Tuesday, June 7, 2011
For morning in the bowl of night
Has cast the stone that set the stars to flight!”
I had just quoted that beautiful passage from Omar Khayyam’s sensuous Rubaiyat, and was leaning in to give my “evenings entertainment” a sweet kiss when I noticed the flashing alert on my communications panel. Damn that fucking contraption! The blue pill would only last so long and the seconds of pharmaceutically induced turgidity were ticking away. The pumpus phallicus would only stay primed for a limited time.
Focus Lhorenzho focus. Never mind what those two malcontent troublemakers were cooking up. You have a “target rich” environment right here in your quarters motherfucker. Focus.
While peering down the supple valley of sweetness that was splaying out before me, I made sure to keep one eye on the intrusive blinking monitor. Blink, blink, blink. It was like the telltale heart.
Now totally aggravated, I adjusted my position slightly to better read the red text. Where are my fucking glasses?
It appeared Syclone Tracy and Zodiac Black, two fellow Black Rebel Rifter club corpmates were plotting some shenanigans and were in the midst of concocting some quick plans to rendezvous a mere 12 jumps from my location! I wanted to crash that party bad! Shit.
I wanted in but I was too old to have my cake and eat it too. My days of moaning and roaming had long passed.
I had to choose and choose quickly. What’s her name, the sweet young thing from the Podded Pod social club downstairs was ready and oh so willing and oh so paid for but……..my corpies!
Bros before hoes and all that shit!
Screw it! I quickly jumped to my feet, rearranged my “stuff “and pulled my pants up.
“Uh, Sweetie, I will have to get a rain check. Duty calls?” I was out the door before she could react! Her bonus would be whatever she could pilfer from my quarters before leaving. Lots of luck with that. Blood from a stone you see.
I am nothing if I am not quick when it comes to prepping and undocking my trusty rifter. The hardest part was deciding which one of my 15 different fits I would pick. That took a minute.
I was soon warping at top speed to my destination.
“Heroes, I am on my way”, I announced on comms as I punched AZER into the navigation computer.
I could feel my chest tightening a bit and a lump in my throat as I sped toward my destination.
Syclone Tracy was waiting for me when I hit system and the young phenom Zodiac Black quickly joined us. What a group. We were as eager as any pride of young lions you might have found on the savannahs of ancient Earth’s Serengeti Plains. Eager yes, but oh so inexperienced. Our initial plans in Azer were to flip cans or loot wrecks to provoke a reaction from the local denizens. We were horribly inept at this to the point of eliciting mocking comments in local. Bikers on Rifters they catcalled.
Our visions of inflicting a New York City Central Park like wilding session on the good folks of Azer had fallen flat.
Lucky for us, we had a rambunctious young pup with us and it was Zodiac Black (Zblack to his buddies) who suggested we make a foray into a neighboring low sec system (MYA) where earlier in the day he had looted a sweet set of snake implants! Miura keep an eye on this wunderkind! Encouraged by Zodiac’s tales of a possible bonanza we plotted our course for MYA and engaged our warp drives.
Once in system it wasn’t long before we spotted a Catalyst on scan and the hunt was on! Zblack also proved to be quick on the draw when it came to scanning and we were soon in the same belt with the hapless Holo Cesaille of University of Caille corporation. Shouts of jubilation could be heard from our little fleet as ZBlack announced that he had scrambled the unlucky pilot and I with heart pumping made haste to the kill zone. I was flying my shield buffed Rifta , specifically a fit “suggested” by our illustrious CEO, the inimitable Miura Bull.
I jumped in, locked, scrambled, and brought my overheated 150’s to bear. My rocket launcher was also firing its payload. "He is jamming!", I heard Zodiac yelling as I adjusted my orbit.
We were indeed like young inexperienced lions as we were having trouble getting the suffocating hold and the kill was sloppy as our prey held on and put up a struggle but eventually he succumbed to our guns and popped. Zodiac made a valiant effort to secure the pod but the pilot made his escape, hopefully to spread tales of the existence of a new corp of Rifter flying killers.
Sadly, the kill was made before Syclone could make his way into the belt and he did not get in on the finish. Unfortunately the loot was meager but it was a rich take when you consider the fact that you cannot put a price on the adrenaline rush we experienced from the encounter. That’s why we do what we do is it not? Since I had overheated my guns longer than I should have, I found it necessary to dock up for some quick repairs once my global criminal countdown had expired. There was blood in the water now and with our blood lust aroused it was not long before we set out in search of more targets. How many kills does a killing spree make?
We had seen a hurricane in MYA system prior to engaging the catalyst and as we made the jump into Gerper we once again noticed the Hurricane piloted by Jackson352 of Dark Nexus corporation apparently ratting. Dare we hurl ourselves into a deadly dance of death with this powerful battlecruiser? In the words of the ancient earth political figure Barack Obama, “YES WE CAN”!
AND YES WE DID! The Rifta’s struck.
Unfortunately, once again the inexperience of the “young lions” cropped up and the result was a badly coordinated attack, punctuated by my premature rush into the fray before my corpmates could react. I was indeed the MOUSE THAT ROARED as I locked and warp scrambled the fearsome Battlecruiser piloted by a man with 207 kills and only 19 losses. But then the mousetrap sprang and I was soon feeling the sting of the 425’s! AY Caramba!!! If only I had realized earlier in the encounter that the cane never deployed his drones! I would have pulled back and given my corpmates time to reach me and we might have been able to project our force more efficiently and taken the Cane down. Three rifters could have got under the guns of the possibly drone less BC and who knows what might have happened.
As my shields melted and my armor started to go I could hear Syclone yelling to me that he was seconds away. Those were the last words I heard as my Rifter popped. With my head spinning, my eyes blinded by the flash of the explosions, and my nostrils filled with smoke, I desperately reached for the warp lever on my pod. Gracias a Dios, despite suffering from the combat shakes, I was able to engage the lever and warp to our safe. The loss of my ship could not diminish the elation we felt and we exchanged giddy congratulations all around for the effort. Not wanting to engage the Cane again with only two Rifta’s it was agreed that the episode should end and we decided to dock up and call it a night. I can only imagine what adventures await us once Miura gets our battle itinerary set. We are ready baby!