extortionists, carpetbaggers, pirates, money launderers, felons, convicts, fugitives, prostitutes (this should be legal), moneygrubbing capitalists and CORPORATION HOPPERS (the most egregious criminal of all!).
The marred progenitures of his initial faulty seed.
(Was the almighty slumming one day or did he just have a bad day?)

Our NEW EDEN God looked down at all he had made and said it was VERY BAD!!!
I am sure he screamed it.

Now, as I push my EVE equivalent of a shopping cart around the Heild system, picking up space debris, scrap metals, frozen corpses and assorted detritus, I have plenty of time to ruminate on cosmic concepts and ideals that are of fundamental importance.

Who needs it? Its not important now is it?
Wallets brimming with ISK.
Not germane to a meaningful existence.
Fancy ships.
NOPE. They blurr your vision.

Faction modules. Forget it.
They throw your moral compass off kilter.
I am able to look at humanity now without filters.
It is amazing how your life changes when you drop off the grid and lead a celestial HOBO's existence.
I have given ALL my shit away!! I feel liberated.
I now Beg for a living.
I enjoy rummaging through station waste containers, sifting through castoff hazardous biological materials, combing through smelly rubbish filled hangar areas, and pleading pitifully for my days rations and supplies.
I get my meals at a halfway house in Egbinger.
I am not proud.
It brings me closer to the core of humanities basic attributes and virtues.


I am now in the spot where the rubber meets the road as they say.
No one puts on airs here.
There is very little pretentiousness when a person deals with a HOBO.
You often get to see the real person, the one that is hidden away from societies finer elements for fear that they will be judged by those they erroneously consider their betters.
Poor souls.

People don't give a shit if you, the lowly BUM see the person they really are.
The good are good and the bad are bad. Crystal clear.
You approach and they begin to recoil.
They smell you and see your tattered clothing and your battered imicus filled with garbage and they react, often rudely and crudely, with no effort to conceal their true nature.

Don't bother asking if you can clean their fancy Battlecruisers windows with your minmitar squeegee and spray bottle.
They cannot tolerate you being so near.
It is what it is.
Painful at times but it is REAL.

But, there are some who will deal with you, even if they have to hold their noses.
It is these people that have inspired me to go HOBO.
I wish to interact with this bunch.
They can be found only through your own misery.

I love this new reality to be honest.

Even more so than the one I enjoyed before in my earlier life in New Eden.
I had EVERY toy concievable in NEW EDEN.
I had billions and billions and billions in ISK.
What I did not have was true happiness.
I was rich but I was so so poor.
There is no more disillusionment in my world.

No more quandaries, bewilderment, or puzzling over the actions of a fellow citizen in EVE.
I have stopped trying to figure you out MIURA BULL!!!!!

There are some who have proclaimed that EVE has broken me and that this my latest quirky move is motivated by a lack of moxie and lack of willingness to face the brutal universe head on.

I assure you that is not the case.

I just don't let it bother me anymore.

I am a BUM and a HOBO and a HERMIT and a VAGRANT and I LOVE IT!

My daily CTA involves a beggars tin cup, tepid soup, unsolicited preaching by do-gooders, and half smoked cigarettes.

I get my loving from am enlightened ex prostitute who has also bravely shed her shackles of coerced allegiance to contemporary ZEITGEIST.

Other than an occasional shot of penicillin, her love creates no encumbrances or demands.

I expect little of you dear humanoids and am NEVER surprised or disappointed when you meet my expectations.

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